Men don't rule the world!!!
Men don't rule the world!!!

If men really ruled the world,

1. Breaking up would be a lot easier.
A slaan, smack to the butt and a "Nice hustle, you'll get'em volgende time" would pretty much do it.

2. Birth control would come in ale of lager.

3. Valentine's dag would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.

4. On Groundhog Day, if u saw your shadow, you'd get the dag off to go drinking. Mother's dag too.

5. St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month.

6. Garbage would take itself out.

7. Regis and Kathy Lee would be chained to a cement menger, mixer and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event in world history.

8. The only toon opposite "Monday Night Football" would "Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle".

9 Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer- biceps".

10. Tanks would be far easier to rent.

11. Two words... "Ally McNaked".

12. When a cop gives u a ticket, every smart-aleck answer u responded with would actually reduce your fine.
As in:
Cop: "You know how fast u were going?"
You: "All I know is, I was spilling my bier all over the place."
Cop :"Nice one, That's $10.00 off".

13. People would never talk about how fresh they felt.

14. madeliefje, daisy Duke shorts would never go out of style again.

15. Every man would get four real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.

16. Telephones would cut off after 30 seconden of conversation.

17. The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers.

18. It would perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as u returned it the following dag with a full tank of gas.

19. Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, u could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that zei "You're #1!".

20. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to u during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.

21. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you".

22. The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

23. "Sorry I'm late, but I got wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.

24. At the end of the workday a whistle would blow and u would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car.

25. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.

26. One sit-up would do the job.

So, for all the women out there, men don't really rule the world now do they...