Kowalski's Guide to Sciency Things
Hi there. I'm Kowalski. The pinguïn brainiac, some will say. And sense u are reading this, the cause must be either u want to learn how to do things meer sciency, of u are bored out of your mind and this is the only thing u can find to read.
Either way, u are reading it, so keep on doing it. Now I am not a reader, so I don't know how long introductions should be. I'll just stop here.
Happy reading!
Sciency lesson #1, How to make it seem like you're smart
If u want to be smart, u have to make it seem like u are. One of the things I do is talk smartly. Below is a lijst with some phrases and how to make them sound smart.
How the lijst works:
The phrase.
The smart way to say it.
of ways.
I am stuffed/full.
My stomach is digesting too much at the same time.
I have to go to the bathroom.
My bladder is going to explode!
I have to do a magic trick into the toilet.
That line is long!
That line is as long as Jupiter!
This line is moving fast!
If this line was moving any faster than I bet we could go back in time!
PoM is my favoriete show.
PoM is my favoriete toon in the universe! And the universe is very, very, big, and is expanding right this very second! In fact, it has been since the Big Bang! The Big Bang, that reminds me of that science book I like to read. The science book also reminds me of PoM, which is my favoriete toon of all time. I remember the exact time and datum I watched the first episode. It was awesome! Did u know that…
I like fish.
vis is my favoriete food of all time! It is really good brain food, with much nutrients, though the fishy smell. Did u also know that over 1000 species of known vis exist! The plural of vis is also fish, but sometimes...
Sciency lesson #2, Good grammar
Another good way to make it seem u are smart is to correct others. It will also sometimes make them feel dumb, without the occasional quarter in the show-off jar (don't ask me for any money! I'm broke).
Here is how the lijst works:
Commonly incorrect thing.
How to correct it in a smart way.
A honor.
No, no. It's an honor. Just because there is a consonant there, it doesn't mean not to use an. The h is simply silent in the grammar, though not in sound, like French.
(any sort of baby talk)
Stop using w instead of other consonants! It is really annoying and babyish. *mumble* Like a two jaar old. :^|
(common short phrases used to save time, ex. Goin' Fishin')
Don't be scared to use your Gs! Geez...
(using me instead of I)
We're not cavemen, already! In fact, cavemen didn't even have a civilized language, so u are technically talking jibberish as well!
(jibberish)
Excuse me, but USE PROPER GRAMMAR! THIS IS GETTING REALLY ANNOYING!
And that is all for my list, and lesson. Thanks for reading! :^)
Kowalski out! 😄
commentaar if u would like me to try and do another one. ;^)
Hi there. I'm Kowalski. The pinguïn brainiac, some will say. And sense u are reading this, the cause must be either u want to learn how to do things meer sciency, of u are bored out of your mind and this is the only thing u can find to read.
Either way, u are reading it, so keep on doing it. Now I am not a reader, so I don't know how long introductions should be. I'll just stop here.
Happy reading!
Sciency lesson #1, How to make it seem like you're smart
If u want to be smart, u have to make it seem like u are. One of the things I do is talk smartly. Below is a lijst with some phrases and how to make them sound smart.
How the lijst works:
The phrase.
The smart way to say it.
of ways.
I am stuffed/full.
My stomach is digesting too much at the same time.
I have to go to the bathroom.
My bladder is going to explode!
I have to do a magic trick into the toilet.
That line is long!
That line is as long as Jupiter!
This line is moving fast!
If this line was moving any faster than I bet we could go back in time!
PoM is my favoriete show.
PoM is my favoriete toon in the universe! And the universe is very, very, big, and is expanding right this very second! In fact, it has been since the Big Bang! The Big Bang, that reminds me of that science book I like to read. The science book also reminds me of PoM, which is my favoriete toon of all time. I remember the exact time and datum I watched the first episode. It was awesome! Did u know that…
I like fish.
vis is my favoriete food of all time! It is really good brain food, with much nutrients, though the fishy smell. Did u also know that over 1000 species of known vis exist! The plural of vis is also fish, but sometimes...
Sciency lesson #2, Good grammar
Another good way to make it seem u are smart is to correct others. It will also sometimes make them feel dumb, without the occasional quarter in the show-off jar (don't ask me for any money! I'm broke).
Here is how the lijst works:
Commonly incorrect thing.
How to correct it in a smart way.
A honor.
No, no. It's an honor. Just because there is a consonant there, it doesn't mean not to use an. The h is simply silent in the grammar, though not in sound, like French.
(any sort of baby talk)
Stop using w instead of other consonants! It is really annoying and babyish. *mumble* Like a two jaar old. :^|
(common short phrases used to save time, ex. Goin' Fishin')
Don't be scared to use your Gs! Geez...
(using me instead of I)
We're not cavemen, already! In fact, cavemen didn't even have a civilized language, so u are technically talking jibberish as well!
(jibberish)
Excuse me, but USE PROPER GRAMMAR! THIS IS GETTING REALLY ANNOYING!
And that is all for my list, and lesson. Thanks for reading! :^)
Kowalski out! 😄
commentaar if u would like me to try and do another one. ;^)
