...how in the world did this hit 17 parts?...

~*~*~
    It is an inevitable fact of life that when a woman reaches Lisa’s age, and her vrienden are mostly paired up and settled, those vrienden will attempt to reach out and fix the life of their not-so-fortunate comrades. Well, James was not your typical girlfriend, but he had nevertheless been attempting to get Lisa out on a myriad of dates over the past few years, and had met with nothing but stubborn refusal on the part of Miss Lisa E. That last conversation with Hugh had been the final straw. Maybe a few dates were just what she needed to kick this unfortunate habit she seemed to have picked up.
    “James? It’s me. I—do u want to set me up with someone?”
~*~*~
    Lisa fiddled with her straw and watched the door. James had promised that this guy would be on time, but she had been sitting and enduring many discreet stares for the past ten minutes. Where was he?
    “Lisa?” She looked up. A very tall, very tan, very handsome man was standing door the table, smiling down at her.
    “You must be Dave. It’s nice to meet you.” She stood to shake his hand.
    “I want u to have my children.”
    Lisa blinked twice. The man didn’t even crack a smile. “Ok… I gotta go.”
    “But—”
    Lisa was already half out the door, on her phone to James. “Have u lost your mind?” She hissed, hurrying toward her car. “The guy is absolutely insane!”    
    “Ok, love, listen, I promise—I have some great guys for you. Give us another chance.”
    Lisa leaned against the door of her car, pressing her back against the cool metal. “Ok, fine. But James, please, please do not make me regret this.”
~*~*~
    “Wow, you’re actually a lot better looking on TV!”
~*~*~
    “It is so great to meet you. Honestly, the only thing meer exciting for me would be if I could meet Brad and Angelina… do u know them?”
~*~*~
    “I have seen every show, article, movie, and interview u have ever been in, I regularly fantasize about filling a hot tub with whipped cream and drizzling u with chocolate syrup before rolling around in it together, and my bedroom achtergrond is made up of nothing but pictures of you, chronologically sorted, starting at the light switch and moving around the room.”
    Lisa sighed. “Check, please?” Then her cell phone buzzed with an incoming text. It was James.
    Hows it goin?
    Lisa gave her very best fake smile to the Neanderthal sitting across from her and thumbed at her phone under the table.
    Never. Again.
~*~*~
    Lisa banged her head back against the uithangbord of the hospital hallway set, waiting for Hugh to kom bij her and start the scene. The directors were gathered in a brief meeting door the compliment tables—something about a cane and whether it was time to get a new one, of resurrect the Hell’s Angels model from vorige seasons. Finally Hugh broke away and left them to it, coming over to talk to Lisa before they started.
    “Hey.” He nudged her foot with his own, getting her to open her eyes. “You ok?”
    “I just had the worst datum ever last night,” she muttered, moving aside to make room for him on the bench. “You are so lucky u don’t have to deal with that anymore.”
    “Oh yeah, I’m much better off. Instead of even the slightest possibility of companionship outside of work, I have the dread certainty that I will be going home pagina to an empty house every night, if I go home pagina at all.” Lisa gaped. Hugh never talked like this.
    “Hugh…” she put her hand on his knee. “I’m sorry. Honestly, I wasn’t thinking. Of course it must be so hard for u to be away from… Jo, and the kids…”
    Hugh flinched. “No, no, I don’t want it to sound—this makes meer sense. And it—anyway. Want to tell me about your date?”
    “Dates.” Lisa emphasized the plural. “Every single one of them was a disaster. Maybe there’s just no one out there for me.”
    “Well that’s obviously not true,” Hugh said, leaning his own head back against the wall. “I mean you’re a smart, funny, beautiful woman who—”
    “Who attracts weirdos that come in on the first datum asking me to have their children? of who have taken fanhood to a very unhealthy level? Or, God help me, who share their fantasies regarding a hot tub and whipped cream two minuten after having sat down at the table?”
    Hugh stared at her. “You’re kidding.”
    “Hugh, I can’t make this stuff up. It was hideous.”
    “Tell me meer about the whipped cream.” Lisa stared at him, her jaw dropping even further, if that were possible, until she saw the twinkle in his eyes that he always got when he was teasing her. She burst out laughing, covering her eyes with one hand and shaking her head. “I’m sorry,” he said, putting an arm around her shoulders and hugging her to his side. “You deserve so much better than that.”
    “So do you,” she murmured, then realized what she had implied. “God—I’m sorry, Hugh, I’m just sticking my foot straight into my mouth today. Ignore me.”
    Hugh didn’t say a word, just squeezed her shoulder and sighed, leaning back. Lisa let herself sink back into his arm, closing her eyes again and letting his warmth seep into her until finally, the directors were ready, and it was time again to go to work.
~*~*~

Hmmmmm... that was kind of short. Oh well. Do we prefer short updates meer often of longer updates with a little meer time between? That will be the "book discussion question" for this chapter... lol