My Little pony Friendship is Magic Club
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
After breakfast I drive out of Sweet appel, apple acres. I planned to go check out Canterlot, perhaps stay there for a few hours, and go check out the train station. Mobius never had trains because we didn't need them. I planned on changing that, and maybe having my own private rail line. I would let some people on if i wanted, but if I didn't know who a person was that wanted to get on my train line, they would be dead. As I think about trains my car runs out of gas. It was a good thing I came prepared, having 3 canisters of gasoline in the trunk, because there were no gas stations in Equestria. If I ran out of gas, I could try and make my car solar powered, of electric. Something that didn't use gas. While filling the car up, I get a hunch that someone is watching me. I look around and see a white unicorn with a purple mane. I forget who it is, but once she speaks I ultimately remember. It was Rarity, "Are u Sean the Hedgehog?" she asks with a british accent. "Yes. I suppose u have something to tell me," I tell her. "I want to thank u for saving my sister Sweetie Belle. I don't know what I would do without her," Rarity exclaims. Once she finished talking I soon say, "I don't see why people would bully Sweetie Belle. She seems nice." Rarity then mumbles about appeldrank, applejack taking her to rodeos. As I finish putting gas in my car, I then ask, "who are those two that bully Sweetie Belle and her friends? I know one wears a crown like she's some queen, and the other wears glasses, and has some spoon for a cutie mark." Rarity had no idea, but we would call them Queen Asshole, (because she wore a crown, and she was annoying) and Silver Spoon. "Do u want to come inside?" Rarity asks. I soon find out that I ended up in front of Rarity's house. Sweetie Belle was still with her friends, but how did she tell Rarity? Unless someone was watching me I didn't know. Eventually I'm in Rarity's house, and we have a drink while working on dresses. Usually I don't work on clothing, especially girl clothing, but I didn't want to be rude to my host. Besides she liked my ideas, one of the dresses we made were red and blue. After finishing, we talk about what muziek we liked and about a few ponies. When we were about to talk about Queen Asshole, she barged in with Silver Spoon, and Twilight Sparkle door her side (Twilight had Spike with her). "YOU!" Silver spoon shouts pointing at me, "You could have killed me after what u did!" I get ready to make the burn, "Maybe if u weren't an arrogant teef I wouldn't have thrown u into a tree." I soon run out of the house at 200 mph, pushing Twilight out of my way. After getting back up Twilight looked At Rarity with rage, "Who was that guy?" she asked. Before Rarity could answer Queen Asshole, and her "gang" heard my car start up, and as they turned around they saw me drive off. The four of them soon dash off into a hot air balloon to pursue me. As I drive away I think about what to do with the three ponies, and dragon (good thing it was a baby dragon) behind me. I had three choices of weaponry, a machine gun, a .44 magnum, and a mini uzi. The machine gun was pointed at the back window, so if anyone broke it, I could use the machine gun to brand out of it. One downside was that I had to look through a mirror to see what I was firing at. I grabbed the magnum, rolled down the window, and shot at the balloon. They went down, but not door much. Pretty soon Spike is writing a letter for Twilight to Princess Celestia, maybe it was to call for reinforcements. I didn't want to do this, but I had to kill Spike. Regrettingly, I shoot him in the head, just before he sent the letter. Twilight then starts to brand back three times, she only broke one of the brake lights. Then she tried to land on top, boven of my car. As she does this I notice Trixie in a magic show, and steer to the right before hitting her. The basket on the hot air balloon however hit her in the head, and knocked her out cold. After that I freak out because in front of me, was Princess Celestia, with an army of pegasus ponies that also had unicorn horns. They were all wearing goud armor, and had their horns set up to kill me. I try to steer out of the way, but it was too late. The blast from their attack made my car spin out of control, volgende thing I know, it's on fire. I grab what I can, ammo, guns, chaos smaragd, emerald and run to cover. When I get to cover I see the hot air balloon land door me, with the passengers very furious, and thats what I start shooting at.
posted by Seanthehedgehog


Song: link
 Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear
Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear

 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


St. Foalis Maressouri, 6 PM.

A crowd of thousands of ponies gathered at the Gateway Arch to experience a comedy toon that was being filmed live in 4k. The comedian? Tom Foolery.

Crowd: *Clapping, and chanting* Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
Tom: *Arrives at a temporary stage under the Gateway Arch*
Crowd: *Cheering, as they continue to clap*
Tom: Thank u everypony.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: Thank u very much....
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u see that weight on your wings?
So i know what you're feeling
Yeah, u got bigger dreams
So keep on believing

Don't let your colors
bleed into grey
We got each other
and chances to take
Yeah, u got bigger dreams
So keep on believing

I'll chase the sky with you
I'll chase the night with you
I'll chase the light with you
If u wanna fly
I'll chase the sky

Whoa oh oh oh
Whoa oh oh oh
Whoa oh oh oh
If u wanna fly
I'll chase the sky

Anything in your heart
Is meer than worth keeping (Mmm)
I'll shoot for the stars
If that's what u needed

Just say the word
and baby, i'll run
I'll find a way
to go beyond the sun
I'll...
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posted by TimberHumphrey
so here are a few theories i got for this show:

Theory #1: since Hasbro and DHX never even bothered to give Cozy Glow any semblance of a backstory, my theory is that she's actually a fully-grown adult pony stuck inside a filly's body. she was born with a condition that never let her physically age after filly-hood.

Theory #2: while we do know Sunset used to be Celestia's top, boven student, i always thought there was something meer to it than just a teacher-student relationship. and since we never get to see if Sunset had parents at some point in time, my theory is that she's Celestia's adopted daughter. remember how worried Celestia was about Sunset at the end of the first EqG movie? yeah, something tells me they're meer than just teacher and ex-student.

Theory #3: at one point in time, King Sombra used to be a great and loved king, before he became corrupted door his desire for power that forced Celestia and Luna to banish him into the abyss.
posted by Seanthehedgehog
The final part of Tom Foolery's toon is here.

Tom: Now, most of u probably don't know this, but we all have several things in common. I'll give u an example. We're all here together, in the greatest city in Maressouri.
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: I have some even funnier ones. When you're in your car, and u stop at a red light. Do u ever try to verplaats an extra inch of two?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But when u see other cars in front of you, you're in no rush to get as close to the other guy as possible. u just coast to the red light.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Coast to the red light, then all of a sudden...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tom was now making fun of the modern movie industry.

Tom: As much as I enjoy being an actor, when I'm not entertaining u with jokes.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: I always want to make sure the movie I'm in is good. They're not all comedies, my most recent film, Suicide was actually quite dark. Yet for some reason, comedians feel like it's a great way to improve their career. Correct me if I'm wrong, but being in a dramatic R-rated film will not improve your comedy career.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That's why no one knows who Jim Carrey is anymore.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: His recent role as Dr. Robotnik...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tom continued insulting politicians, much to the delight of his audience.

Tom: Presidential candidates are always a good target for comedians to make fun of, but u know what another populair target is? Black Lives Matter.
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Many black ponies are accusing millions of ponies of the Caucasian race, for something only one police officer did in the Midwest!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Who's the racist now u assholes?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And do u really think that every single Caucasian hates blacks?! When did we time travel back to the 18th Century?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Even the...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
What's a comedy toon without politics? Tom is going to make fun of the presidential election.

Tom: I don't know what's worse, this covid pandemic, of the presidential election.
Crowd: Yeah!!!
Tom: I don't trust either Trump, of Biden so I'm not going to vote. *Talks like a filly* But Tom, it's important for the economy!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Losing jobs, and spending money on taxes is not good for the economy!
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: I don't give a fuck what ponies tell me. I don't trust the president, I don't trust the princess, I don't trust anyone that works for the Equestrian government! Why?...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
After mentioning things u should only do alone, Tom had another segment for his audience to enjoy.

Tom: u know one thing I like to do when I'm alone? Rewatch some episodes of On The Block.
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Not only do I enjoy comedy, but I also enjoy being an actor. It's the only job where u can get away with murder.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Unless you're Robert Deniro, and the main protagonist is Al Pacino.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Seeing those two together was a lot of fun, but what really surprised me was seeing Pacino as a cop. He's normally the criminal, but I still got a kick...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


St. Foalis Maressouri, 6 PM.

A crowd of thousands of ponies gathered at the Gateway Arch to experience a comedy toon that was being filmed live in 4k. The comedian? Tom Foolery.

Crowd: *Clapping, and chanting* Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
Tom: *Arrives at a temporary stage under the Gateway Arch*
Crowd: *Cheering, as they continue to clap*
Tom: Thank u everypony.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: Thank u very much.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: And shut up.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom:...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog


Jerry: Sorry, but I got nothing.
Vito: I don't feel like dying. That's the reason we left the family in the first place.
Harlan: *Hears a car* What's that? *Looks out the window*
Vito: What is it?
Harlan: A cop.

The three stallions started to panic, but Vito had a plan.

Vito: I think I know what to do. Go upstairs and let me handle this.
Police Pony: *Rings the doorbell*
Vito: *Opens the door* How can I help u officer?
Police Pony: We got a complaint a while ago. Apparently this morning, some ponies had a gunfight just in front of your house. u know anything about this?
Vito: No. I was riding...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this episode.

Twilight Sparkle: *In a black converteerbaar, cabriolet with two Royal Guards. A bullet hits the door of the converteerbaar, cabriolet they're in*
Royal Guard: Princess, get down!

---

Captain Jefferson: Someone tried to assassinate the princess as she entered our town.

---

Twilight: Why would somepony want me dead?
Toby: That's what we're trying to find out.

---

Tim: *Gets punched three times door a blue unicorn. He gets punched one meer time, and his glasses break*

Intro
Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting volgende to her*

Gran Turismo

Starring Larry Wilcox as Tim...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this week's episode.

Tim: You're splitting us up?
Captain Jefferson: Just until Saturday. Someone's gotta teach the new guys what to do.

---

Pony: *Driving a sports car* Turn on the nitrous.
Pony 2: *Turns on the nitrous*
Pony: *Going faster*

---

Captain Jefferson: These two guys are wanted door the State Troopers, both in this state, and in Pennsylvania.
Tim: *Driving after the bad guys*
Captain Jefferson: We gotta be on our game.
Tim: *Hits another car, and goes on two wheels*

Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting volgende to her*

Gran Turismo

Starring...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
When Saten Twist returned to Los Angeles in the Super Chief, he saw Jake looking at him.

Jake: *Angry*
Saten: *Sweating* Why is he giving me that look? *Stops the train*
Jake: *Tapping his left front hoof on the ground, waiting for Saten Twist*
Saten: *Climbs down from the engine's cab* Why are u angry at me?
Jake: u owe me an apology for the way u talked to me yesterday.
Saten: John-
Jake: IT'S JAKE!!!!
Saten: Why are u getting angry at me all of a sudden?
Jake: Your lecture towards me made me lose my job, and now I can't find work anywhere else.
Saten: u quit?
Jake: Yeah. I'm still waiting...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


Song: link
 Celestia: *Runs from the left. She jumps up, her wings spreading wide, then her face gets into the triangle*
Celestia: *Runs from the left. She jumps up, her wings spreading wide, then her face gets into the triangle*


Albuquerque, New Mexicolt. July 19th, 1958

Saten Twist: *Walking towards the Super Chief*
Stallion 16: Here to take this train all the way to Los Angeles?
Saten Twist: *Nods, and climbs into the cab*
Conductor: All aboard!!
Saten Twist: *Blows the horn twice, and makes the train go forward*
 This is the train Saten Twist is driving, called the Super Chief. A luxury train for ponies.
This is the train Saten Twist is driving, called the Super Chief. A luxury train for ponies....
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Oh shit, BT's not making fun of someone this time around? (well in an indirect way I might be but let's see where this goes)

Yeah, I don't care if anyone reads this, I just want to get this off of my chest, because I'm gonna try and be real with this site for once and it's 1 AM in the morning.

One thing I've noticed in the time that i've been a part of this club (since like, 2012 of something, idk), is that this club has lost its backbone. The recent year, now, I've been shitposting like mad, pissing in everyone's cornflakes. I have admittedly been the worst kind of person, for NO good reason....
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, EQD
posted by SomeoneButNoone
My name? Alonzo Langusa. Age when I started operating? 23.


Act II

Vengeance...

Living was hard. I had to hide my name. I had to find a good job yet there was not enough money. Life was rough and it was because of these man. Vincent Galar, Apollo Monetto and Angelo Vertezio. I was taught door ma'am Crossroad not to kill. Yet I wanted to. I wanted vengeance. At age of 15 I started smoking and further drinking at age of 17 until at age of 23 I was kicked from my apartment. I went to Canterlot to find my good old friend her name was Clara. When I came she was shocked. I still remember it.


"Who are you?"...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
It was a cold night like this one when my father smoked his last cigarette in our family house. The night so cold even me myself did not want to go out. The time? As a kid u don't care about that. It was dark, and it was winter. Christmas day. After Equestrian economical fall and industrial boom, everyone changed, the dirty mafias started to leak. My father was part of one of these. A high up. One of important people in Vertezio familia. Still on that night...

Act I

That Night...

"So how was your dag outside" Father asked me with a smile. "Good" was all I answered. I was 11 what could I say....
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook
posted by SomeoneButNoone
Darkness - *burst into room* Bad news! Void was kidnapped!
Dan - What?!
Snowflake - Void...


----
Location - ???
---

Void - *wakes up strapped to some tafel, tabel covered with bandages* What the...
Nyx - Good dag VOID. I never thought u will be the first to feel truth.
Void - What are you- *looks at him and see big machine behind him*
Nyx - Ah u see this. My project. Fruit of my reschearch. The best weapon ever. u know - cores are great aren't they. They stay alive for 20 years. But u know what is better in them. Their power. A sheer power that may verplaats body of stimulate brain. And this seconde thing...
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