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January 1, 2015,

I looked around the hospital room and zei "I'm so glad that I can finally go home! I didn't expect it to take that many days for me to be rehydrated enough to go home!" Kyle zei as we walked out to my truck "what do u think your family is going to say when they find out that you're pregnant with my baby?" I zei "you heard what the doctor zei to me yesterday; I can't be stressed out and I can pretty much guarantee u that a few people in particular are going to raise my stress level once they find out I'm pregnant again! The whole reason I passed out in the first place was because of the pressure that was being put on me! The last thing I need are my uncles and aunt Janet complaining about me being pregnant!!!" Kyle zei "I understand that u don't want to tell them; but u can't hide it forever! Wouldn't u rather them find out from us? Rather than the other option; which is to toon up one dag with a huge stomach and have your water break!" I zei "it's completely up to u whether u want to tell them are not! All I know is that I'm not putting up with their BS because it's not good for me of the baby! u can tell them; just don't do it when I'm around because I really don't want to hear it! I couldn't care less about what they think and I don't feel like they should act like they deserve for their opinions to be heard! They tried to turn grandma against me and my siblings! They kidnapped her and we had no idea where she was! They talk bad about dad in front of all of us and that makes me so angry because all dad ever did for them was basically bend over backwards to make sure that had everything they ever wanted! I don't even really think I want to see them again for as long as I live!" Kyle zei "we really need to stop talking about this because I can tell just doing that is stressing u out babe! Don't worry about telling them that you're pregnant; I'll tell them when you're not around!" I zei "in the meantime, we can at least tell my grandmother, Blanket, Prince, and Paris because I know that they'll be happy for us!" Kyle asked "how are we going to tell Carter?" I zei "give me a few days because I just got out of the hospital and I need to regroup! We can tell him after I get settled back in at home!" Kyle zei "I feel so terrible that u had that much stress on your shoulders! I shouldn't have let Frank put that much pressure on u about going back on tour when u weren't ready to!" I zei "that's not your fault Kyle! I realize that I'm the one that has to bring the money in for us to live off of. I can promise u that a few months after the baby is born I'll be meer than ready to go on tour again because I'll have meer time to prepare my mind to be away from u guys for nine months straight!"

We pulled up in front of my grandmother's house and walked inside. Grandma came up to me and frantically asked "are u okay? What happened? I heard u passed out at your concert!!!" I chuckled and zei "relax grandma; I'm fine!" She zei "sorry; I just feel like I have to compensate for how worried your father would be if he was here!" Paris and Prince came running up to me and Prince zei "I'm so glad you're okay AJ! I was really worried about u when I found out that u passed out!" Paris zei "I know; I was too! The video of u passing out on stage is all over YouTube and the news! I guess one of the fans had a video camera with them and captured the whole thing! u seemed like u to the ground really hard!"

I opened up the doors to the hol, den and gestured for my grandmother and siblings to follow me inside. Grandma zei "whatever happened to u must've been pretty serious for u to want to talk to us alone in here! I don't like the vibe you're putting out AJ; you're worrying me!" Kyle and I sat down on the divan, bank volgende to them and they all looked at us with worried expressions on their faces. We sat there in stunned silence for about five minuten before Kyle burst out and zei "I can't take it anymore; AJ'S PREGNANT!!!" Paris looked at me and zei "wait; I thought u couldn't get her pregnant Kyle! It is Kyle's baby; I hope!" I rolled my eyes and zei "of course it's his baby Paris! I would never cheat on Kyle!" She took a sigh of relief as Prince asked "then how are u pregnant with his baby?" I zei "there was only a 5% chance of him being able to get me pregnant on his own; so we thought the odds of it actually working were pretty much impossible! I guess this is one of those times where someone can say never say never!" Grandma asked "is that why u passed out AJ? Did u know u were pregnant? Were u trying to hide it just so u could go on tour and hope that nobody would find out?" I zei "no; I didn't pass out because of that. I passed out because I was dehydrated from the morning sickness. I didn't know at all that I'm pregnant! I just thought I was throwing up because of nerves. Being pregnant was the last thing on my mind!" She asked "were u and Kyle still trying to get pregnant; even though the doctor zei that there was pretty much your chance of that happening?" I zei "I wouldn't say that we were necessarily trying to get pregnant. It was one of those things where if that happened we wouldn't be opposed to it! Kyle and I pretty much accepted the fact that he would never give us any biological children together! Before this happened, we actually started looking into adopting a child. "Blanket zei "I'm so happy that I'm going to be an uncle again!" Kyle zei "we really appreciate u watching Carter and taking him to school for us while AJ has been in the hospital! Before I forget, I want u guys to help keep AJ's stress level down during the pregnancy because the doctor zei it's not good for the baby!!! The doctors don't really want her doing too much while she's pregnant! She's pretty much on bed rest the entire pregnancy!" Prince laughed and zei "like that's going to happen! AJ has ADHD and is going to be impossible to make her relax for nine months!" Kyle zei "I have a feeling it's going to take all of us for her to follow through with taking it easy; but we have to make it work!"

January 9, 2015,

Carter sat at the edge of his bed watching TV when Kyle and I decided to check on him. I sat down and zei "hi buddy; I bet you're wondering why I didn't go on tour like I zei I was going to!" He zei "yeah; I was just thinking about that! Why didn't u go mommy?" I zei with a smile on my face "you're going to have a little brother of sister soon!" He asked "you and daddy are having a baby together? How come your stomach is not big?" Kyle chuckled and zei "it doesn't get big right away Carter! It'll be a while before u can really tell!" Carter zei "make sure it's a boy because I want a little brother!" I zei "we don't get to pick what it's going to be Carter; it just happens!"

February 3, 2015,

I had just left the bathroom, after waking up early in the morning with morning sickness and I climbed back into bed. Kyle asked "are u sure you're okay?" I zei "yes; I told u it's normal for me to be throwing up!" He zei "if there's anything u ever need from me don't be afraid to ask!" I zei "there is one thing." He asked "what is it?" I zei "I've been craving Chinese food like crazy and I was wondering if u would go get us some?" He looked over at the clock and zei "it's 6 o'clock in the morning and I don't know if any Chinese food places are open this early. I'll go check anyway; just because I love you." I zei "thanks Kyle; I really appreciate it!"

A few hours later, he arrived back at the house and walked up to our bedroom carrying a huge bag of Chinese food. He zei "sorry it took me so long; you're in luck though because I found a 24-hour Chinese food restaurant a few towns over!" I zei "you didn't have to drive that far just to get me the food that I wanted!" He zei "I know; but I wanted to!" He started picked up food out of the bag and sat down on the bed. He zei "I know Damien wasn't here for u last time when u were pregnant with Carter and I want to toon u how a real man is supposed to act!" I zei "you don't really have to treat me any different just because I'm pregnant." He zei "you deserve to be treated like the Queen!" I zei "I know one thing's for sure; I hate being stuck in this bedroom all dag every day!" He zei "it's only been a little over a week and u are already going crazy!" I zei "I don't understand why I have to lay in bed pretty much the entire pregnancy! My ADHD is driving me nuts and I don't know how much of this I can take!" He zei "I know that it seems like it sucks right now; but it'll be worth it once u see the baby for the first time!" I zei "I know you're right; I just hope that I can keep my stress level down enough to where it doesn't affect the baby!" He zei "I'll do everything I can to make sure that u relax as much as possible until the baby is born! Don't worry about anything because I've got it under control!"

February 23, 2015,

"I can't believe we're having a baby girl!" Kyle zei as we walked in the house after going to the doctors. I zei "I'm so glad it's a girl because after this I'm done being pregnant! I don't want any meer kids!" Kyle zei "we have our son and our daughter and that's good enough for me!" I sat down on the divan, bank and Kyle zei "since I wasn't around when u named Carter, u should let me name her on my own! At least the first name!" I zei "I don't know if u can handle that Kyle! It would be different if we were having a boy; but u have to remember that whatever name we name our daughter she is going to be stuck with for the rest of her life! I don't want her to have a stupid name!" He zei "the name I picked out isn't that bad! How about if I give her the name I picked out for her first name and u can pick out whatever u want for her middle name?" I asked "what name did u pick out for her first name Kyle?" He zei "Addison." I raised my eyebrows and zei "actually, I like it! Okay: u win! We can name her Addison!"

I grabbed the baby book off the tafel, tabel and started to flip through the pages. I stopped and zei out loud "Addison Avery; how does that sound to you?" He zei "I really like that!" I zei "I guess her names going to be Addison Avery Lester; that was easier than I thought it would be!" Kyle zei "speaking of names; I've always wondered why u didn't change your last name to Lester when u and I got married." I zei "it's not that I didn't want to; but part of my celebrity image is my last name and if I changed it that would probably affect my fans! I've been known as Alanna Jackson door the public for so long that it would be awkward if I changed my last name." He zei "that's okay; I understand! I was just always curious. It doesn't really matter to me whether of not u have my last name!"

April 15, 2015,

Kyle was gone go shopping and I was up in my room when the phone rang. I answered it and the person on the other end zei "excuse me; I'm looking for Miss Jackson." I zei "this is her." She responded "hello; I'm the principal at your son Carter's school." I asked "is everything okay?" She zei "no; not really. Carter's been suspended and I need u to come pick him up." I zei "suspended; what can u possibly suspend a first grader for doing?" She zei "Carter was using foul language in front of the other children and inside his classroom. He was told several times not to say the things he was saying; but he just continued on." I zei as I sighed "okay; I'll be there in a few minuten to pick him up."

Even though I knew I wasn't supposed to be walking around much, I had to go pick up Carter because Kyle was gone. After driving to the school, I climbed out of my truck and walked inside. I walked down to the principal's office and the secretary let me into the room. I casually walked in and Carter looked up at me with shame in his eyes. I looked at the principal and zei as I grabbed Carter's arm "I'm sorry for the inconvenience. I assure u that it won't happen again." She zei "he suspended for a week of school. I'll see u then."

After Carter and I got into the truck, he looked at me in silence and I looked at him and he zei "please don't tell daddy mommy!" I asked "what did u say in your classroom that got u in trouble?" He zei "I told the teacher to shut the fuck up because she wouldn't stop complaining about my handwriting! Please don't tell daddy!" I rolled my eyes and zei "don't worry; I won't because I know how it feels to get into trouble and I'm not the type of parent that's going to punish you. It's no big deal; I'll figure something out so daddy doesn't suspect anything weird going on!"

When we pulled into the driveway, Kyle had already gotten home pagina and had parked his car volgende to my parking spot. The two of us walked inside and Kyle asked "where have u been AJ? u know you're not supposed to be out of bed! Why is Carter with you?" I zei while thinking quickly "you must've forgotten that today starts April break for Carter! He doesn't have school for a whole week." Kyle zei "I've been so busy making sure that you're okay AJ that I must've forgotten all about it!" As Kyle walked away, Carter gave me a secretive high-five and zei "thanks for covering for me mommy!"

April 21, 2015,

I'm running out of things to do to keep myself busy because Kyle won't let me do anything other than stay up here in our bedroom all dag every day! I decided to have him bring some of my childhood home pagina films for us to watch together. He put one of the films in the VCR and pressed play:

Dated at the bottom of the screen January 5, 2005,

I was holding the camera and laughing hysterically as dad attempted to skateboard; but he could barely stand up on it. He zei "I don't know about this AJ! It doesn't look safe! I don't know how u do this! It's moving around too much for me!" I zei "dad; come on! You're being such a wimp! Once u get the hang of it, you'll be fine; trust me! It's not as hard as it looks!" He hopped off skateboard and zei "I'll stick to dancing. I'm afraid that if I keep trying to skateboard on that thing I will crack my head open!" I zei "you're going to be missing out; that's all I have to say about it." He zei "all I know about skateboarding is that I better not catch u without your helm on!" I zei "yeah, yeah, yeah; I know dad! u don't have to give me a lecture!" He zei "it may seem like I'm nagging you; but you'll thank me later!"

*Video ends*

I immediately started crying and Kyle asked "is it the pregnancy mood swings again?" I zei "my dad was supposed to be here! He shouldn't have died! Being pregnant again only makes me miss him meer because it reminds me of how much he did for me when I was pregnant with Carter!" Kyle zei "I wish there was something I could do to make u feel better! If u don't want to watch anymore videos we don't have to." I zei "I don't think I could handle watching another video with him in it. It's just too much for me to handle! I don't understand why I was just so mean to him when all he ever wanted was to make me a good person! I just keep going back to the dag when I pretty much ditched him with Carter to go get drunk with some of my friends! I'll be the first to admit that I wasn't a good mom at all of the beginning! My dad pretty much took care of him on his own while I slept all dag and drank all night! I hate to say it; but if my dad wasn't around to take care of Carter those last few months before he passed away I don't think I would have Carter today! He would probably be in the foster care system because I wouldn't have taken care of him! Looking back on it now, I treated my dad like a personal babysitter and I should have appreciated everything that he's done for me over the years! It wasn't fair to him! He didn't want to be a dad again and basically he was because I wasn't taking care of my son!" Kyle zei "you really need to stop beating yourself up for that! That happened a long time geleden and u heard what the psychic said! Your dad forgives u and he doesn't want u to feel guilty about stuff that happened before he died!" I zei "I just don't understand why he had to die when I was only 15 years old and a teenage mother on top, boven of that! He left me at the worst possible time and I wasn't at all prepared for the reality of how the real world worked! Anytime I ever got in trouble before, he would come to my rescue and now he isn't here anymore to protect me from how awful the world can be!" Kyle zei "I know that if he had the choice to stay alive he would still be here! He even told u through the psychic that he wasn't ready to leave this world!" I zei "I would do anything just to hug him one meer time!"

April 25, 2015,

Kyle came and asked with irritation in his voice "how long were u planning to lie to me?" I asked "what do u mean?" He zei "Carter's school just called and asked me if we wanted someone to drop off the school work he's missed this week!" I zei "I knew u would overreact and punish Carter from getting suspended! That's the whole reason I lied to u in the first place!" He zei "I don't want this to turn into a fight because it's not good for u of the baby. All I'm saying is that if u don't start punishing him soon for misbehaving it will only get worse." I zei "I realized that Kyle; but what he did wasn't that bad! I've done way worse when I was seven years old!"

Kyle called Carter into our bedroom and Kyle asked "how come u didn't tell me that u got suspended from school?" Carter zei "mommy zei it was no big deal! u just need to mind your own business daddy!” My eyes widened in shock door what had just come out of my son’s mouth. I zei "don't talk to your dad like that Carter." Kyle just rolled his eyes in disbelief as Carter walked out of the room.

May 3, 2015,

Kyle came out of Carter's bedroom and zei "I took the video game out of his room." I asked "why did u do that?" He zei "because his teacher just called and he's been suspended again." I asked "what did he do this time?" Kyle zei "he ran off of school grounds during recess and the teacher couldn't find him!" I zei "maybe we should just take him out of school and start homeschooling him." Kyle zei "that's not going to fix the problem AJ! What he really needs is for one of us to discipline him and since u won't let me do it you're going to have to!" I zei "disciplining him isn't going to make a difference. I don't see it as a big deal because the teachers found him. I'm not going to discipline him for that Kyle!" Kyle zei with irritation in his voice "so you're just going to leave me to pick up the pieces when you're gone on tour? I'll have to deal with him and a newborn baby all on my own; the way things are going he's going to be out of control door the time u leave! The principal zei she would drop him off for us because I can't trust u to stay in bed like you're supposed to!"

Before long, Carter walked through the door and Kyle looked at me; expecting me to do something. I walked Carter into his room and shut the door behind us. I sat down on the bed volgende to him and zei "I can't believe u walked off of school grounds Carter!" He zei "whatever" and flopped backwards onto the bed. I zei "it's not whatever Carter! Nobody knew where u were and u could have gotten hurt! Someone could've hurt u of kidnapped you! Do u know how sad your dad and I would have been if we lost you?" Carter chuckled and zei "I was only gone for a few minuten mommy!" I zei sternly "I don't find this funny at all and u will be punished!" Carter zei "yeah right; u wouldn't do that!" I asked "you want to bet?"

I removed the mounted flatscreen TV off of the uithangbord and walked out of the room. Once Carter realized what I was doing, he ran up to me and kicked me in my stomach right in front of Kyle. That's when Kyle flipped out! He shouted "DID u JUST KICK YOUR MOTHER IN THE STOMACH?" Carter immediately started crying at the sound of Kyle raising his voice at him because he's never done that before. I zei "whoa Kyle; chill out! He's only seven!" Kyle zei "go to your room Carter!" Carter ran off to his room and slammed the door.

Kyle asked frantically "are u okay? I can't believe he kicked u in your stomach; you're pregnant!" I zei "I know you're scared for the baby; but that doesn't give u any excuse to scream at Carter like that! u saw his face; he was terrified of u and still is! I didn't expect u to traumatize him like that! He's never been exposed to that sort of reaction before! I don't appreciate u acting like that towards him and I think u should apologize to him! That was totally uncalled for!"

Kyle felt terrible as he walked into Carter's bedroom and saw him hysterically crying on his bed. Kyle knelt down volgende to him and zei "I didn't mean to scare u Carter. I'm sorry buddy! u just can't kick mommy in the stomach like that because it could've hurt the baby. That's the only reason why I screamed at you; but I won't do it again because I know it was wrong!" Carter sat up and zei "that was really scary how your face turned red!"

Kyle decided to leave the room because he was feeling awful and I think he actually wanted to cry. I sat down on the bed and looked around the room. I proceeded to give my son a lecture; which is something I thought I would never do. I zei "if your behavior doesn't get better soon I'm going to start making u go to school at home; like I had originally planned." Carter zei "but u can't do that because I have so many friends! I love going to school!" I zei "if I want to do that than I have the right as your mother to do so." Carter asked eagerly "if I say I'm sorry for getting suspended from school and kicking u do I get my TV back?" I zei "yes; a week from now! Nice try though!"

I shut Carter's bedroom door after setting him up with a game on my laptop. I stood outside the doorway and slid my back down the uithangbord as I sat down on the ground. Kyle came over with tears in his eyes and sat down volgende to me. He put his arm around me and zei "I'm so sorry AJ! I never intended to scream at him like that! I guess I just got caught up in the moment and overreacted!" I stared off into space and Kyle asked "what's wrong?" I zei softly under my breath "I just realized how much I sounded like my dad when I was punishing Carter just now. Oh my God; that's freaking me out! I sounded exactly like he did when he was punishing me!" Kyle laughed and zei "I bet u never thought in 1 million years that u would lecture your son just like your dad did with u for 15 years!"

May 13, 2015,

I was going through some old stuff in the attic while Carter looked through some boxes for something to play with. He came across a book and passed it to me. I asked "what's this buddy?" He zei "I don't know; but it has your name on it. I looked at the front cover of what appeared to be a foto album with the words "daddy's little tomboy" written in marker across the top.

Carter sat on my lap as I started to flip through the pages. He pointed to a picture of dad and I in the swimming pool and asked "who is that? Why are they in our swimming pool?" I zei as I chuckled "that's me when I was your age and your Papa!" He asked with a puzzled look on his face "why are u guys in our swimming pool?" I zei "this is where I grew up Carter! My daddy raised me here just like daddy and I are raising u here!" Carter joked "you grew up mommy? u still act like a big kid!" I smiled and zei "yeah; I guess I really didn't grow up after all!"

As we looked at the various photos, Carter asked "what was your daddy like?" I just sat there in silence for what felt like forever trying to process what he had just asked me. I zei as a single tear ran down my face "he was the best daddy ever!" He asked "why are u crying mommy?" I zei "it's okay to cry." I wiped my tear filled eyes as Carter asked "do u have any good stories u can tell me about Papa?" I moved the two of us off of the ground and sat down with Carter still on my lap in a really comfortable reclining chair. I zei "plenty of good stories!" Carter asked "can u tell me some of them?" I zei "of course I will!"

I started door saying "I remember one time when I was almost 3 when your Papa took me to Disneyland right before uncle Prince was born. It was only the seconde time I ever remember going to Disneyland and I remember that I was scared of Mickey Mouse. I wouldn't let go of your Papa's leg and was screaming at the top, boven of my lungs! Then he would whisper in my ear and tell me that everything was going to be okay! That he would never let anything happen to me! That there was nothing to be afraid of because he was there to protect me!" I started crying hysterically with Carter still on my lap as I recalled those exact words coming out of my father's mouth.

I moved Carter off of my lap and said" I'm sorry Carter; I can't talk about him anymore! I'll be back in a few minutes. Why don't u go watch TV in your room for a while? I'm going to go to my room. Carter zei "I'm sorry I made u cry mommy."

I ran up to our bedroom just as Kyle was getting dressed and collapsed onto the bed in a mess of emotions that Kyle had never witnessed coming from me before. He lay down volgende to me and asked "oh my God; what's wrong babe?" I started hyperventilating and forced out of the words "I think – I'm having – a panic – attack!" He zei "just take deep breaths; calm down!" I zei "I can't do this without my dad!" Kyle asked "you can't do what without your dad?" I zei "I can't live life without him!" He zei "yes u can! You've been doing pretty good!" I zei "he was supposed to be there for all of this! We got married and he wasn't physically there! I'm going to be having another baby and he won't even get to meet Addison! Carter doesn't even know really who his grandfather is; even though I tried so hard to keep his memory alive. I guess I just don't want to let my dad go! I can't be at peace with him being gone! Okay; I admit it! I needed him and I still need him! I JUST WANT MY DADDY; THAT'S ALL I WANT! I JUST WANT HIM TO HOLD ME! I KNOW I'M 21 YEARS OLD; BUT I JUST WANT HIM TO HOLD ME LIKE I'M FIVE YEARS OLD AGAIN AND NEVER LET GO! I don't miss my dad; I MISS MY DADDY! The daddy that tucked me into bed every night; even when I was a teenager he still did that! The daddy that always told me that he loved me; no matter what I did! The daddy that cut my food for me when I was little! The daddy that tied my shoes for me and then spent hours teaching me how to tie them on my own! The daddy that consoled me when I woke up in the middle of the night because of a bad dream! The daddy that wiped my –." Kyle widened his eyes with an awkward look on his face and zei "I can see where this is going!" I burst out laughing and zei "I was going to say nose!" Kyle breathed sigh of relief and zei "oh thank God!" I zei as I chuckled "I'm not excluding what u thought as a possibility when I was younger he did do that; when I was a toddler! Anyway; my point is that I realized that I don't miss my dad at all! Who I really miss is my daddy! The sad thing is that I pushed my daddy away a long time ago; when he was still alive! He would always try to reconnect with me after I turned into a teenager; but I didn't want to spend any time with him!"

Kyle moved me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me. He zei "I know that I'll never be as good as Michael was; but I'm not going anywhere! Everything is going to be okay and u can do this! We can do this! You're not alone!"

September 22, 2015,

I shook Kyle out of the deep sleep he was in and zei "it's time Kyle!" He asked as he yawned "time for me to get u some meer food?" I zei "no; it's time for u to take me to the hospital! I woke up a few minuten geleden to go to the bathroom and my water broke when I got back into bed."

Kyle immediately jumped out of bed and zei "oh my God! What are we going to do with Carter?" I zei "my brother’s phone number is on speed dial and I already told him to be prepared to come over here and watch Carter if this happened in the middle of the night. Don't worry; I already called him and he's on his way. Actually, I think he just pulled into the driveway.

Kyle did something that I definitely wasn't expecting. He picked me up and cradled me in his arms as he ran out the door. Prince asked as he chuckled "what the heck are u carrying AJ for Kyle? Her water broke; she's not paralyzed!" Kyle zei frantically "there's no time to talk; we're having a baby anytime now!" Kyle practically threw the house keys out of the car window as we sped down the road. Kyle asked "are u okay? The baby isn't coming yet is it?" I zei "don't worry; she's not going anywhere unless I start pushing." Kyle zei "whatever u do; please don't push! I don't want to be another news story about a father her delivers his baby on the side of the road!" I zei "calm down Kyle; I'm meer calm than u are and I'm in a lot of pain!" He zei "sorry; I'm just excited and nervous all at once!"

After a nurse took us to a hospital room, we sat there waiting for the doctor to come in. After she arrived, she zei "oh my God; this baby is going to come out any seconde now! u didn't start pushing yet; did you?" I zei "no; why?" She zei "the baby's head in already all the way out! I have a feeling you're only going to need to push once! I was going to offer u the epidural; but there's no time!" I zei as I recalled the tremendous pain I was in from giving birth to Carter without the epidural "I don't want to do this without some sort of numbing medication!" She zei "you don't really have a choice at this point! We just have to get this baby out as soon as possible! Trust me; it's not going to be as bad as the first time because all u need is push a little bit and the baby will be out."

Sure enough, without even really trying; our daughter was brought into this world. Kyle looked over and zei "she has my hair; she's pretty much bald though.” One of the nurses passed her to Kyle and he started to cry as he looked down at her. He brought her up to me and zei "here's our little miracle baby! Addison Avery Lester." I took her out of his arms and zei "I can't believe u and I created something so beautiful together!" The Doctor zei "she seems really healthy; u can go home pagina with her today if u want to!"

After signing a release form, Kyle and I walked out to his car and he started trying to figure out how to install the car seat. I chuckled as he tangled himself up with the seatbelt in the back zitplaats, stoel and zei "I thought u would've practiced this a few times; before we brought her home!" He zei "I think I figured it out; go ahead." I buckled her into the car zitplaats, stoel after sitting down volgende to it and Kyle started the car.

I zei "I have a feeling that Carter will be sleeping still; door the time we get back to the house. It's 3 o'clock in the morning and I don't think we shouldWake him up." Kyle zei "Prince must've woken him up because I can see him through the windows in front of the house and he's watching TV."

Kyle walked behind me while he carried the car zitplaats, stoel with Addison inside it. Carter waited patiently while Prince took his niece over to him. Carter held Addison for a lot longer than I expected him to. He zei "I'm so excited that I'm a big brother!" I zei "that means you're going to have to help take care of Addison with daddy while I'm on tour starting in a few months. That reminds me of something; Kyle when are u going to start decorating Paris's old bedroom into the nursery for Addison?" He zei "Addison can stay in our room until after u leave on tour and that way it can be a surprise for u when u get home. Trust me; it'll be worth the wait! I'm going to make the most perfect nursery anyone could ever imagine for my little girl! In the meantime, let's appreciate the last four months before u leave on your tour because after that I'm going to be taking care of two kids all on my own for nine months straight. Surprisingly, I'm looking vooruit, voorwaarts to it!"
posted by paloma97ppb
She's lookin for a job and a finer place to stay,
She's lookin for the hope in the empty promising,
She's workin two jobs, keepin alive,
She works in a restaurant night and day
She waits her life away
She wipes the tears away

She cries inside every time she feels this way,
And she’s dying inside every time her baby cries, no

Keepin your head up to the sky,
Keepin your mind just stay alive,
Keepin your wings so we can fly,
(Keep your head up tonight)

Keepin your head up to the sky,
And we can just rise up tell me now,
Gimme your wings so we can fly,

Giving up the life of the birds in the trees
And we’re...
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The mega-lawyer who successfully defended Michael Jackson in his molestation case is coming out swinging at Dr. Murray's defense team -- blaming MJ's death squarely on Murray because the singer was "not suicidal."


Thomas Mesereau went on MSNBC today -- and stated, "The defense lawyers have to do something and what they're gonna try and do is reflect attention away from their client and onto Michael Jackson."

He adds, "The reality is Michael Jackson was not suicidal, he was not self-destructive in the way they're trying to say, and hopefully their defense will not succeed."

For the record, Mesereau's "suicidal" statement is not accurate -- because according to our sources, the defense will argue that Michael MAY have accidentally killed himself after trying to self-administer Propofol ... but he was not suicidal.

Perhaps Mesereau's strongest commentaar -- "I'm sorry that the defense is going to have to bash Michael Jackson to try and divert attention from their guilty client."
The prosecutor in the Michael Jackson manslaughter preliminary hearing -- which begins tomorrow -- will not call Michael's eldest son, Prince Michael, to testify about what he saw the dag his dad died ... sources tell TMZ.



Dr. Conrad Murray has zei after administering CPR he ran downstairs and asked the chef to send up Prince Michael, who saw his dad's lifeless body lying in the bed.

In fact, we're told no one from MJ's family will be called to the stand during the prelim.

As TMZ first reported, prosecutors plan to call 30 witnesses during the 2-week prelim ... many of whom will be medical professionals offering opinions about the standard of care administered door Dr. Murray.

There will be no "star witness" in the prelim. Sources tell us the various witnesses will form building blocks, making the case that Dr. Murray acted recklessly door administering Propofol and other drugs to Jackson the dag he died.
 toon some respect door him. Let's say NO.
Show some respect by him. Let's say NO.
Discovery Channel will broadcast 13 January 2011 a documentary on events surrounding the death of the singer, Michael Jackson.

Based on the authopsy’s meld and court documents, the film will toon a reproduction of the body of the ster in every detail. The documentary aims to follow a doctor who will dissect the body and reveal the true reasons for his death door spreading rumors about his addiction of his skin condition.

Like any other human being on this earth, Michael Jackson is entitled to a minimum of decency and respect. Over the months, media accumulate abuse and act as low as before....
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The owners of the Neverland Ranch -- the former home pagina of Michael Jackson -- want to turn the property into a teenage muziek haven.


TMZ has learned Colony Capital wants to develop a business plan to turn Neverland into a small muziek institute -- similar to The Juilliard School in NYC. The plan is to teach teens all aspects of music, including writing and performing.

Colony wants to turn the property into a campus, in which scores of teenagers -- rich and poor -- can learn the trade that made Michael Jackson a legend.

There are two big stumbling blocks. The first is making sure Santa Barbara County will sign off on such a project.

The seconde -- and bigger issue -- is whether Colony Capital can use Michael Jackson's name to promote such an institute. TMZ has good news for Colony .... sources directly connected with the Michael Jackson Estate tell us, "It's an interesting idea and we'd be open to it."
posted by MJangellover
All alone wishing on stars
Waiting for u to find me
One sweet night I knew I would see
A stranger who'd be my friend

When someone in the dark reaches out to you
And touches off a spark that comes shining through
It tells u never be afraid
Then somewhere in your hart-, hart u can feel the glow
A light to keep u warm when the night winds blow
Like it was written in the stars I knew
My friend, my someone in the dark was you

Promise me we'll always be
Walking the world together
Hand in hand where dreams never end
My ster secret friend and me

When someone in the dark reaches out to you
And touches off a spark that comes shining through
It tells u never be afraid
Then somewhere in your hart-, hart u can feel the glow
A light to keep u warm when the night winds blow
Look for the regenboog in the sky
I believe u and I
Could never really say goodbye
Wherever u may be
I'll look up and see
Someone in the dark for me
Wherever u may be
I'll look up and see
Someone in the dark for me
Not that we're trying to flatter ourselves, but don't people in Bahrain get TMZ?


AQ Business Consultants has filed a petition in the Michael Jackson Estate case, asking the judge for permission to belatedly file a creditor's claim, on grounds it didn't know there was a time in asking for money.

AQ claims it helped Michael refinance $320,000,000 in loans, for which it was entitled to a $3.2 million fee. AQ claims it's still owed $1.2 mil.

The deadline for filing a claim has passed, but AQ claims it didn't get proper notice.

Howard Weitzman, the lawyer for the Estate, tells TMZ, "I don't believe the claim has any merit but they're late in filing regardless."

But here's the thing ... TMZ is big in Bahrain, so what's the deal?
Katherine Jackson told Oprah Winfrey ... it was Dr. Conrad Murray himself who broke the news that Michael Jackson was dead.

1108_katherine_jackson_oprah_video
On an episode of "Oprah" airing today, Katherine explained how everyone at the hospital was reluctant to tell her what happened to her son.

She says Dr. Murray took so long in explaining things ... she had to cut him off, saying, "'Well, what happened? How is he? Did he make it?' And he said, 'No, he's gone.'"

See also

* Katherine Jackson's Partner -- My Bad!
* Katherine Jackson's Partner Backtracks on 'New' Song
* Rift in Michael Jackson's Family Over Song
t appears Katherine Jackson is going to do what Oksana Grigorieva couldn't ... appear on "The Oprah Winfrey Show."


Production trucks have arrived at the Jackson family compound in Encino along with two black SUVs. Members of the production crew told TMZ they are there for "an Oprah shoot."

A security guard told TMZ Oprah will not be tonen up ... so this could be filming for an introductory segment of the show.

No word on what the interview might be about ... but we're guessing the words Michael and Jackson will be used often.

UPDATE 5:10 PM PT -- No one has left yet, but there has been a visitor ... the Domino's pizza delivery guy!

UPDATE 6:23 PM PT -- The production trucks are getting a parking ticket. Put it on Oprah's tab.

UPDATE 6:39 PM PT -- The two SUVs have taken off and the production crew has begun to load equipment. Looks like it's a wrap.
Dr. Conrad Murray won't just face the judge in his manslaughter case on Monday -- we're told an army of MJ fans plans a little surprise of its own ... in the protest department.



A rep for Justice4MJ -- the fan group planning the demonstration -- tells TMZ that scores of Jackson fans plan to attend ... and it's all going down on the freeway overpass near the L.A. courthouse.

We're told when the hearing ends ... the protesters plan to march from the courthouse -- then quickly spleet, split for the overpasses as Murray makes his exit. They will bid Dr. Murray adieu as he drives off -- probably not in the friendliest of ways.

But we're guessing the protest is the least of Dr. Murray's worries.
The company suing the Michael Jackson estate for $300 million over the Jackson family concert that never took place just got two strikes against it, and the pitcher was a federal judge.


The judge on Tuesday threw out two of the three claims AllGood Entertainment filed against the estate, AEG and Frank Dileo.

The suit claims Dileo, MJ's alleged former manager, made a deal with AllGood that Michael would perform at a Jackson Family concert before doing any other gigs. door launching the London series of concerts, AllGood claims Jackson breached his deal and cost AllGood a bundle.

But a federal judge ruled AllGood's claim for fraud and tortious interference (i.e., intermeddling) was bogus. All that is left of the lawsuit is a breach of contract claim.

The estate claims Dileo never had authority to make a deal with AllGood.
posted by 2468244
We pray for our fathers, pray for our mothers
Wishing our families well
We sing songs for the wishing, of those who are kissing
But not for the missing

So this one’s for all the lost children
This one’s for all the lost children
This one’s for all the lost children, wishing them well
And wishing them home

When u sit there addressing, counting your blessings
Biding your time
When u lay me down sleeping my hart-, hart is weeping
Because I’m keeping a place

For all the lost children
This is for all the lost children
This one’s for all the lost children, wishing them well
And wishing them home

Home with...
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posted by 2468244
Well, well
Well, well
If I could tear down these walls that keep u and I apart
I know I could claim your hart-, hart and our perfect love will start
But girl u just won’t approve of the things that I do
When all I do is for u but still u say it ain’t cool

If there’s somebody else, he can’t love u like me
And he, and he says he’ll treat u well, he can’t treat u like me
And he’s buying diamonds and pearls, he can’t do it like me
And he’s taking u all across the world, he can’t trick u like me

So why ain’t u feelin’ me, she’s invincible
I can’t do anything, she’s...
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posted by 2468244
u may now apply (You may now apply
Your 3D glasses (Your 3D glasses)
As we proceed (Prepare to proceed)
2000 watts (2000 watts), 2000 watts (2000 watts)
2000 watts (2000 watts), 2000 watts (2000, 2,000 watts)
2000 watts (2000 watts), 2000 watts (2000 watts)
2000 watts (2000 watts), 2000 watts (2000, 2,000-Lo)

Bass note, treble, stereo control, how low u go
It’s just enough to make all of your juices flow
Press play, don’t stop, rotate, too hot
You feel I’m real
I’m everything u need, so tell me what’s the deal

2000 watts (2000), 8 ohms, 200 volts, real strong
Too much of that, fuse blown...
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posted by 2468244
Ow
As he came into the window
Was the sound of a crescendo
He came into her apartment
He left the bloodstains on the carpet
She ran underneath the table
He could see she was unable
So she ran into the bedroom
She was struck down, it was her doom

Annie are u ok
So, Annie are u ok
Are u ok, Annie
Annie are u ok
So, Annie are u ok
Are u ok, Annie
Annie are u ok
So, Annie are u ok
Are u ok, Annie
Annie are u ok
So, Annie are u ok
Are u ok, Annie

Annie are u ok
Will u tell us, that you’re ok
There’s a sign in the window
That a struck u - a crescendo Annie
He came into your apartment
Left...
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Where did u come from baby
And ooh won’t u take me there
Right away won’t u baby
Tender only you’ve got to be
Spark my nature
Sugar fly with me

Don’t u know now
Is the perfect time
We can make it right
Hit the city lights
Then tonight ease the lovin’ pain
Let me take u to the max

I want to love u (P.Y.T.)
Pretty young thing
You need some lovin’ (T.L.C.)
Tender lovin’ care
And I’ll take u there, girl, ooh

I want to love u (P.Y.T.)
Pretty young thing
You need some lovin’ (T.L.C.)
Tender lovin’ care
And I’ll take u there
(Anywhere u wanna go)
Yes I will, ooh

Nothin’ can stop...
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posted by 2468244
Ow… ow
I took my baby
On a Saturday bang
Boy is that girl with you
Yes we’re one and the same

Now I believe in miracles
And a miracle
Has happened tonight, he

But if
You’re thinkin’
About my baby
It don’t matter if you’re
Black of white
Woo

They print my message
In the Saturday sun
I had to tell them
I ain’t seconde to none

And I told about equality
And it’s true
Either you’re wrong
Or you’re right, he

But if
You’re thinkin’
About my baby
It don’t matter if you’re
Black of white, he
He, he

I am tired of this devil
I am tired of this stuff
I am tired of this business
Girl when the
Going get rough...
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Dr. Conrad Murray had requested lifesaving equipment and back-up help for Michael Jackson from the promoter of the London concerts -- AEG -- but the company never came through, according to a new complaint filed door Joe Jackson.


TMZ broke the story -- Joe was gunning for AEG door filing complaints with the California Medical Board and another agency, alleging the concert promoter abused Jackson in a way that led to his death -- and he's just filed with the Medical Board.

Joe claims days before Jackson's death Murray had requested a hart-, hart resuscitation machine and a nurse in several e-mails making the request, but AEG never provided it.

According to the complaint, Joe is accusing AEG of co-opting Murray's medical judgment door enticing him with a huge salary -- in effect engaging in the "unlawful practice of corporate medicine."

Besides the CPR machine, Murray also asked for saline, catheters, needles and a gurney.

AEG and Murray had no comment.
TMZ has learned tons of Michael Jackson fans are descending upon MJ's tomb on the 1-year anniversary of his death -- even though they've been banned from the mausoleum.

As we previously reported, Forest Lawn Cemetery -- where Jackson is entombed -- claims they've adopted a new policy in which security is instructed to remove anyone hanging out in front of the King of Pop's mausoleum.

But a rep for Justice4MJ -- the fan group organizing the mass pilgrimage -- tells TMZ they are "absolutely" still going to visit the singer's burial place on the big dag .. June 25th.

A rep for Forest Lawn tells us they have not yet figured out how they plan to handle the MJ anniversary ... but they will work with the Jackson family and abide door their wishes.

As for the MJ fans, one member of the group tells us, "Nothing will stop us from being with MJ on the 25th!"
posted by Tabbs
"Smooth Criminal"

As He Came Into The Window
It Was The Sound Of A Crescendo
He Came Into Her Apartment
He Left The Bloodstains On The Carpet
She Ran Underneath The Table
He Could See She Was Unable
So She Ran Into The Bedroom
She Was Struck Down, It Was Her Doom

Annie Are u OK
So, Annie Are u OK
Are u OK, Annie
Annie Are u OK
So, Annie Are u OK
Are u OK, Annie
Annie Are u OK
So, Annie Are u OK
Are u OK, Annie
Annie Are u OK
So, Annie Are u OK,
Are u OK, Annie

(Annie Are u OK)
(Will u Tell Us That You're OK)
(There's A Sign In The Window)
(That He Struck You-A Crescendo Annie)
(He Came Into...
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