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posted by coolkatstar
I found this on the internet :P

part I
Everybody who has a dog calls it "Rover" of "Boy"; I called mine "Sex". Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the city hall to renew his license, I told the clerk I wanted to have a license for Sex. He zei "I'd like to have one too." Then I zei "But this is a dog". He zei he didn't care want she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He zei I must have been quite a kid.

Then when I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He zei every room in the hotel was for sex. I zei "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at nights." He zei "Me too."


Part II
One dag I entered Sex in a contest, but before before the competition began the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was hanging around. I told him that I planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold tickets of my own. "But u don't understand," I said, "I hope to have sex on TV." He called me a show-off.

When my wife and me separated, we went to court to fight over the custody rights of the dog. I zei "Your honor, I had Sex before we were married." The judge zei "me too." Then I told him that after I married Sex left me. The judge zei "Me too."

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking for him around town. A cop came over and asked me, "What are u doing in this dark alley at 4 in the morning?" I zei "I'm looking for sex." My case comes up on Friday.
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Source: google
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Source: SOS Japan (Facebook)
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LOVE WILL REMEMBER
[Voicemail]
Hey babe it’s me, I just wanted to call to tell u that
I love u so so so so much,
Just wanted to let u know that u are my princess,
You are worthy of all of the love in the world,
You are the love of my life.

Now's all we got,
And time can't be bought,
I know it inside my heart
Forever will forever be ours,
Even if we try to forget,
Love will remember

[Verse 1]
You zei u loved me,
I zei I loved u back,
What happened to that?
What happened to that?

All your promises,
And all them plans we had,
What happened to that?
What happened to that?

Boom gone,
Yeah we verplaats on
Even...
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posted by neonstars
Are u a scientist Cause I'd Like to do u on a tafel, tabel , Periodically(:

If u where a driehoek You'd be acute one.

Is your name WiFi, because I feel a connection.

There something wrong with my phone, it doesn't have your number in it x3

hallo baby, better call life alert cause I've fallen for u and I can't get up (:

Roses are red. Foxes are clever. I like your but, shall I touch it forever?

u remind me of my volgende boyfriend.

Do your legs hurt? From running through my dreams all night!

If u were a snack pack id eat u without a spoon.

u smell like a flower. Can I plant u in my garden?

Do u believe in love at first sight, of should I walk door again?
This is important to horror fans and collectors alike because as Child's Play series fans we are extremely limited in choice as far as accurate replicas go and are forced to pay ridiculous amounts of money for one replica usually of foreign origin because every single worth while piece created for this film is of limited release and considered extremely rare. It's not right for fans of the series to have to pay 2,000 average for a replica and one from 5 years geleden at that. We want a "to scale" accurate replica of Chucky from the original Child's Play films in his unstitched form.

Please sign this petition, it'd mean a lot to me!: link
"Hey, Mom, Dad, I'm home!" Emma called from the foyer of their house. She walked into the keuken-, keuken and found her parents cooking dinner. "Hi sweetie, we're cooking vegetarian spaghetti and the sauce, your favorite!" Her mom said. "Cool! But I need to eat it fast, I need to call some vrienden and talk, is that okay?" Emma said, walking over to her mom. "Of course, honey!" Her mom said. "And dinner's just about ready."

"Bye!" Eve mouthed to Mellissa from the sidewalk. Eve turned the corner and once she did she started running towards an alley. "Might as well take a shortcut." She muttered to herself....
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posted by invadercalliope
Songwriters: Rodgers, Nile; Edwards, Bernard

(CHORUS:)We are familyI got all my sisters with meWe are familyGet up ev'rybody and singEv'ryone can see we're togetherAs we walk on by(FLY!) and we fly just like birds of a featherI won't tell no lie(ALL!) all of the people around us they sayCan they be that closeJust let me state for the recordWe're giving love in a family dose
(CHORUS x2)Living life is fun and we've just begunTo get our share of the world's delights(HIGH!) high hopes we have for the futureAnd our goal's in sight(WE!) no we don't get depressedHere's what we call our golden ruleHave faith in u and the things u doYou won't go wrongThis is our family Jewel(REPEAT CHORUS TO FADE)
The End
chapter 1 discovery

"what should we do today Teki?" Kiely asked her tiny dog. Knowing that the dog couldn't posibly respond in any other way than wagging her tail of bark and that is exactly what the dog did.
Kiely sat volgende to her chihuahua and ran her hand down her back feeling her soft black and brown fur."your a good baby girl" she crooned at the little puppy.
"Lets go to the park and then we could go to fred's,"Kiely finally desided Teki was still wagging her tail. Kiely made her way to the bathroom to freshen up and take a shower. She got out of the douche and headed toward the mirror to...
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posted by jessicamc26
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car vooruit, voorwaarts saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety. The moral of the story: If u are hung like a horse, u don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
This is what i would say to my jacob, if i can even say he is mine.


How do i even start off, do i start off saying that i dont know how to start off,or do i pour my hart-, hart out,that first word, i dont know anymore..Because with you, nothing is the way it seems, of the way it was before. Everything changes even the way im supposed to write this, you've confused me.
OK,, i think is this part where i pour my hart-, hart out right?? if not. im going to sound.. odd. but who cares now? not you. u wont even read this my love.
ok here i go, keep me from falling.
I meet u on a saturday, on the first saturday...
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from:sponge bob
wirtten by:sponge bob
gitaar by:spongeb
preformed by:sponge bob&patrick& squidward
featuring:Patrick
also featuring :squidward *sorta*
drums:patrick
singer:spongebob

lets gather around the campfire and sing the campfire song our c-a-mp-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g song. and if u think that we cant sing it faster then your wrong but itll help if u just sing along
Bom Bom Bom
*sing it fast!*
C-a-m-p-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g song,C-am-p-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g song and if u think that we cant sing it faster then u wrong but itll help if u just sing along.
*even faster*C-a-m-p-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g song,C-a-m-p-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g song Patrick!
"SoNG!C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E..
"squdiward1good!"
Itll help!itll help!if u just sing along!OH YEAH!

THE END
"
posted by twilight0girl
link

Nathan:
Dear Marni,
I am so sorry.
Can u forgive me for this?

Rotti:
Not the debt doctor
With the hungry scalpel!
Here's my prognosis:
Will they live...?

Hench Girls:
Doubtful.

Luigi:
Your the straat physician
carving flesh sculptures!

Pavi:
Paint your ezel like rembrandt!
Ha! u Like-a that?!

Rotti:
Better start praying when u see him coming.

Luigi:
cause tonight its curtains!

Luigi, Pavi and Rotti:
Youre the night surgeon!

Chorus:
Remember who u are.

Nathan:
I remember...

Genterns:
Remember what u did to Marni.

Chorus:
Remember who u are.

Nathan:
I remember...

Genterns:
Remember...
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Source: Google
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added by CokeTheUmbreon