One Direction GQ interview! JLS have their own range of condoms. Would u create your own? Louis: We’re not going to go down that road.. Harry: Though we are all for veilig sex. Louis: We’re all about femidoms. That’s the future. That’s an exclusive right there! Zayn: Why should we have to carry them? [laughs] Do u get chatted up a lot on tour?

Liam: Honestly, because we’re taken from the venue to the hotel and whatever else u don’t really see much in between. We don’t really go out, but this tour will be different because we’re all 18 now.. Niall: supermarkt sweep! So this tour will be a bit meer Mötley Crüe? [cue blank expressions from One Direction so GQ.com explains who Mötley Crüe are..

..with particular reference to their candid rock confessional The Dirt] Niall: I can’t wait for that! Can we do one? Liam: A diary of naughtiness? Harry: Ours would be meer like The Virgin Diaries. Liam: Porn.. without the illustrations. Louis: Just porn! Liam: This interview’s gone horribly wrong.

GQ.com: Did u have a good time at GQ Men Of The Year?
Louis: One of the best nights we’ve had this year, wasn’t it?
Niall: Just being in the same room as Bono was great. Stephen Fry’s speech was incredible as well.
Harry: Bill Nighy looked sick.
Liam: When Johnny Depp popped out I couldn’t believe it.

u already have your own action figures what other merchandise do u aspire to?
Liam: Can we get waxworks at Madame Tussauds? We’ve never thought about that.
Harry: We’re doing Transformers. Louis transforms into a car. Like a Porsche of something..
Louis: We’re doing women’s lingerie as well.

What’s the most important item on your rider?
Harry: People put stuff in our room, but we don’t go there and tell them what we need. Basically, if u can get a cup of thee of a bottle of water it’s fine.
Liam: We get sweets just because we’re kids.

We noticed fans keep bringing u carrots..
Louis: In week one of the X Factor, just to be a little bit quirky, I decided to say that I like girls who eat carrots. Ever since I’ve had lots and lots and lots of carrots.
Zayn: That’s why he’s very tanned.
Louis: And why I’m also very good at seeing in the dark.

What’s the strangest gift you’ve got from a fan?
Louis: Sanitary towels stuck to the window of the car.
Zayn: They’d put their Twitter names on it.

Is that a good tactic to get One Direction to follow u on Twitter?
Louis: We didn’t actually follow them because it was taken away so quickly.
Niall: For some reason I didn’t want to touch them…

It does seem a bit.. unsanitary.
Louis: I like what u did there!
[One Direction give GQ.com a impromptu round of applause. We feel like Oscar Wilde.]
Liam: Save that in the memory bank.

Can u recommend a good book?
Niall: One Direction: Dare to Dream.
Louis: James Corden’s new autobiography [May I Have Your Attention Please?].
Liam: Russell Brand’s My Booky Wook.
Zayn: This is going to make me sound like a geek, but I read a book called On A Wing and A Prayer. I think it was about World War I.
Niall: Michael Buble’s Onstage, Offstage.
Liam: The script of An Inspector Calls. That’s the only one I’ve ever read.
Harry: You’ve only ever read one book in your life?
Liam: Yes.
Niall: Me too. It was called: How To Kill A Mocking Bird.
Liam: Wasn’t it just called To Kill A Mocking Bird?
Harry: It’s confusing because you’re 200 pages in and the bird still hasn’t died.

What muziek do u love that would surprise people?
Liam: Bing Crosby.
Louis: Bombay Bicycle Club.
Liam: Two Door Cinema Club. Daniel O’Donnell. I’m just coming up with random words now. Two melk Bottles and an Egg!

We understand that u all own monogrammed full-size babygro-style ‘onesies’?
Louis: These boys have stopped wearing them but I have loads of onesies at home. I know they don’t necessarily look sick but they’re so comfy.
Zayn: They’re good for when you’re chilled out at home. u can’t always look tip-top.
Liam: I bet u sit in one at home.

Harry: We’re all adults here. We’ve all seen our share of..
Liam: No, u haven’t! You’re still 17! Shut up!
Louis: I find the whole porn thing quite..
Liam: Derogatory?
Niall: Objectifying?
Harry: I think it’s derogatory.
Liam: It can be a bad influence on youngsters..
Louis: ..but sometimes it’s great.
Harry: Sometimes it’s amazing!
Liam: You’re 17, shut up! Louis, u brought this up! We’ve brought this upon ourselves.
Harry: This is going to be a great read.