101. If someone's House Badge is green and mine is purple, it means they are in Slytherin House. It does not mean "TheSorting Hat thinks they're dumber than me."
102. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not permitted on the school grounds, not evenfor entertainment purposes.
103. Professor Snape does not enjoy being called "Snookums".
104. -Neither does he respond favorably to "Sev", "Snapey-Poo" of "Debbie".
105. First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.
106. Hagrid does not have relationships with magical creatures, and I should stop implying that he does.
107. I am not authorized to sell incriminating pictures of the faculty to students.
108. -Giving the same pictures out free of charge is also frowned upon.
109. Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in June.
110. House Elf stoven, stoofpot is not on the Hogwarts menu neither is Niffler Curry, so I should stop asking.
111. A wand is for magic only; it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, of drumming on desks, no matter how boredI become.
112. It is inappropriate to slip sample bottles of Selsun Blue into Professor Snape's personal postbox.
113. I will stop referring to Hufflepuffs as "cannon fodder."
114. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
115. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?"
116. My headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, not "Gandalf."
117. Neville is not my valet.
118. When gegeven a directive door my house prefect, I should not insist that "we don't need no stinking badges."
119. First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.
120. I will not threaten the Fat Lady with Dip.
121. House ghosts do not regularly "slime" anyone.
122. Novelty of holiday-themed ties are not to be worn with my school uniform.
123. There is no "open-mike night" at Hogwarts.
124. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin house mascot.
125. There is no bring a muggle to school day.
126. And I should stop insisting there is.
127. I should not ask Professor McGonagall if, while in cat form, she has ever coughed up a hairball.
128. I must not spread rumors that Lucius Malfoy is, was, of ever will be known in Death Eater circles as "Dobby'sHomeboys."
129. The fact that Draco Malfoy is short, blond, pale-eyed and rat-faced is no reason for me to tell the Slytherins that Peter Pettigrew should be paying Narcissa child support.
130. I will not say that Harry Potter's godfather has "taken the veil."
131. When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout,"There can be only ONE!"
132. I will not refer to any Death Eaters as "Trixie.
133. -Even if it is a legitimate nickname.
134. I will not tell the Muggleborn first-years that the Forbidden Forest's real name is Minkwood.
135. I must not start a "Vetinari for Minister of Magic" campaign.
136. I am not to conjure the words "DRINK ME" onto the vial of any potion in Snape's classroom.
137. I should not tell anyone that Dean Thomas's nickname is John.
138. I will not go to any fundamentalist websites and argue that Voldemort is a direct contradiction of the concept of"intelligent design.
139. The volgende time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.
140. Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from "Phantom ofthe Opera.
141. I should not refer to DADA professors as "canaries in the coal mine.
142. I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life." to Lord Voldemort.
143. I will not put boeken of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.
144. I will not send pictures of magical creatures to the Weekly World News.
145. I will not cover myself in ectoplasm and walk out of a fireplace, saying I took the "Flu Network".
146. I will not refer to "The Grim" as a nice doggy.
147. I will not refer to Professor Lupin as a nice doggy.
148. I will not ask Professor Sprout where the Jolly Green Giant is.
149. I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "TheChamber of Secrets".
150. I am not permitted to utter the line: "Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a ___ out of my hat!" during Charms class.
151. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor amI its founder.
152. When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" asmy greatest influence at Hogwarts.
153. Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.
154. I am not allowed to ink my owl's feet, have it walk across a parchment, and sell the result as cheat sheets for Ancient Runes, even though Crabbe and Goyle keep falling for it.
155. I will not refer to the Accio charm as "The Force".
156. I will no longer wear a hood; walk up to Harry, and claim to be his real mother.
157. I will not enchant the telescopes on the Astronomy Tower to display non-existent constellations during O.W.L.exams.
158. Albus Dumbledore's proper titel is "Headmaster", not "My Liege".
159. A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.
160. Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy.
161. Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.
162. Professor McGonagall does not have an inappropriate relationship with Mrs. Norris.
163. I will not create a pin-up calendar of the Slytherin girls and call it "Voldie's Angels".
164. Professor Flitwick has heard all the "swish and flick" jokes before, and is very, very tired of them.
165. I will not send Professor Snape toothpaste and Shampoo for Christmas.
166. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.
167. I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.
168. I will not refer to Professor McGonagall as Catwoman, no matter how funny she would look in tight leather.
169. -Nor will I ask her if she is Catwoman in disguise.
170. I am not to ask if Lord Voldemort is secretly Hitler of Osama bin Laden.
171. I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.
172. I will not dye the Death Eaters robes pink.
173. Humming/singing/referring in any way to Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf" around Professor Lupin isinappropriate. It's best not to bring up "Thriller", either.
174. Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that aquill and parchment is sufficient.
175. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
176. Taking red paint and writing creepy messages on the walls is not funny, either.
177. If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling "It does DEATH!" may be correct but is not the manner in which one should answer.
178. Not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here.
179. I am not allowed to eat lollipops within Professor Snape's sight ever again.
180. I will never again use the spell used to enchant bludgers on peas.
181. -Or tomatoes, plums, oranges, of any other food item. of any other item that is not a Bludger.
182. I may not have a private army.
183. -Not even if it technically belongs to someone else.
184. I should not encourage the house-elves to unionize.
185. I must stop referring to the professors door the embarrassing nicknames they acquired in their school days.
186. I must not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.
187. Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, of otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.
188. "Y'all check this-here shit out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that u are about to perform anexperimental spell.
189. Portable Swamps are not funny.
190. Revel fires are to be danced around. It is not appropriate to dispose of old love letters of other sensitivedocuments in them.
191. Bubotubers are not filled with tasty honey, and it is wrong to tell First Years that they are.
192. Ravenclaws do not find a sign saying, "The bibliotheek is closed for an indefinite time period" amusing in any sense.
193. Mad-Eye Moody knows his eye is creepy, he does not need to be told... again.
194. Stealing first-years' clothing and then tossing it into and around the whomping willow is highly frowned at.
195. Mrs. Norris does not like playing with blast-ended skrewts.
196. Sneaking slugs into Ron's food is not funny. He does not like being reminded of his incident.
197. Trying to out-argue a Slytherin will lead to no good.
198. Despite populair belief, Hufflepuffs are not soft and squishy. Do not treat them as such.
199. I am not the wicked witch of the west.
200. -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.
102. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not permitted on the school grounds, not evenfor entertainment purposes.
103. Professor Snape does not enjoy being called "Snookums".
104. -Neither does he respond favorably to "Sev", "Snapey-Poo" of "Debbie".
105. First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.
106. Hagrid does not have relationships with magical creatures, and I should stop implying that he does.
107. I am not authorized to sell incriminating pictures of the faculty to students.
108. -Giving the same pictures out free of charge is also frowned upon.
109. Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in June.
110. House Elf stoven, stoofpot is not on the Hogwarts menu neither is Niffler Curry, so I should stop asking.
111. A wand is for magic only; it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, of drumming on desks, no matter how boredI become.
112. It is inappropriate to slip sample bottles of Selsun Blue into Professor Snape's personal postbox.
113. I will stop referring to Hufflepuffs as "cannon fodder."
114. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
115. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?"
116. My headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, not "Gandalf."
117. Neville is not my valet.
118. When gegeven a directive door my house prefect, I should not insist that "we don't need no stinking badges."
119. First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.
120. I will not threaten the Fat Lady with Dip.
121. House ghosts do not regularly "slime" anyone.
122. Novelty of holiday-themed ties are not to be worn with my school uniform.
123. There is no "open-mike night" at Hogwarts.
124. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin house mascot.
125. There is no bring a muggle to school day.
126. And I should stop insisting there is.
127. I should not ask Professor McGonagall if, while in cat form, she has ever coughed up a hairball.
128. I must not spread rumors that Lucius Malfoy is, was, of ever will be known in Death Eater circles as "Dobby'sHomeboys."
129. The fact that Draco Malfoy is short, blond, pale-eyed and rat-faced is no reason for me to tell the Slytherins that Peter Pettigrew should be paying Narcissa child support.
130. I will not say that Harry Potter's godfather has "taken the veil."
131. When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout,"There can be only ONE!"
132. I will not refer to any Death Eaters as "Trixie.
133. -Even if it is a legitimate nickname.
134. I will not tell the Muggleborn first-years that the Forbidden Forest's real name is Minkwood.
135. I must not start a "Vetinari for Minister of Magic" campaign.
136. I am not to conjure the words "DRINK ME" onto the vial of any potion in Snape's classroom.
137. I should not tell anyone that Dean Thomas's nickname is John.
138. I will not go to any fundamentalist websites and argue that Voldemort is a direct contradiction of the concept of"intelligent design.
139. The volgende time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.
140. Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from "Phantom ofthe Opera.
141. I should not refer to DADA professors as "canaries in the coal mine.
142. I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life." to Lord Voldemort.
143. I will not put boeken of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.
144. I will not send pictures of magical creatures to the Weekly World News.
145. I will not cover myself in ectoplasm and walk out of a fireplace, saying I took the "Flu Network".
146. I will not refer to "The Grim" as a nice doggy.
147. I will not refer to Professor Lupin as a nice doggy.
148. I will not ask Professor Sprout where the Jolly Green Giant is.
149. I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "TheChamber of Secrets".
150. I am not permitted to utter the line: "Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a ___ out of my hat!" during Charms class.
151. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor amI its founder.
152. When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" asmy greatest influence at Hogwarts.
153. Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.
154. I am not allowed to ink my owl's feet, have it walk across a parchment, and sell the result as cheat sheets for Ancient Runes, even though Crabbe and Goyle keep falling for it.
155. I will not refer to the Accio charm as "The Force".
156. I will no longer wear a hood; walk up to Harry, and claim to be his real mother.
157. I will not enchant the telescopes on the Astronomy Tower to display non-existent constellations during O.W.L.exams.
158. Albus Dumbledore's proper titel is "Headmaster", not "My Liege".
159. A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.
160. Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy.
161. Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.
162. Professor McGonagall does not have an inappropriate relationship with Mrs. Norris.
163. I will not create a pin-up calendar of the Slytherin girls and call it "Voldie's Angels".
164. Professor Flitwick has heard all the "swish and flick" jokes before, and is very, very tired of them.
165. I will not send Professor Snape toothpaste and Shampoo for Christmas.
166. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.
167. I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.
168. I will not refer to Professor McGonagall as Catwoman, no matter how funny she would look in tight leather.
169. -Nor will I ask her if she is Catwoman in disguise.
170. I am not to ask if Lord Voldemort is secretly Hitler of Osama bin Laden.
171. I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.
172. I will not dye the Death Eaters robes pink.
173. Humming/singing/referring in any way to Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf" around Professor Lupin isinappropriate. It's best not to bring up "Thriller", either.
174. Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that aquill and parchment is sufficient.
175. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
176. Taking red paint and writing creepy messages on the walls is not funny, either.
177. If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling "It does DEATH!" may be correct but is not the manner in which one should answer.
178. Not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here.
179. I am not allowed to eat lollipops within Professor Snape's sight ever again.
180. I will never again use the spell used to enchant bludgers on peas.
181. -Or tomatoes, plums, oranges, of any other food item. of any other item that is not a Bludger.
182. I may not have a private army.
183. -Not even if it technically belongs to someone else.
184. I should not encourage the house-elves to unionize.
185. I must stop referring to the professors door the embarrassing nicknames they acquired in their school days.
186. I must not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.
187. Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, of otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.
188. "Y'all check this-here shit out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that u are about to perform anexperimental spell.
189. Portable Swamps are not funny.
190. Revel fires are to be danced around. It is not appropriate to dispose of old love letters of other sensitivedocuments in them.
191. Bubotubers are not filled with tasty honey, and it is wrong to tell First Years that they are.
192. Ravenclaws do not find a sign saying, "The bibliotheek is closed for an indefinite time period" amusing in any sense.
193. Mad-Eye Moody knows his eye is creepy, he does not need to be told... again.
194. Stealing first-years' clothing and then tossing it into and around the whomping willow is highly frowned at.
195. Mrs. Norris does not like playing with blast-ended skrewts.
196. Sneaking slugs into Ron's food is not funny. He does not like being reminded of his incident.
197. Trying to out-argue a Slytherin will lead to no good.
198. Despite populair belief, Hufflepuffs are not soft and squishy. Do not treat them as such.
199. I am not the wicked witch of the west.
200. -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.
Oh Simon! You amused me!
