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posted by simpleplan
1. When the teacher says to “take a seat”, u answer “take it where”.
2. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, u answer “Absent”.
3. When she calls roll, u answer “yo mama”.
4. When the teacher says something, u say “is that so?”
5. If u so happened to not turn in your homework say, your class pet ate it.
6. Tell your teacher you’ll turn in your homework, as soon as your parents finish doing it.
7. Tell your teacher u did not turn in your homework because u were watching TV.
8. Fold your homework into a cootie-catcher.
9. Fold your homework into a paper airplane and fly it to the teacher’s desk. Extra points if it hits the teachers head.
10. Beg your teacher for extensions on reports.
11. Whisper to your neighbor during a test, but claim it was the sugar ants on the floor.
12. Argue with your teacher about your test grade and claim it was supposed to be one of two points higher than it actually is.
13. While your teacher is grading papers in class, sharpen your pencil. Very loudly.
14. When the teacher says to stop, covertly break the lead and say “but it’s not sharpened”.
15. Roll your pencil across the desk.
16. Do drum rolls with your pencil. Use the head of the person in front of u as the cymbals.
17. Never bring a pen of pencil so u always have to borrow one from the teacher.
18. Return the pencil to the teacher, with the eraser end all chewed and slobbery.
19. Use crayon for important assignments. Purple crayon.
20. Lean your chair back so that it is balancing on only two legs. Extra points if u fall over backward.
21. Covertly chew gum in class. Extra points if u snap and crack it with out being caught.
22. When possible, eat food in class. Loud, crunchy food.
23. Go into the graphics options on the school computers, click graphics properties and click on rotation. Rotate 180 degrees. Extra points if the teacher can’t find out how to get it back the way it was.
24. Put wads of chewed gum on the end of your pencil.
25. Ask to be excused to the bathroom. Even if u just came from recess lunch.
26. When the teacher asks a question, raise your hand. If the teacher calls on you, ask if u can go to the bathroom.
27. Ask if u can be excused to go to the bathroom, then take a tour arround the school.
28. Put too many staples on your paper when u staple it. Extra points if u make a good design with them.
29. Write so small on your paper that the teacher can barely read it.
30. Bring brightly colored notebook paper to write on. Examples: neon pink, purple, red, orange, green…and so on.
31. Blurt out the antwoorden to the teachers questions.
32. When your teacher asks a question, wiggle in your zitplaats, stoel and shout “I know, I know!”
33. When the teacher ask a question, wave your hand like a palm boom in a hurricane and say “pick me, pick me!” When the teacher finally calls on you, say “never mind”.
34. Raise your hand. When the teacher calls on you, look innocent and say “I was just stretching”.
35. Raise your hand. When the teacher calls on u say “I wasn’t paying attention”.
36. Make basket shots with every paper u want to throw away. Extra points if u get a basket.
37. When the teacher calls on you, tell her the longest personal story u know.
38. When the teacher says “Pay attention please” reply “how much should I pay?”
39. When the teacher calls on you, talk so softly that the teacher can barely hear you. When she tells u to speak up, pretend to be dead on your desk.
40. When the teacher calls on u say “finally”—Even if u where picked first.
41. Count how many times your teacher says um. At the end of the period, present the grand total at the end of class.
42. For your book report, choose the shortest book with the most pictures u can find.
43. Whistle while u work.
44. Never seem to listen to directions.
45. Right after the teacher gives directions say “huh”.
46. Comb, brush, of braid your hair in class.
47. Bring a lizard, mouse, rat, exedra into class. “Accidentally” let it lose. Extra points if the teacher screams like a little girl.
48. Don’t work when the teacher is looking. Work when the teacher is working.
49. Sigh, “This is boring” heavily.
50. Laugh out loud for no reason.
51. Don’t talk to a substitute teacher because the is a “stranger”.
52. Never let your teacher finish a sentence without an interruption.
53. After everything your teacher says say “That’s what u think”.
54. If u have a substitute teacher, ask u and your vrienden to sit in all different places so that the substitute’s seating chart is all messed up.
55. Track sand into the classroom door “accident”.
56. Keep dropping your pencil.
57. Call her “grandma”.
58. Call him “grandpa”
59. Throw lots of spit wads.
60. Fall asleep in class. If the teacher wakes you, say “aww, I was dreaming u were actually nice”.
61. After class, cover every inch of the dry-erase board with dry-erase marker so that the teacher can not write anything on it.
62. Hide other boeken inside of text boeken and appear to be reading the text book.
63. After every time the teacher explains something ask “is that going to be on the test?”
64. After every time the teacher explains something say “well, duh”.
65. Make up humorous excuses for being late.
66. Forget to have your parents make excuses for being late.
67. Yell “Yessssssssss” after every time u finished something. Anything.
68. Annoy Ms. Thompson. AT ALL COST.
69. If Mr. Corley walks by, whistle innocently, and when he turns his back, run fast.
70. Make animal shows on projector.
71. Read your math book when u are supposed to be reading history. If the teacher asks why, say “oh, how did that get there?”
72. Read comic boeken hidden in your text books.
73. Ask a teacher how old she is. When she replies, put your hand over your hart-, hart and say “WOW!”
74. Ask the same vraag the teacher just finished answering 10 minuten ago.
75. Knock a heavy text book off your bureau again…and again…and again….and again….
76. Keep finding an excuse to keep walking in front of the projector.
77. Smudge up your paper so that it is hard to read.
78. Ask for help on something. Then say “never mind”. Then ask for help on the same thing 2 minuten later to annoy your teacher.
79. Make animal bunny ears to the teacher if she/he is infront of the projector.
80. Read out loud during silent reading time.
81. Pretend to fall asleep instead of following instructions. Then say “I don’t get it”.
82. Doodle on your desk. Big, hard to ignore doodles.
83. Write stupid vragen on your desk.
84. Put messages in your textbooks.
85. Always write in marker. Bright neon marker colors.
86. While the teacher is talking, roll your eyes. Then yawn and stretch. After that, gaze longingly out the window. Keep looking at the clock every five minutes. Sigh. Very loudly.
87. Whistle very loudly when the teacher is trying to concentrate.
88. Never look up a word in the dictionary. Always ask your teacher.
89. Make your id picture hard to read.
90. Put staples all over the floor.
91. If u have the guts, start a food fight. ?
92. Come in just after the klok, bell every day.
93. Complain about the food at the school cafeteria.
94. Pretend like u have only one brain cell.
95. Where sunglasses inside. Even if it is cloudy.
96. Laugh stupidly. Often.
97. Talk loudly about your favoriete show.
98. If u can, get the necessary materials to take over the p.a system. Then, play forty minuten of your favoriete cd over it. Extra points if u do not get caught.
99. Play coin football during silent reading time.
100. Gather your stuff ten minuten before class ends.
101. Run out of the classroom right after the bell. Before the teacher dismisses you.
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Source: 1280x800.com
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added by aromate
Source: gautier préaux
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added by liridonarama96
posted by nmdis
“BE A FRIEND”
Someone expected when i first met you
Didn't know what to think ... ah
We were so different
Not sure that you'd listen
Scared to share anything... Hey!
But then i found that u felt the same ... and that's when everything changed...

Sometimes when u need a friend
Need to be a friend
Gotta spin the whole picture around...Hey!
You need to share your life
Help someone learn to fly
Let the way u feel out
Yeah-Yeah
Let the magic began
Just be a friend

Na Na Na Na
Sometimes it takes u
A little meer strength
Ha Ha
Flying into the wind we get together
yeah, we make it better than we do it...
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posted by karolinak1999
«Fiction writing is great. u can make up almost anything.»
- Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel

«I'm convinced the Beatles are partly responsible for the fall of Communism.»
- Milos Forman, Film director

«When I'm a blonde, I can say the world is purple, and they'll believe me because they weren't listening to me.»
- Kylie Bax, Model/Actress, in Stuff magazine.

«The internet is a great way to get on the net.»
- Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate

«You guys, line up alphabetically door height.»
- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

«I get to go to lots of overseas places,...
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posted by TeddyGlitter
Let the Madness Begin


    I joined Fanpop a few days geleden and I am ready to spread some insanity! EVERYONE POST RANDOM PARAGRAPHS IN THE commentaren AND I'LL PUT THEM TOGETHER IN AN artikel AND POST IT ON RANDOM!
~TeddyGlitter

A little girl had a big problem, in a big big world called reality. She had so much tests, and little fun, she eventually died because of insanity. There once was a Bellatrix who had a pet Regina. Regina liked to poop in people's yards so Bellatrix had to keep her wand out all the time (interprate as u please) to ensure that Regina Mills would not poop...
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I decided to write an artikel because some recent news was seriously pissing me off. (Actually my friend inspired me.)

This is an artikel about misconceptions on First Nations and Native Americans. I decided to toon everyone how some of their ideals on native people are WRONG. (mostly in Canada, I don't know what goes on in America...)

I've had people ask me crazy things, and assume really STUPID things about natives that quite frankly are not true. How do I know? I'm a full native who's lived on a reservation her whole life. That's how.

If u commentaar on something u believe is true, then...
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It all started when a young man without much money he was gegeven a Nintendo 64. The young man, who wanted to play but did not have the fat wallet, decided that a good option was to buy cartridges. And I was lucky because just the dag after u give away the console, an old man opened a garage sale in which, between furniture, lamps, utensils, carpentry and other unnecessary objects, calling his presence a small patroon, cartridge of Majora's Mask ( a game of the series The Legend of Zelda). As the old man who sold the game ... well, let's say that her appearance did not inspire much confidence to the...
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posted by Nein-Nein
 Stomping the glass
Stomping the glass
What's the strangest thing you've seen at a wedding? A drunken best man? An unusual theme? A few seriously bad dancers? Such occurrences might be surprising , here are some strange wedding traditions .........

STOMPING THE GLASS :
Anyone who's been to a Jewish wedding has witnessed the groom stomping on a glass wrapped in a napkin of cloth. In most cases, the groom breaks the glass after the rings are exchanged, stepping on it with his right foot. Then the guests yell "mazel tov!"

WEDDING NIGHT INTERRUPTION :
On a couple's wedding night, a large gathering of friends, family members and other wedding...
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posted by australia-101
Desktop Fun Prank

This works best on someone without much computer knowledge. If u know of someone who is constantly talking about how stupid their PC is, of always seem to be lucky enough to get the newest virus before anyone else...this trick is for them.



You will need:

- Access to their computer
- Ability to take screenshots, change desktop wallpaper, and other basic computer skills


How this prank works:
You take a screenshot of someone's desktop (with of without apps running of photoshopping "enhancements"), than place that image as their desktop wallpaper. If u are decent with using photoshop...
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posted by Alma_
Chuck Norris Jokes

-Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

-Only Chuck Norris knows the true end of the movie Inception

-When Chuck Norris throws a boomarang it doesn't dare come back

-Do u know how many push ups Chuck Norris has done? All of them

-Neil Armstrong never went to the moon for NASA, he was trying to run away from Chuck Norris

-Chuck Norris knows the letter after Z

-Chuck Norris was the alien who told the Egyptians how to invent the pyramid

-What's Chuck Norris' favoriete Number?....................CHUCK NORRIS

-Superman wears Chuck Norris underpants.

-When Chuck Norris falls out of a boot he dosn't get wet the water gets Chuck Norrised

-Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants out of them.

-Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

-Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
I got really bored last night and decided to look these up. So...yeah. Some small roles are included.


Italy and Kid

Narrator and Liz

Greece and Spirit

Chibitalia and Yumi

America and Justin

England and Harvar

France and Giriko

Russia and the clowns

HRE and Jack the Ripper
Austria and Dr.Stein

Hungary and Medusa

Liechtenstein and Patty

Belarus and Tsubaki

Lithuania and Ox

Sweden and Mifune

Sealand and Crona

Rome and Eibon

......Yep. I'm most likely missing some, though.
"Hey guess what?" Lauren, my best friend, zei as we sat in the computer room of my house, looking at Katy Perry muziek videos. I looked over and answered, "What?". She pulled out a small card with a "BK" watermark on it.
"I got a $10 gift card to Burger King!" She exclaimed. "The jellybeans shall be praised!" I jumped up and immediately grabbed the keys of my car, a blue 2012 Ford mustang Shelby GT500.
"We need to go." I begged. Burger King was one of my all-time favoriete fast food restaurants. I had to go!
"Take out of dine-in?" Lauren asked, standing up. I thought for a second.
"Both!"...
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posted by happyfreak
A friend of mine has another friend that is addicted to meth. She found this and gave it to her friend. She then gave me a copy because she zei it was sad and cared enough to let me know what meth is and does.

This poem was written door a young Indiana girl who was in jail for drug charges, and was addicted to Meth. She wrote this while in jail. As u will soon read, she fully grasped the horrors of the drug, as she tells in this simple, yet profound poem. She was released from jail, but, true to her story, the drug owned her. They found her dead not long after, with the needle still in her...
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25 REASONS WHY I OWE MY MOTHER


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .


"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.


"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .


"If u don't straighten up, I'm going to knock u into the middle of volgende week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.


" Because I zei so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me meer LOGIC .


"If u fall out of that schommel, swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.


"Make sure...
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MonaVie
Supports your body’s antioxidant and nutritional needs.





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MonaVie features a delicious blend of the Brazilian açai berry—one of nature’s top, boven superfoods—and 18 other body-beneficial fruits. This Balance-Variety-Moderation approach to nutrition delivers powerful antioxidants and phytonutrients to help fight free radicals and maintain your body’s globaal, algemene health.

Offers potent antioxidant protection against free radicals.
Features a wide array of nutrients for optimal health.
Delivers the antioxidant...
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posted by patrisha727
A typical American eats 28 pigs in his/her lifetime.

Americans eat 20.7 pounds of candy per person annually. The Dutch eat three times as much.

Americans spend approximately $25 billion each jaar on beer.

Americans spent an estimated $267 billion dining out in 1993.

An etiquette writer of the 1840's advised, "Ladies may wipe their lips on the tablecloth, but not blow their noses on it."

Aunt Jemima pancake flour, invented in 1889, was the first ready-mix food to be sold commercially.

Caffeine: there are 100 to 150 milligrams of caffeine in an eight-ounce cup of brewed coffee, 10 milligrams...
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