I got this off an e-mail from a friend, so this is not mine and I take no claim in it. Please don't do these things in real life, it's just for fun and a good laugh. And if u do do these things (number 4 fo example), than I'm sorry but you're really dumb.
Enjoy!
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6 Ways On How To Deal With haai Attacks:
1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
meer than 99% of haai attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if u are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.
2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there are always fat people in the water with you. Odds are that u can swim faster than them- increasing your chances of escape.
3) SUNBLOCK
Replace the sunblock of the person volgende to u with BBQ rib sauce.
4) DON'T GO INTO THE WATER WITHOUT A KNIFE
As soon as u spot a shark- furiously stab the person volgende to you. As soon as he is bleeding proufusely- swim away as fast as u can.
5) LISTEN CAREFULLY
Every haai has a theme song. If u here the following- swim for your life: da-dam. da-dam. da-dam if it's fast like this: dadam, dadam, dadam- give up -you are already screwed.
6) DON'T PANIC
Stay calm if a haai has got you. At this late stage u are screwed in any case- survival is not an option... The people on the strand do not appreciate someone screaming & shouting like a lunatic- it just isn't pleasant -think of the children damnit!
Happy swimming! :D
Enjoy!
__________________________________________________
6 Ways On How To Deal With haai Attacks:
1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
meer than 99% of haai attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if u are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.
2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there are always fat people in the water with you. Odds are that u can swim faster than them- increasing your chances of escape.
3) SUNBLOCK
Replace the sunblock of the person volgende to u with BBQ rib sauce.
4) DON'T GO INTO THE WATER WITHOUT A KNIFE
As soon as u spot a shark- furiously stab the person volgende to you. As soon as he is bleeding proufusely- swim away as fast as u can.
5) LISTEN CAREFULLY
Every haai has a theme song. If u here the following- swim for your life: da-dam. da-dam. da-dam if it's fast like this: dadam, dadam, dadam- give up -you are already screwed.
6) DON'T PANIC
Stay calm if a haai has got you. At this late stage u are screwed in any case- survival is not an option... The people on the strand do not appreciate someone screaming & shouting like a lunatic- it just isn't pleasant -think of the children damnit!
Happy swimming! :D
In the weekend’s least shocking development, Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry locked lips. Crazy, right?! (And door crazy, I mean not crazy at all.)
Cyrus was singing the Bangerz ballad “Adore You” at an L.A. concert when she climbed off the stage and summoned Perry, who was in the front row, to come lean in for a quick peck. Cyrus then backed up and squealed like she was surprised door her own mischief, which, okay, was pretty adorable. And the whole thing was caught on video, because of course it was. But really, did everyone forget that Perry’s first hit was called “I Kissed a Girl“?
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Perry geplaatst an after-shot of the kiss on her Twitter with the caption, “I adore u @MileyCyrus.” No regrets, just love.
Cyrus was singing the Bangerz ballad “Adore You” at an L.A. concert when she climbed off the stage and summoned Perry, who was in the front row, to come lean in for a quick peck. Cyrus then backed up and squealed like she was surprised door her own mischief, which, okay, was pretty adorable. And the whole thing was caught on video, because of course it was. But really, did everyone forget that Perry’s first hit was called “I Kissed a Girl“?
GET meer EW: Subscribe to the magazine for only 33¢ an issue!
Perry geplaatst an after-shot of the kiss on her Twitter with the caption, “I adore u @MileyCyrus.” No regrets, just love.
