Here are my lijst of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let u know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything of eating anything u might spit it of something.)
#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.
#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)
#3 Why was the bezem late to work?
It overswept!
#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the baai, bay they'd be bagels.
#5 What's Michelle Obama's favoriete vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)
#6 Why does the paddestoel have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)
#7 What do u call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)
#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.
#9 What do u call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!
#10 How do u make an octopus giggle ten times?
u give him ten-tickles (tenticles)
#11 How do u make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!
#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!
#13 What's a chicken's favoriete composer?
Bach!
#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between u and me man, something smells." (Your nose)
#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."
#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."
#17 Why can't u hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)
#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher zei it was a piece of cake.
#19 Why did the tomaat blush?
It saw the salade dressing.
#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)
#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)
#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.
#23 How do u know if it's raining cats and dogs?
u step in a poodle (puddle)
#24 How do u know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)
#25 How do u get pikachu on a bus?
u pokémon (pok 'em on)
#26 Why can't u dress with pikachu in the room?
He'll pikachu (peek at you)
#27 What do u call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)
#28 How do get holy water?
u boil the hell out of it!
#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD
#30 Why didn't the skeleton kruis the road?
He didn't have the guts to.
#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)
#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)
#33 What do u call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator
#34 What's roze and fluffy?
roze fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
roze fluff holding it's breath.
#35 What happens when u drink 7 coca colas?
u burp 7up
#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.
#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!
#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.
#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)
#40 what did the vis say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!
#41 Why can't u trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)
Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope u liked them. Make sure u check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
(Make sure your not drinking anything of eating anything u might spit it of something.)
#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.
#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)
#3 Why was the bezem late to work?
It overswept!
#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the baai, bay they'd be bagels.
#5 What's Michelle Obama's favoriete vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)
#6 Why does the paddestoel have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)
#7 What do u call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)
#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.
#9 What do u call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!
#10 How do u make an octopus giggle ten times?
u give him ten-tickles (tenticles)
#11 How do u make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!
#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!
#13 What's a chicken's favoriete composer?
Bach!
#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between u and me man, something smells." (Your nose)
#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."
#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."
#17 Why can't u hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)
#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher zei it was a piece of cake.
#19 Why did the tomaat blush?
It saw the salade dressing.
#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)
#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)
#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.
#23 How do u know if it's raining cats and dogs?
u step in a poodle (puddle)
#24 How do u know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)
#25 How do u get pikachu on a bus?
u pokémon (pok 'em on)
#26 Why can't u dress with pikachu in the room?
He'll pikachu (peek at you)
#27 What do u call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)
#28 How do get holy water?
u boil the hell out of it!
#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD
#30 Why didn't the skeleton kruis the road?
He didn't have the guts to.
#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)
#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)
#33 What do u call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator
#34 What's roze and fluffy?
roze fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
roze fluff holding it's breath.
#35 What happens when u drink 7 coca colas?
u burp 7up
#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.
#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!
#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.
#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)
#40 what did the vis say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!
#41 Why can't u trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)
Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope u liked them. Make sure u check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
Death came to a guy and said: "My friend today is your day."
Guy:"But I'm not ready!"
Then death said,"well your name is the volgende on my list".
Guy:"Okay why don't u take a zitplaats, stoel and I will get u something to eat before we go?".
Then death said,"all right"
The guy gave death some food with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep.
The guy took the lijst and removed his name from the top, boven of the lijst and put it at the bottom of the list.
When death woke up he zei to the guy, "Because u have been so nice to me, I will start from the BOTTOM of the lijst ..."
Moral of the story: - Whatever is written in your destiny ... Will never change no matter how much u try!!
Guy:"But I'm not ready!"
Then death said,"well your name is the volgende on my list".
Guy:"Okay why don't u take a zitplaats, stoel and I will get u something to eat before we go?".
Then death said,"all right"
The guy gave death some food with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep.
The guy took the lijst and removed his name from the top, boven of the lijst and put it at the bottom of the list.
When death woke up he zei to the guy, "Because u have been so nice to me, I will start from the BOTTOM of the lijst ..."
Moral of the story: - Whatever is written in your destiny ... Will never change no matter how much u try!!