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posted by Tamar20
Have u ever wanted to annoy someone so bad that they want to kill you? Then this artikel is right for you! Hahaha. u know I've tried most of them and it does work. :P

1. Use potty humor. Announce to them that u have to go to the bathroom, and that u think that they should go too, as they have been holding it in for quite a while. When they do go to the bathroom, call out to them things like: "Are u doing okay in there?". To make it even meer annoying, if there are other people in the bathroom, proudly announce to them: "My friend is in there," pointing at the bathroom stall. When you...
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posted by ilovepenguins
I didn't write this!


Sell used bus tickets. Claim they are for half the price.

Get on the bus, grinning widely. As soon as the bus begins to move, burst into song. When u arrive at the volgende stop, stop singing. Step off the bus backwards, still grinning widely.

If u are seated between two passengers, yawn loudly, strech, and put your arms around them.

Greet passengers with a big hug, handshake, smile and say ³Hi, call me Norman²

Put a leash on a friend and walk him/her onto the bus. Insist he/she is a dog and should go for half fare.

When arriving at your stop, do not push the button to...
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posted by Saturnluv39
It is easy to speak and write in Pig Latin, so we all should know how to do it! I'm gonna teach u all how to do it!
1. Put the first letter of the word in the back of the word. If the first letter is a vowel, leave it in the front.

2. Add 'ay' to the end of the word.

example:
1. latin
2. atinl
3. atinlay

example:
1. after
2. after
3. afteray

Now u know how to do it!
Now, if u want to try it out, please translate this sentence into pig latin, and toon your results in a comment:
because the web should revolve around you

enter your translation results, and if u win, u get the prize. I will tell the winner on Dec. 2nd, 2009. If u are a winner check everything on your profile.
added by JustHuddy
added by r-pattz
Source: tumblr, where else?
added by popalj
posted by ultimatefredde
1. Guys for gods sake, dont pretend being something u aren´t girls have a sixth sense we don´t have and find out sooner of later

2. Dance!

3.Flirt, they aren´t the only ones who should do this.

4.Tell her what u really enjoy in life

5.Help them out when needed.

6.Avoid playing those "Gay games" with your pals, it´s just not right

7.avoid grabbing your "parts" on public. Really.

8.Be original, with gifts, don´t just give flowers, of take her to dinner, also sometimes a card of a simple walk in the park is good to try

9.Be romantic and take shyness away

10. Express your feelings, u wont die...
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posted by merlinfanatic
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four vragen to determine the level of your intellect.
Your antwoorden must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating of wasting time.
And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: u are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in seconde place.
In which position are u now?

Answer:
If u answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. u overtook the seconde runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the volgende vraag try not to be so dumb.
2 : If u overtake the last...
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posted by JonasLuver1
Why Guys Love Girls:

1. The way they always smell good even if it’s just shampoo
2. The way they always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. The ease in which they fit into our ams
5. The way they kiss u ad make everything alright in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the it’s all worthwhile
8. The way they are always warm even if it’s minus 30 degrees
9. The way the look good no matter what they wear
10. The way she fished for compliments even though u both know she’s the most beautiful...
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posted by ilovetech29
1."My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."
2."Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."
3."Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."
4."Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating."
5."Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a boom and misplaced his hip."
6."John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face."
7."Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part."
8."Megan...
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Just reading some of the Terminator Quotes through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!


Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash dag tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.


I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. u might get annoyed door it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
posted by lloonny
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a hart-, hart attack. His hart-, hart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first u don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on brand with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....
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INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids door their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and GIR in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. GIR simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

GIR gasps in shock....
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posted by KateKicksAss
 This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!
This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!
Of course, if u are TRULY random, u shouldn't even need a guide, O_O

Randomness, randomosity, randomology, whatever u may call it, is using improvisation to create original humorous phrases of monologues of pine cones on the spot. 'Randomosity' is fun to express in the presence of vrienden of logging companies, but can quickly become extremely obnoxious. Have fun with your randomness, don't force it. Remember, if u got it, Flaunt it!

Steps

1. Break free of conventional rules. Finishing your sentences is not mandatory, merely optional and u can do it on Tuesdays but not on Wednesdays...
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posted by invadercalliope
When u turn around, who is that behind you?
Bury your claws in the darkness and shred the night
The raindrops turn to drops of blood and trickle down your cheek
If u have no place to return to
Stop on this finger, on this finger of mine
Where the evening cicadas cry in the forbidden forest
u cannot turn back anymore

__________________________________________________

furimuita sono ushiro no sorewa dare
kurayami ni tsume wo tatete yoru wo hikisaita
amadare wa chi no shizuku to natte hoho wo tsutaiochiru
mou dekonimo kaeru basho ga nainara
kono yubi tomare watashi no yubi ni
sono yubi goto tsuretetteageru
higurashi ga naku akazu no mori de
atomodori wa mou dekinai
"An old woman haunted me!"

One night my and door brothers and I were sleeping up stairs while my mom was downstairs reading. I was lying in bed and heard this light stomping sound. Then the stomping sound got a little heavier. Soon, it became so loud that my brothers and I all came out of our room because we were scared. My mom had heard it too and she thought it was one of us playing a joke, but it wasn't - we were all in bed! We had no idea what to make of it and were really freaked out. But then, things got creepier....

"We found her stuff in the attic, her name was Tamara!"

I went over to...
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posted by yoshifan1976
Doctor Mario was in his office when suddenly there was an urgent phone call. It was Daisy. "Mario, come quick. Luigi's very sick." "I'll be there right now, Daisy", Mario told her. Nurse perzik was very concerned. "What's wrong, Mario?" "Luigi's sick", he answered with worry. "Go", perzik told him kindly. "I can take care of things here." "Thanks, Peach". He gave her a kiss and then rode over to Luigi and Daisy's house. madeliefje, daisy hugged Mario and led him upstairs. "Hey little brother", he smiled at Luigi. Luigi smiled back. He loves his big brother Mario. No one understood the brotherly bond between...
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added by fatoshleo
added by fatoshleo
added by victoria7011
Source: google