I stayed in my room all dag on Sunday, coming out once of twice to use the restroom down the hall. I didn't see Dad at all that day, which was a plus. Not enough to ease my remorse, though. I wanted so much to run to Micah and get the hell away from here. He, after all, was the only thing keeping me from killing myself right at this moment.

On Monday though, Dad knocked on my door, not so violently this time.

"Alessa! Get up now before you're late!" I dragged my limp body over to my closet and got dressed. I finished getting ready, and then was out the door. I missed Micah; I was late. I probably should've began running to school, but I didn't care.

"Alessandra, how nice of u to kom bij us," Mrs. Parkins zei as I took my zitplaats, stoel in first block. I looked up at her, and she looked right through me. Everyone else seemed to notice there wasn't something right with me. There were hushed whispers, and rumors were sure to spread. Those oughta be good.

I saw Micah in Math class, but there was a test and he didn't get a chance to come over to me. I knew he wanted to though; his face zei it all.

At lunch, I didn't talk much. Micah kept asking me if I was ok, I just nodded. Even though I was aching to let someone know, I couldn't gather up the courage to. I knew I'd only make things worse probably; I always do. Maybe if I hadn't gone out with Micah yesterday, I would've heard Dad yelling at Mom. I could've stopped it before it got too heated. I could've saved her life. My hands balled into fists on the table. Micah put his hands on mine, and rubbed them together.

"Alessa? What's wrong?" he asked for the millionth time. Just then, Gabby walked over. I didn't look up; I knew it was her from her obnoxiously roze sweater. She dumped her tray on my lap, sending her milk, mashed potatoes, and spaghetti all over me. I didn't move. I just squeezed my eyes shut.

"Oops," she zei in her annoying little voice. "Sorry 'bout that, Alessa! I meant to throw that in the trash!... Same thing, I guess!" she laughed. I stood up, brushed off what I could from my clothes, and went to the hallway. Micah caught up to me when I was at my locker, trying to open it. It was jammed, and I kicked it out of frustration. Well, that wasn't a bright idea; it hurt and I cursed when I hurt my toes. I slammed my fist into the metal. The tears spilled over then, and soon I was a sobbing mess once again.

"Alessa!" Micah said. He caught me as I sank to the floor, holding my face in my hands. He sat down volgende to me, and held me close. "Alessa, honey, please, please tell what's wrong." I opened my mouth to speak, but only staggered breaths came out.

"Sh-- Sh-- She's---!" I tried to speak. He rubbed my back, waiting patiently for a full answer to come out. "She's d-- d-- d-- dead!!" I shrieked. He was not expecting that answer.

"What? Who? Who's dead?" he asked urgently. I sniffed.

"My mom," I said.

"Oh my God... What happened?" he asked. I clamped my mouth shut, and brought my hands back up to my face. "Alessa, I'm so sorry! Why didn't u tell me?!" he asked. He wrapped his arms around me tighter and kissed the top, boven of my head. I took his hand in mine, and held it tight.

"I love you," I sobbed. "I love you, I love you, I love you..." I rambled on and on absentmindedly as I struggled to hold onto him and reality. The past couple of days just felt so surreal.

"I love u too, Alessa," he told me. He assured me everytime I zei it that he felt the same way. I rambled on for only a minute, but he still told me the same each time. After that, I just sobbed quietly into his shirt. He whispered soothing things into my ear, and almost lulled me to sleep. But lunch got over before I could, and I had to go to my volgende class. We stood up, and I wiped my tears away. Micah kissed my forehead.

"It's ok now," he zei softly. "I'll see u in a couple hours, ok?" I nodded and sniffed. I went to my volgende class sleepy and drowsy, and fought to stay awake. But I made it to the end of the day. Micah and I walked back, and I insisted I didn't want to go home. So we went to the lake instead, and sat on the bench that over looked the calm waters. Micah kept the conversations light, staying away from anything that might spark bad memories. We stayed there for at least two hours.

"I got to get home," he told me after a long while. "C'mon, I'll take u home." A lump rose in my throat. He became worried again. "It's ok! You'll be fine at home! Your mother is still with y---" he began, but I shook my head.

"I don't want to go home!" I insisted like I had earlier.

"Why not?" he asked. I stared at him, thinking.

"Micah, I'm scared," I admitted. He held out his hand, and I gave him mine.

"Why?" he asked again. I couldn't tell him everything, so I decided I'd partly tell him.

"My dad. He's very upset. It scares me."

"You'll be fine," he assured me. I bit my lip and nodded. I'd be able to survive another night, right? He walked me home, and kissed me before I left. I hugged him close.

"I love you," I zei again.

"I love u too," he zei again. He kissed me one meer time before leaving. I went inside, and straight up to my room to avoid Dad.

I need to get out of here.