1. Offer him pinda boter samenflansen, zachte toffee that u cooked yourself, and tell him that u named it Cornelius samenflansen, zachte toffee because it’s "nutty." Make sure it’s sticky and overdone.

2. Tell him that limoen, kalk green isn’t really his color, and that he’s really meer of a winter.

3. Offer to take him to the mall to buy him some new clothes in different, meer flattering colors.

4. Try to get him to kom bij a conga line with u and Voldemort and look very hurt if he refuses.

5. Tell him that "Scrimgeour always seemed like so much meer of an authoritative figure."

6. Make up a theme song for him to the tune of "The Brady Bunch" and sing it wherever he goes.

7. Make up flyers containing the printed version of the theme song and hand it out to important Ministry officials.

8. Try to get him to kom bij S.P.E.W., because "elves are people too!"

9. Paint a scar on your forehead and hop around singing, "We were telling the truth! We were telling the truth!" in an annoying, high pitched voice.

10. Give his bowler hat to the giant squid. If he gets mad at you, tell him that u were just trying to toon your care for all species. Make sure to stare at him with big, puppy eyes.