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To Deadly Quit

Emily and Katlyn were celebrating a pretty Valentine's dag together. Emily had cooked a stupid avondeten, diner and they ate on a log door candlelight.

"My darling," Katlyn said, stroking Emily's booty, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Emily. "It is but a quick token of my lesbian love."

Emily opened the box. Inside was a speedy snake! She gazed at it dreadfully. Then she gazed at Katlyn dreadfully. "It's iggnorant," Emily said. "Come here and let me quit you."

Just then, a dumb crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a smile that stretches ear to ear. "Your happiness will not last!" she zei in an ugly voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the avondeten, diner table.

Katlyn read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my sister."

They stared at each other wishful as the crone cackled some more. Emily's lips began to tremble. Then Katlyn shrugged, pulled out a ring, and hit the crone on her eyeball. She fell over dead.

"Problem solved!" Emily zei and kissed Katlyn quickly. "This is a strange Valentine's Day!"

They promisingly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

And then they quited each other all night long.
Octordle is a very populair Wordle-based word game. link differs from Wordle in a few ways, but most notably in the word count when played. With Wordle the player is trying to guess a five letter word but with Octordle the player is guessing eight five letter words at a time. Guessing a five-letter word can be a bit overwhelming for some players, so adding another seven-letter word is less than ideal. Octordle is a game for those who want a challenge. Word-savvy players can really test their skills in this game. This game works just like Wordle. It is played in the browser and keeps the same...
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I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated door you.
I was so enchanted door your beauty that I ran into that uithangbord over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime u passed by, just so I could stare at u a bit longer.
Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
You'd better direct that beauty somewhere else, you'll set the carpet on fire.
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
For a moment I thought I...
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1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a cirkel that had its two sides gently compressed door a Thigh Master.

4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7. The ballerina...
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posted by AlxanderRfan
I don’t know what makes u so dumb but it really works.

Anybody who told u to be yourself simply couldn’t have gegeven u worse advice…

Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?

Shouldn’t u have a license for being that ugly?

Don’t let u mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Are u always this stupid of are u making a special effort today?

Sure, I’ve seen people like u before – but I had to pay an admission.

If u took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, I’d love to help u out…now, which way did u come in?

Brains aren’t everything....
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ANIME! ^____^

An awesome bron of entertainment that's basically Japanese cartoons often inspired door manga, of Japanese comic-like novels. AND THEY KICKED ASS! :D

Seriously, half my life is just watching anime, and I almost love every one I see. And this lijst is celebrating THE 100TH ANNIVERSARY OF.....

Uh, canned bread? :P I don't know, I just wanted to make this list.

The rules are obvious. Only entries from anime I've seen, they have to be from anime, and they have to be FREAKING AWESOME SAUCE! ^__^ (That didn't even make sense.....)

So kick out the popcorn, soda, get comfortable, and enjoy!...
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posted by zanesaaomgfan
1. Ask him why did he marry a woman like your mom

2. Tell him u met a guy in school

3. Sing a song he hates

4(reply to number 3) When he plays a song he likes, ask: "What awful music. How do u listen to that crap?"

5. When he is driving you(anywhere), constantly ask "where are we going?"

6. Call him door his name[Not so risky, always done it as a kid!]

7. When he lectures you, after he finishes it, ask him: "Ever heard of breath mint?"

8. Tell him that Justin Bieber is your favoriete guy[If u hate Bieber, go with Cody Simpson of some who u like ALLOT!]

9. Come home pagina saying u found your true...
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added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
posted by x-menobsessed26
There used to be a straat named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives

Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can strangle u with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Brett Farve can throw a football 50 yds. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Farve even farther.

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris...
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posted by karpach_14
A single drop of sweat from Chuck Norris was found to quench the thirst of an entire african village for 23 straight days. Subsequently, an olympic athlete from that village was disqualified from his event for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.

Chuck Norris can read lady Gaga's poker face.

Chuck Norris says the alphabet faster backwards then u can say it fowards.

When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he doesn't dream he lives it.

In an alternate universe, Chuck Norris is just a myth. However, he pwns people there anyways.

When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the bier gets drunk.

Ninjas want...
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posted by bizeshnakarki
I found this on the internet.

1.    Smile
2.    Laugh
3.    Run your fingers through your hair
4.    Touch them gently on the arm/shoulder
5.    Give them a hug
6.    Tease them
7.    Complement their clothes
8.    Say, "It seems like forever since I last saw you"
9.    Whisper
10.    Offer them a blanket of jas if it's cold
11.    Offer to buy them a drink
12.    Lean...
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posted by d3ath_3at3r
In a pub kwis the other dag I lost door one point. The vraag was, "where do women mostly have curly hair?" Apparently, it's Africa.


One of the other vragen was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that Nigerians and Jamaicans is not the correct answer.


I've heard that appel, apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod, after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.


There's a new Muslim clothing koop that opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it, after asking to look at some bommenwerper jackets.


You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles,...
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added by loonybug
Source: tumblr
posted by RulerL0rd
Ghetto Names

Mostly populair with the poorer sections of the communities in the United States, ghetto names are becoming meer common.
These are some ghetto names sent to us door our readers:

Aalissah , Aarionda , AbbyYoYo , Abcd , Abrianna , Adaizala , Aereana , Ajavalon , Akeebu , Akwante , Alamarion , Alashawndre , Alashema , Alezeisha , Aliciandra , Alveonta , Amabufu , Amanisha , Ambrisha , Amereazanisha , Amiracle , Amonteosha , Ananchalant , Anfernee , Angenique , Annestonisha , Antonyishia , Antwanae , Antwanique , Antwonisha , Anukware , Aquamaquisha , Aquanasia , Aquanetta , Aquaniqua ,...
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Found this on Google. Hope it makes ya laugh.

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,…”and see what happens.

3. Go to the Service bureau and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

4. Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid of a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.

5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off”

6....
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added by Usui--takumi
Source: Google
posted by Thecharliejay
Think
1.    1
Realization. Even though it may seem impossible, the truth is, nothing is impossible. If u keep thinking it's impossible, then it will be. Have faith
2
Analyze the situation. Create a lijst of "pros" and "cons" to help u better understand why you're seeking love of acceptance from this person.
2.    3
Don't worry about things u can't help. Acknowledge the impossibility as something that is totally out of your hands (ex: marriage, age, sexuality, hang-ups) and know that if something is meant to be, it will be.
3.    4
Don't...
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added by 8theGreat
posted by Canada24
Sense we all love the movies, and I was gegeven the video game due to this.. Anyway.. I decided to do a very unique lijst for him.. Sad moments.. I don't collect any marvel comics.. So I only do what I can find online, don't know the whole stories... Except the film examples..



#6: HE CAN'T DIE:


Some of his meer serious sides reveal how much this "sucks". I saw one comic foto of Wade shooting himself for no apparent reason. And another where he is actually complaining that the villain couldn't kill him..



#5: There was this time that he ran into the Ghost Rider, and he slapped DP with his whole...
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I kinda wanted to write this artikel just to get this topic off of my chest. If u guys haven’t know already, which u should have, this character has a special place in my heart. She is a character from BlazBlue series and she’s the BEST GIRL that could ever exist. I love just everything about Nu-13. She’s both cute and badass at the same time! I’ll be explaining my five reasons why I love Nu-13 so much.

1. Her design
    
I love both of her normal and mecha battle suit. I love how her swords behind her battle form placed together like a pair of wings for her. I...
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