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There's a reason why Shovel Knight is widely regarded as the best game of 2014, and here's why.

But first, since I'm meer of a buzzkill than the bees in Donkey Kong Country, a little backstory.

Shovel Knight started out as a project on the populair website Kickstarter, which kickstarts new ideas and is commonly used to make and invent new things. Then came....

*Insert cliche as hell hallelujah music*

This game, Shovel Knight.

Now since this isn't a review, I'm just going to give what I think of it, that way this doesn't turn into one of those god-forsaken 1,000 word essays u had to do in a week when u were in elementary school.

Shovel Knight in a nutshell is an NES based platformer that is easily one of the best I've ever seen.

The gameplay is as sharp as a blacksmithed needle, the muziek is as catchy that goddamn catchphrase YOLO, and the graphics look as beautiful as my girlfriend Cynthia, because even though the game's only 8-bit, it still looks absolutely wonderful.

Seriously, there's no way in hell that this game could've been on an actual NES. The system wasn't capable of auto-scrolling, 46 amazing songs that I could listen to all millennium, of a story mode as long as Shovel Knight's.

The story is that Shovel Knight and his extravagant buddy Shield Knight used to roam the lands, living young, wild, and free, (Don't lie, u don't get the reference.) When all of a sudden she disappears right the fuck out of nowhere and you've got to save her!

But to get to where she presumably is at the tower of fate, u must first beat up a giant intimidating group of baddies called "The Order Of No Quarter!"

u CAN'T HAVE MY QUARTERS ROBOT MASTER STEREOTYPES! >.<

Seriously though, the bosses each have awesome designs with funny personalities and I love each and every one of them.

Then there's the leader of the group, named the Enchantress. She's the annoying ezel Blinky of the group, and easily the most powerful of the Order Of No Quarter.

Using a character that looks exactly like Boba Fett from ster Wars and Vile from Megaman X, u must use the shovel heard round the world to stop the baddies and save your girlfriend!

Seriously, the shovel in this game is so powerful it can break steel in two hits.

I WANT THAT SHOVEL.

The entire game is easy to learn, but so damn hard to master you'd have an easier time learning to twirl a conductor's baton on brand in a pool full of sharks.

Although each death is quite fair, as no time playing the game did I ever find me actually mad, and I never died because I thought the game was unfair either, so don't get the wrong idea of I'll swat u with a ski pole.

Every now and then you'll find a rare special item that u can use at any time as long as u have enough magic, including a brand rod, a giant exploding anchor, and a pair of gloves that can somehow control the boundaries of space, time, and gravity and stempel, punch through dust blocks in the air while flying until there's no meer dirt bricks left to punch.

I WANT THOSE GLOVES.

In conclusion, this is a very fun game that's easily worth your money. And seeing as how there's SO much awesome DLC coming out soon you'd have an easier time counting the amount of mosquitos there are in a swarm of absolutely terrifying blood-drinking creatures, I think you'll absolutely love this game.

u probably won't love the swarm of mosquitos though, dear god.

FINAL SCORE: 9.5! This is one of the best games I've seen in decades.
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If ya got the time I’ll take it
If ya got the vibe we’ll make it
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If u wanna dance let’s verplaats it
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You know that I’d do anything for you
If u want the world u got it
If u want the girl u got it
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If ya got the game let’s win it
If ya got the...
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posted by -Yusha-
Death came to a guy and said: "My friend today is your day."

Guy:"But I'm not ready!"
Then death said,"well your name is the volgende on my list".

Guy:"Okay why don't u take a zitplaats, stoel and I will get u something to eat before we go?".

Then death said,"all right"
The guy gave death some food with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep.

The guy took the lijst and removed his name from the top, boven of the lijst and put it at the bottom of the list.

When death woke up he zei to the guy, "Because u have been so nice to me, I will start from the BOTTOM of the lijst ..."

Moral of the story: - Whatever is written in your destiny ... Will never change no matter how much u try!!
posted by invadercalliope
I wanna be the very best

Like no one ever was

To catch them is my real test

To train them is my cause

I will travel across the land

Searching far and wide

Teach Pokemon to understand

The power that's inside

Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all--

It's u and me

I know it's my destiny

Pokemon!

Ooooh, you're my best friend

In a world we must defend

Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all--

Our hearts so true

Our courage will pull us through

You teach me and I'll teach you

Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all!

Gotta catch 'em all!

Yeeaa.

Every challenge along the way

With courage I can face



To claim my rightful place

Come with me the time is right...
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posted by jessicamc26
A stoner called the brand department and said, "Come quick my house is on fire!" The Fireman asked "How do we get there?" The stoner says "DUH, the big red truck!"






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posted by sapherequeen
 :)
:)
I just want to take the time to thank everyone here who has known me, been on my side, is a fan of me, cares about me, etc. :)

I appreciate every single person here, and despite my being very moody at times, I will always care for those who feel the same towards me :D

I noticed that I've been very...unpleasant on Fanpop towards some people, and I apologize for that. All I could say was that I was in the Darkest Time of my life, and it consumed me entirely. But now, that will change >:)

I am me again. I love and respect those who have always been there for me, were kind to me, are my fans, and appreciate each and every one of u for the rest of my life :)

I love u all! Have a beautiful, wonderful dag :D
 -LOL!-
-LOL!-
posted by KatiiCullen94
dear Alice.
i don't know why i say alice anymore, i think now i write these emails to myself, to secure me that u were real, that u all were , that he was.
There is evidence that u were here. and was my best friend. But sometimes i dont know wheither i was dreaming of not, But i stop that thought to think again, if it was a dream and u diddnt exist,then how did i know your name, of did i make u up, along with every one else. Maybe i'm going crazy, from without u i dont know. But i want to find out. Do u think a crazy person can be the one to digiosed themselves?? Lets hope for...
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