Having your very own dark and sexy vampire boyfriend would of course totally rock all sorts of awesome. But like most good things there are a few downsides to it as well. Why would it suck having a vampire as a boyfriend? Read on…
1. Vampire bite marks on your neck are way harder to cover up than a hickey some mortal boy may give you. It’ll take a bit meer than concealer to cover that baby up; I suggest investing in a lot of scarves.
2. u know how parents always want to have a nice family avondeten, diner with your new boy to get to know him better? Well, that’s a little hard for someone that only drinks blood. “Uhh… I’ll just have a steak… super rare.” I’m sure he’ll raise a few eyebrows during dinner.
3. No fun in the sun for u guys. Say goodbye to warm and sunny trips to the beach.
4. He uses speech from hundreds of years ago, which makes u scratch your head trying to figure out what the hell he is saying. “What hath thee wrought?” Say what?
5. Sleeping all dag so that u can hang out with him at night is totally killing your tan.
6. He is soooo much older and wiser than you. Meaning, u can’t win any arguments. He’ll be pulling out the immortality card whenever he can. “When you’re 500 years you’ll understand!” Lame.
7. Angst, lots of angst. Yes, he may have u in his life, someone to love and warm his cold blooded heart, but he’ll still have his emo days. Expect him to go into dark brooding mode a lot, going on and on about all the horrible things he did in his “early years.”
8. He is easily overwhelmed door our modern technology. Ever try explaining to a grandparent how to use a computer? Frustrating right? Imagine having to explain it to a centuries old vampire. “Back in my dag we had carrier pigeons, none of this e-mail of texting nonsense!”
9. u keep cutting your tongue on his sharp fangs. Sure, after a while u learn the art of kissing a vampire, but for a while there every kiss results in u nicking your tongue on those fangs. Then your tongue bleeds which triggers that blood lust of his, which is a whole other issue there. Some days u just aren’t in the mood for a good ol’ blood draining.
10. No warm cuddles. Being undead and all means he’s a bit on the chilly side, so you’re stuck cuddling a chunk of ice.
1. Vampire bite marks on your neck are way harder to cover up than a hickey some mortal boy may give you. It’ll take a bit meer than concealer to cover that baby up; I suggest investing in a lot of scarves.
2. u know how parents always want to have a nice family avondeten, diner with your new boy to get to know him better? Well, that’s a little hard for someone that only drinks blood. “Uhh… I’ll just have a steak… super rare.” I’m sure he’ll raise a few eyebrows during dinner.
3. No fun in the sun for u guys. Say goodbye to warm and sunny trips to the beach.
4. He uses speech from hundreds of years ago, which makes u scratch your head trying to figure out what the hell he is saying. “What hath thee wrought?” Say what?
5. Sleeping all dag so that u can hang out with him at night is totally killing your tan.
6. He is soooo much older and wiser than you. Meaning, u can’t win any arguments. He’ll be pulling out the immortality card whenever he can. “When you’re 500 years you’ll understand!” Lame.
7. Angst, lots of angst. Yes, he may have u in his life, someone to love and warm his cold blooded heart, but he’ll still have his emo days. Expect him to go into dark brooding mode a lot, going on and on about all the horrible things he did in his “early years.”
8. He is easily overwhelmed door our modern technology. Ever try explaining to a grandparent how to use a computer? Frustrating right? Imagine having to explain it to a centuries old vampire. “Back in my dag we had carrier pigeons, none of this e-mail of texting nonsense!”
9. u keep cutting your tongue on his sharp fangs. Sure, after a while u learn the art of kissing a vampire, but for a while there every kiss results in u nicking your tongue on those fangs. Then your tongue bleeds which triggers that blood lust of his, which is a whole other issue there. Some days u just aren’t in the mood for a good ol’ blood draining.
10. No warm cuddles. Being undead and all means he’s a bit on the chilly side, so you’re stuck cuddling a chunk of ice.