Dearest The Office,
Until the writers are paid, I will feel an emptiness in my hart-, hart every Thursday. u are my favoriete toon and have been for a number of years. I want u to know that this letter is NOT saying goodbye. I also want u to know that I do realize how insane it is to write a letter to a televisie toon and its characters. However, I am home pagina sick and bored out of my mind, so here goes...
Michael Gary Scott: u goofy idiot. You're a loveable dumbass. u have very little class at all, as we have observed through your Hooters obsession ("I'll have the chicken breast, hold the chicken.") your inexplicable attacks towards Toby ("I hate so much about the things that u choose to be.") and your globaal, algemene uncouth-ness in general. I think u and Jan make a great couple in the most messed-up way possible. If u break up with her, please let it be because of something besides the fact that she doesn't like her implants. Until the strike ends, I will make sure your memory lives on forever door thinking and/or saying "That's what she said," whenever the opportunity arises.
Dwight Kurt "Danger" Schrute: u are so funny when u are being serious. u are one of the most devoted people I know. I honestly hope that u fulfill your life-long dream of dying in your bureau chair. I am undecided about how to feel about your clinginess to Michael. Sometimes it's rather annyoing, and sometimes it is sweet and/or hilarious. u and Angela are a great couple. Please try to win her back without hurting Andy, as I think u two have the potential to be great friends. Your concussion-induced niceness will forever live on in my mind, as well as the hilarious things u zei when being driven to the hospital ("You can't brand me, I don't work in this van!"). I will always remember Mr. A. mes and your role as The Overkill Killer. To preserve your memory until the strike ends, I will find one person and be completely devoted to them for the rest of my life, no matter what, even if they call in sick when they're really just going to magic camp.
Jim Halpert: u are the most loveable person I know, which makes it extra sad that u are a fictional character. I have grown to accept the fact that u will forever love Pam Beesly, and I even celebrate it. Your camera looks and clever quips will forever steal my hart-, hart like poker chips. Your undying classiness towards ridiculous people such as Michael Scott will always feed my respect for you. Your awesome pranks towards Dwight will ALWAYS make me laugh, though I believe your best prank was towards Andy. Jim, have u ever considered the fact that perhaps u are in the ceiling? I will preserve your memory until the strike ends door being as nice as possible towards all the asses I know.
Pamela Beesly: u are an amazing person. u manage to deal with people such as Michael Scott while keeping your sense of humor. u were very strong during Season 3, when Jim and Karen were together. During your speech at strand Day, my hart-, hart swelled with pride. Though I wanted to kill u for getting back together with Roy, I appreciated the fact that it made u want to be meer honest with everybody, because u used to be kind of a doormat. Continue to try and keep Angela in her place, and follow your dreams. u will be a great artist someday, and u won the hart-, hart of Jim Halpert. Nice. You've made some pretty big mistakes along the way (Casino Night) but now that u and Jim are together and pulling pranks again, I know that everything will be okay. However, breaking up with Jim would cause me to dislike u for a loooong time, unless it was for a REALLY, REALLY good reason. I will preserve your memory until the strike ends door being as honest as possible with people who are not crazy and will not try to destroy bars when I tell them the cold, hard truth.
Angela Martin: u are a warrior, no matter how bitchy u may be towards Phyllis. u find a need to fight for your religious beliefs, your cats, and your man. Though I think it was rather foolish of u to start dating Andy, I understand your hurt over Dwight's mercy-killing of Sprinkles. I hope Garbage is doing okay. I am anxious to know what u named him, even though I love the name Garbage. In order to preserve your memory until the strike ends, I will judge as many people as possible.
Jan Levinson (No Gould): u are obviously a very messed up person. That's the only way u could possibly put up with a guy like Michael Scott. Though I am upset for u that u lost your corporate position to Ryan (ew.), I enjoy the new, lazy, poor version of your character. Plus I loves those sweats and sunglasses u wore in Money. In order to preserve your memory, I will attempt to be both professional and completely insane at the same time.
Andy Bernard, Kevin Malone, Meridith Palmer, Oscar Martinez, Creed Bratton, Phyliss Vance, Stanley Hudson, Kelly Kapoor and Toby Flenderson: Most of u are completely insane. Those sort-of-normal ones, I wish u happiness as u deal with the craziness that is the Scranton branch. u are all hilarious and I love u dearly. I have no idea how i will preserve the memories of all of you. I am just one person.
Roy Anderson & Karen Phillipelli: I don't care for either of you. At all. u stopped Jim and Pam from being together. Though sometimes u are good people, u both have those qualities that make me hate you.
Roy: u were just a horrible person overall, especially towards Pam. She was a great person and u took her for granted. Also, u tried to beat the crap out of Jim. And I will never forgive u for either of those things.
Karen: I know u have a good sense of humor and very pretty good with Jim, but u called Pam a teef and u played the "Needy Girlfriend" part a couple of times. Plus, u told Jim to verplaats to New York and forget Pam. And for that, I will never forgive you. However, I did like u in The Initiation and Grief Counseling. But that's it.
And no, I did not forget Ryan. I decided not to feed his ego door writing him a letter.
The Office, I will always love you. I honestly hope the strike ends very soon so I can continue laughing my ezel off every Thursday.
Sincerely,
jamfan4
