#1: TITANIC:
Jon: What sorrow, I feel for these characters.. Red haired lady.. Old ladies.. Currently DROWNING human.. And 101 don-..
One hundred and what!?.. One hundred and what now!?…. (camera zooms in on the dog) BONGO!? IS THAT YOU!?

#2: ARE u AFRIED OF THE DARK:
Man in movie: (two the little kids he locked in his house) Just answer this riddle. Than I'll let u go free.
Jon:TWO KIDS ARE GONNA DIE TONIGHT!!

#3: GOOSEBUMPS:
Jerry: Oh man, u and your dumb hobbies!
JonTron: Yeah, fuck u for being interested in things, u stupid bitch!

#4: TITANIC:
Jon: Wait, it's just a legend? It's just a silly old legend? I thought it was a real thing, like a real boot with people on it that sank and they died. I s'pose that means my girlfriend's not real then. I guess there were some signs along the way. [flashback starts] When we were at that restaurant, the waiter, he said, "Why did u order two meals and not eat one of them? u just left it there to get cold." and I said, "Curb your tongue! That's my lady, and soon she will be departing on the great steam liner known as the Titanic that is definitely a real ship in the real world." and he said, "...Wait, what?"

#5: TITANIC:
Old Man: Here u are. Let's hope it's a smooth crossing. (Gives a sinister smile and wiggles his eyebrows)
Jon: Excuse me, uh, the fuck did u just say!? Do u know something we don't? u got something to say? Why so devious? Wait a second... I recognize that voice. You're not really an old man! (He goes up and pulls the guy's head off) I knew it! He was the iceberg all along!

#6: TITANIC:
Jon: There's a where are they now sagment!? I'll tell u where they are now, AT THE BOTTOM OF THE FUCKING OCEAN, ARE u CRAZY?!?

#7: POKEYMON BOOTLEG:
Jon: Boy, pikachu dose that leg thing from Sonic 2.. Now Pikachu is turned into a ball, like.. Sonic, the, hedgehog.. Man, that's just Sonic, it's soni- (screaming) IT'S SONIC!!

#8: BANJO KAZOOHI/NUTS AND BOLTS:
Jon: Cars?.. Cars!?.. CAAAAARS!?
Jon: (scream singing) AND IIIIIIIII!!
Jon: (normal) hulst, holly SHIT!!
Jon: (scream singing) WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOOUU!!
Jon: (normal) CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO THIS TO ME!? GODDAMMIT!, HOW CAN u DO THIS TO ME!?!?

#9: BANJO KAZOOHI/NUTS AND BOLTS:
Jon: I mean, what if after Super Mario World, Nintendo released a teaser trailer for Super Mario 64, and upon release dag u are greeted with Mario CITY SIMULATOR!.. And than u put in the game, and Shigeru Miyamoto's ghost comes out, and goes "AH FUCKING, WHO LIKE'S THE MARIO GAMES, AM I RIGHT!?".. BYB!.. MAKING LEGEND OF ZELDA, INTO ZELDA MODERN WARFARE!!

#10: GOOSEBUMPS:
Larry: She's really cool.. u know, for a girl.
Jon: Wait, THAT'S not in the book.. In the book he describes her as kinda cute.. Oh Larry, your just. Your just a fucking asshole!

#11: GOOSEBUMPS:
JonTron: This fucking humming! That's like the joke voice people do when they're trying to pretend to act natural.
Police Officer: [knocking on door] NYPD! Open up!
[cut to Jon in the bathroom with a giant knife, both him and the mes covered in blood, and Jon looking paranoid].
JonTron: Can't a guy get some privacy? (begins to stab away, humming the same song).

#12: BARBIE:
Jon: Hi Barbie. I miss you. It's so quiet after u die. There's nothing. But the voices...they never stop. (beat) See u in an hour!

#13: POKEYMON BOOTLEG:
JonTron: Now this volgende one is actually one of my favoriete ones. It's called Pokémon Vietnamese Crystal. Yeah, that's actually what it's called.
Jacques (his pet parrot): That's racist.
JonTron: [turns around to Jacques]
JonTron: Now u listen here, pip-pip. A racist mind is a racist kind. You, u take that to sleep with u tonight cause I know, it's not gonna change hearts and minds in a day. u don't give a man a peanut, expect him to have a farm the volgende day. But it's aright. It's alright. One day, we will all be equal on this earth. Until then, I'm gonna give u a kiss, muffin.
[Jon kisses Jacques on the head]

#14: POOKEYMON BOOTLEG:
Camera man: Where u going?
Jon: I'm not doing this, I'm not playing this! u only live once!

#15: FOOD FIGHT:
JonTron: Is this like Toy Story rules of is this like, like The fontein rules, where there's no rules?
JonTron: [backing away] Oh God, help us. I think this is fontein rules.

#16: FOOD FIGHT:
JonTron: Let's celebrate. Yeah! Ugly people never win! That's the moral of the story, guys!

#17: FOOD FIGHT:
Jon: Am I dead yet!?

#18: TITANIC:
Jon: (the film is so bad he's pointing a gun at his head) Come on baby, I just want out!

#19: BANJO KAZOOHI/NUTS AND BOLTS:
JonTron: Oh geez. Oh darn it. They got fat.

#20: THE LOST WORLD:
JonTron: Jurasstic Park 2 had it all.. Dinosours.. Adventure.. (screaming, and camera shakes) AND JEFF GOLDBLUM!!.. CAN'T FAIL!!

#21:
Jontron: (kills Nostaglia Critc) That's for reviewing Food Battle!