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posted by APWBD112
So this is a part from a story I'm writing and I was wondering if anyone like's this shit so tell me what u think......

While they were walking through the forest Arianna noticed that Alex didn’t have many armors, she was a warriors right didn’t they need a lot of these? “Hey Alex I was….” but she didn’t say anything meer Alex turned around quick and zei “Don’t call me Alex here my name is Velocius Quam Ceteris it mean faster then the rest……” and she turned around again. “Huh okay, but I was thinking don’t u need meer of u know armor are u save like this?” “Faster then the rest I don’t need any armor” she said. What ever had happened Alex was different, like all of her laughter had been sucked away. “But Alex….I’m sorry Velocius can I call u Vel?” she asked “My vrienden call me Vivos it’s shorter then Velocius but it sill means the same but the masters call me that…..” she zei and when she zei master it sounded like she didn’t like to say it like there was something about it something Arianna had never heard from her friend. It was a beautiful weather the sun was shining and cast shadows all over the place. It was like magic. Then Arianna started thinking were they were going they had been walking for hours. “Humm Vivos where are we going?” Vivos stopped and waited for Arianna to walk right volgende to her. “We are going to the home pagina house where I live now” she said. “How far is it from here?” Arianna asked “About five minutes”. After a long walk they finally reach the “home house”. It was very big almost like a castle. It had big doors that where deep red and the windows where in the same color but every thing else was black of grey. It was very different from the environment that was so colorful and pretty. Vivos (Alex) knocked on the door on the same time an light brown centaur opened the door from the other side. Arianna thought it was very weird to see an actual centaur but after every thing else she had heard this dag it was almost very normal. The centaur had black hair and a very strong face that zei “watch out” he was very scary, he had scars all over his body and an bow and arrows on his back. “Welcome Vivos, who is with u today?” he said, his voice was very dark and deep. “This is Arianna she just came from the other world. I knew her before I came here Diligunt” Vivos zei and bowed for Diligunt the centaur. Diligunt looked at Arianna “Yes I can see she is new here, come in Sapiens has been waiting for you” Vivos was shocked to hear the name Sapiens, she stood up slowly and walk in the castle. Diligunt walked beside her at the right and Arianna at the left. Arianna heard Diligaunt whisper to Vivos “Don’t worry Vivos, Sapiens can’t harm u wile I am still here” at the seconde he zei that Arianna looked around. As u walked in there was a stair ahead of you, a big one, on the walls where golden candle stick and paintings of the woods and the wild life. They walked up the stairs and after an hallway. There was no one around there it was all empty. They walked trough an wooden door and in to a big hall. In the hall where maybe thousands of centaurs of all kinds. Tall, small, dark, light, women, men and even children and they all looked up to an big black, strong centaur that stood above them all on a some kind of a pedestal and looked over everyone. With out even thinking about it Arianna knew that this must be Sapiens the one Vivos was so afraid of. “We have a guest today, a human from the other world a friend of Velocius that we all care for so much” Diligunt shouted over the crowd. Arianna felt all the eyes that where looking at her but then…“Velocius come up here” it was Sapiens he shouted over the crowd. Vivos walked slowly over to the pedestal where Sapiens stood. He looked angry. “Where have u been Vivos I was starting to be afraid of you” he said. Vivos whisper something back that no one could here. “This meeting is over everyone know what to do now go” Sapiens shouted over the crowd and then he took Vivos to a room in the back. Arianna was afraid what would she do when Vivos was gone and then Diligunt zei with his deep voice “Vivos will be talking to Sapiens for a minuet, I will lead u to your room” and looked to Arianna. “Oh okay thanks I guess” Arianna said. All of the centaurs walked out of the hall and walked in all different ways. Diligunt showed Arianna where to go. The kasteel was where complicated it had all those hallways doors and stairs. It was still very pretty but still so cold. When Arianna and Diligunt had walked around all of the kasteel (Arianna felt) they got to a room it was very different from the rest of the castle. It wasn’t cold and gray it was warm and sweet. It had many different rugs all over the floor, an big bed up to the uithangbord a brand place in the corner with a two sofas around it. “This is Vivos room I hope u will like it here”

now be honest..
42 Things That Will Make Your Parents Go Crazy.

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...

2. Moo when they say your name...

3. Run into walls...

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...

7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...

8. Have 20 imaginary vrienden that u talk to all the time...

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...

10. Do what they actually tell you...

11. Jump off the roof, trying...
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posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar u grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something of someone

3. Go up to a random person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki random noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a fontein run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to u in public about the...
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posted by fencingrocks
No, I'm not racist I just found it on youtube.

If u want to check it out link

59. Goldstein
58. Burgenblatt
57. Burgenstein
56. Birumbaum
55. Farbstein
54. Grepslach
53. Steinbergavinski
52. Schnitzler
51. Pupikatvitz
50. Schnitzelmacher
49. Schpoilgekatz
48. Manashevitz
47. Platzenfinkle
46. Yankelovitz
45.Shteinshtein
44. Oyvayski
43. Shmoigerberg
42. Choppedleiberman
41.Zilbershpitzanhimelfarbenfleishebien
40.Gefiltafarb
39. Gefiltashlep
38. B'Bergberg
37. Yidihevitz
36. Synagogavitz
35. Parkenfien
34. LOL they forgot this one... :D
33. Kinkenberg
32. Menachemchem
31. Rechtum
30. Along with this one
29. Docotrlawyerstein...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while geleden and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask u somethingand i want u to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how u feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want u to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi of Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
added by xxXsk8trXxx
1.I like pie

2.Blue isn't blue until blue turns blue and when blue turns blue it's possibly blue and when blue turns blue, blue is orange.

3.My cat can fly. I taught him to the other day.

4.Dog food is a beautiful thing to watch when u are eating!

5.BLACK HEAD!!!!!!!!

6.Butterfly fly away, because I'm your biggest fan, and I got a feeling that you'll shine on like the Moonstone high at the end of time.

7.Heeeeeeeloo!

8. My name is Cow. I like purple. My name is purple. I like cows. In the end, the odds come together and we get out alive.

9. I'M IN HELL WHENEVER I'M AROUND POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

10. Fartblossom!

11.Pip-pip cheerio! (In and English accent.)

12. Your face is disorted when u sleeeeeep.

13. Bye zei Santa while eating Blitzen.
added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: google
just got this while browsing the net

1.I was kidnapped door terrorists and they only just let me go, so I didn't have time to do it.

2.I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to my teacher's heavy workload.

3.A bunch of nerds stal it to make sure theirs were completely perfect.

4.We ran out of toilet paper at my house last night, and my Dad isn't feeling so good. He grabbed it in a big rush and I haven't seen it since.

5.My mother took it to have it framed.

6.It was in my back pocket and a pickpocket stal it.

7.I let somebody copy it but they never gave it back.

8.My mom's whooping cough vaccination...
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posted by IsabellaMCullen
I didn't make this, I just found it...


1.Stick your open palm under the stall uithangbord and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2.Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3.Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4.Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5.Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6.Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7.Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconden and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8.Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9.Say, "Humus....
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posted by slytherin360
found this on the net:

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minuut intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people u can get to kom bij in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department door sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins...
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added by shiriny
posted by iLuvLouisCarrot
“So, Louis, the rumor’s true? Are u really secretly dating someone?”
Diana asked,
I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat. It was all Harry’s fault. Everyone thought I was dating someone because he zei that in the last interview we had.
For fucks sake, I didn’t know what the giddy aunt to say. I looked over at Harry, who was trying not to laugh.
“Yeah. Actually I am.”
It was a spur of the moment thing. I was just… errrggghhhhh.
The crowd gasped. Diana looked shocked. .
“Can u tell us who it is?”
She asked. She literally shoved the microphone in my face.
“I would tell you,...
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posted by Hinata-Snow
I got this from the joke app I have. Well, enjoy!

25 facts of life
1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
2. u will never find anybody who can give u a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.
3. People who feel the need to tell u that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling u that they have no sense of humor.
4. The most valuable function performed door the federal government is entertainment.
5. u should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests u think she's pregnant unless u can see an...
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Man: Where have u been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen u someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this zitplaats, stoel empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if u sit down.

Man: Your place of mine?
Woman: Both. u go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do u do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: hallo baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do u like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the ends of the world...
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posted by vlad_todd_fan
This is A TRUE STORY AND IF u DON'T PASS THIS ON u DON'T HAVE A SOUL!!!

My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All dag long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear...
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posted by rAsberrStrarS
Kiss On The Lips-I Love You
Kiss On The Ear-You Are Special
Kiss On The Nose-Laughter
Kiss On The Cheek-Friendship
Kiss On The Forehead-I Comfort You
Kiss On The Neck-I Want You
Kiss On The Shoulder-You Are Wonderful
Kiss Anywhere Else-Be Careful
Play Around With Hair-Can't Live Without You
Holding Hands-Happiness
Arms Around Waist-You Are Mine,I Need You
A Hug-I Care
Nibble On Ear-Start Warming
Smiling At Each Other-I Like You
Lifting Eyebrows/Wink-Flirtation
Looking Around-Hiding True Feelings
Tender Kiss On The Side Of Your Lips-You're Mine
Wetting Your Lips-Waiting For A Kiss
Tear Drop-I'm Losing You
Crying-I Lost u
 Miku and Kaito
Miku and Kaito
20. Miku Hatsune and Kaito from "VOCALOID" I know it's kinda cheating because there voice synthesizers but there still animated in some of there muziek videos! There so cute together I had to put them on here.

19. Gakupo and Rin from "VOCALOID" I know I just did it again. But I love them meer then Kaito and Miku so they have to be on this too and besides the only other guy is her twin brother and I don't like incest.
 Gakupo and Rin
Gakupo and Rin

18. Ion and Esther from "Trinity Blood" Oh god I love these two they start out hating each other then become close vrienden of maybe more...I'd like to think so....
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1. Q."Can I screw you?"
A.I would say: "No..."

2. Q/M."Would u mind if I read this?"*Holds up some porn magazine*
A. I would say: "I don't give a da**..."

3. Q/M. *Hugs u and takes a little something off u would like him not to*
A.I would slap him and say "Don't do that, da** it!"

4. Q. "Are u sure we can't f***?"
A. I would say: "If u say that agin...I swear I'm going to get ticked..."
5. Q. "That somehow arouses me..."
A. I would say:"Get aroused all u want, not like I care if u are of aren't...As long as u don't jump around..."

6. Q. "I want to sign your shirt..."
A. I would say:...
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posted by Mallory101
Just some of my favorite quotes.
------------------------------------------------


•Dance like your vagina's on fire.

•Don't be a dick just grow one.

•He haunts me like a nightmare, his image is everywhere, he doesn't leave me alone, i can't escape him of erase him, when i know he's not coming
home.

•If u want something you've never had, then you've got to do something you've done.

•How can I go vooruit, voorwaarts when I don't know which way I'm facing.

•No one is free, Even the birds are chained to the sky.

•And the feeling when I'm with you,right there, is the exact reason why I never gave up...
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added by edwardcarlisle
Source: didyoukno