"Ready, Jack?" Cat asked again. I sighed impatiently and nodded.
"Yeah! Just do it already!" She'd never done this before. Normally I would've done this myself, but I was too high right now, and despite that, I was still smart enough to know I shouldn't do this to myself right now.
"Okay..." Cat spoke warily. She got ready.
"Don't close your eyes!" I warned. She whined for a bit, then took a deep breath.
"Okay. Ready? One... Two... Three---" Cat shoved the needle through the side of my right nostril. I winced a bit. Cat freaked out meer than I did. "Oh my gosh! Are u okay?!" I took the needle from her and slipped in the nice nose ring I'd gotten. I wiggled my nose a bit.
"I'm fine. For crying out loud, Cat, u should be fine with this. u got your tongue and your eyebrow pierced!" I zei incredulously. Cat shook her head, her short roze hair bouncing from side to side.
"I wasn't the one doing it though!" I rolled my eyes. What a cunt.
"I think that looks pretty hot," Aric grinned, wrapping an arm around my waist. He leaned in and kissed me. He smelled like a mixture of weed and alcohol, a smell that still repulsed me. I pulled away and ducked my head, acting shy.
"Evelyn's gonna kill me," I grinned. She flipped out when I got my snake bites. This should blow that out of the water. Cat and Aric smiled and nodded back at me. "Hey, what time is it?" I asked. Cat pulled out her phone and checked.
"Almost six," she informed me. I stood up from my place in the grass.
"I gotta go, 'fore she freaks and calls DCFS, reporting me missing," I sighed. Aric and Cat stood up as well.
"See ya, Jack," Cat turned away and practically skipped off. Aric wrapped both arms and pulled me closer to him. I sighed, exaggerated. He leaned his head down on my shoulder, swaying slightly as he cradled me in his arms.
"I love you," he spoke softly. I rolled my eyes. I patted his back and started to untangle myself from him.
"Yup. u too," I muttered. He kissed me again. I've had enough. I turned and started off towards Evelyn's house. It was a short walk. Evelyn's house is fairly close to the school; which was both convenient and a pain in the ass. It meant I didn't have to ride the bus with all the assholes at our school, yet it also meant I had no excuse for being late.
I was sure to make a loud entrance once I got to Evelyn's house. I kicked the screen door open and it rattled when it hit the wall. Evelyn was shuffling around in the kitchen, looking for something. I tried to hide my eager smile.
"Hey!" I called out to her. She poked her head out of the kitchen. I couldn't hide my smile. She stared at me, her eyes locking on the new ring in my nose. I could see the profanities running through her mind. But she just shook her head and retreated back to the kitchen.
"Little shit," I heard her mutter. I chewed on the inside of my cheek. Not at all the reaction I'd been hoping for. She came back out a few moments later. "Start getting your stuff together," she said. She stared at me for a moment, then pointed a wooden spoon at me. "You're outta here." I raised my eyebrows, quite surprised. Taken back, but not phased.
"Really?" I wondered. She nodded, seeming relieved.
"Yep. Chad's gonna be here tomorrow after school." I nodded, taking it all in.
"Okay... Cool," I said. I went up to my room. Maybe the volgende house I go to will be bigger than Evelyn's rundown piece of shit place. Her upstairs was barely an upstairs. It was pretty much an attic with a bed in it. I was actually surprised I'd lasted so long here: almost a full year. New record. Chad should be pleased with me. I didn't have much to pack; I was meer than halfway done packing when Evelyn called for dinner. I went and sat down at the table. One thing I would miss: her cooking. We ate in silence. Evelyn looked stressed. I smirked a bit.
"So are u gonna miss me?" I asked cleverly, raising an eyebrow. She kept her eyes on her plate as she delicately pierced a pea.
"Mhm," she mumbled enthusiastically.
"Cause I'm sure gonna miss you," I continued. "I'm kind of sad to be leaving. We've had some pretty fun times, huh?"
"Mhm," she mumbled again. When I couldn't get anymore of a response from her, I gave up and ate my dinner. A little miffed that Evelyn had been pretty unresponsive since I got home, I went back to my room, and blasted my music. I got up on top, boven of my bed. I bounced up and down a bit, then jumped off, pounding my feet onto the floor. The house shook.
She hates it when I do this.
***
"Oh, Jack, why do u have to go?!" Cat complained the volgende dag at lunch. I didn't reply. I just chewed on my sandwich. Cat and Aric frowned, devastated.
"Will u still go to this school?" Aric asked hopefully. I shrugged.
"It's doubtful," I answered. He pouted.
"Jack, I'm going to miss u so much!" Cat whined. She actually looked like she was on the verge of tears. "Promise me we'll keep in touch!" I nodded slowly. Unlikely. Cat was okay, but she was extremely whiny and annoying. Aric? Maybe. He was useful for some... personal matters, but other than that, I could do without him.
"Sure," I muttered, my mouth full of food.
"That's not fair!" Aric growled. "Don't u have any say?"
"No," I disagreed.
"Why would Evelyn give u up?!" Cat asked incredulously. I almost laughed. I could lijst a bunch of reasons. "I mean, she's your mom for crying out loud!" I slammed my fist down on the table. Cat jumped.
"She's not my mom," I seethed. "She's my foster... guardian." And so what? I'm used to it. Evelyn wasn't the first to send me back, and she won't be the last.
***
"I gotta go," I grumbled again. "They're gonna send someone after me if I don't get home pagina soon." I knew that from experience. Too many times I've tried to run away. Too many times I've been caught. But Aric wouldn't let me go. He held on to my arms, and kept kissing me. I recoiled from each one, tugging harder to free myself. Somehow he still didn't get the message. Anger boiled inside me.
"Jack, I don't want u to go," he told me. I stopped fighting and looked up at him, in his eyes.
"Let. Me. Go," I zei sternly. I guess it finally broke through to him: I didn't care. In fact, I never cared, but he was probably still far from processing that much. He finally released my arms. He looked at me with his sad puppy dog eyes. I took a few steps backwards. "See ya," I said, then turned around and headed home.
"Jack," Chad, my social worker, zei when I got home. He was there, waiting for me on the porch. "For a moment I'd thought you'd tried running away again." I shrugged and let out a sigh.
"What can I say? After attempting and failing countless times I guess I've learned my lesson," I zei caustically. He came closer, and tipped my chin up with his hand. He sighed.
"What's that?" he asked, inquiring my nose ring. I grinned evilly.
"You like it?" I asked sarcastically. He rolled his eyes and let me go.
"Just what u need: another hole in your head..." he mumbled. I guffawed.
"Let me express myself!" I zei mockingly, taking a line from one of Chad's speeches; the one he gave to people who were new to fostering. Just let the kids express themselves...
"Are u ready to go?"
"I guess," I shrugged. "Just let me get my things."
"They're already in the car," Evelyn said, not missing a beat. I looked back and forth from her and Chad. I shrugged.
"Fine," I said. I went to get in the passenger side of Chad's car, and stopped halfway in the door. I waved at Evelyn. "I'll miss you! Too bad we didn't get to have our heartfelt goodbye---"
"Get in the car," Chad zei exasperated. He put a hand on the back of my head, and shoved me in the car, like I was a criminal being put into the back of a cop car. He closed my door, and got in on the other side.
"So, where to next?" I asked eagerly. Chad did not match my enthusiasm.
"Jack...." he began.
"I know, I know," I threw my head back, staring at the ceiling. "'What's wrong? Why can't u just try to make things work?' I've heard it all before."
"Jack, I could see being switched a few times, four at the most... What's the most you've been switched in a year?" Chad asked. I thought for a moment.
"Seven," I answered. I remembered that jaar clearly. One family lasted barely a week. Others only a few months. I had to give Evelyn credit for lasting almost a year; that was one of the longest homes I've had.
"And how many times have u been switched overall?"
"Countless," I nodded positively, ignoring his serious attitude.
"Jack, u can't keep doing this. Soon we're going to run out of places to send you."
"Please," I scoffed. "You've probably got a lijst a mile long for places to send me."
"I'm serious, Jack. This needs to stop. Please. Please try this time. Give them a chance." I stretched and yawned, and leaned against the window, watching the scenery fly past me.
"Whatever," I grumbled.
"Yeah! Just do it already!" She'd never done this before. Normally I would've done this myself, but I was too high right now, and despite that, I was still smart enough to know I shouldn't do this to myself right now.
"Okay..." Cat spoke warily. She got ready.
"Don't close your eyes!" I warned. She whined for a bit, then took a deep breath.
"Okay. Ready? One... Two... Three---" Cat shoved the needle through the side of my right nostril. I winced a bit. Cat freaked out meer than I did. "Oh my gosh! Are u okay?!" I took the needle from her and slipped in the nice nose ring I'd gotten. I wiggled my nose a bit.
"I'm fine. For crying out loud, Cat, u should be fine with this. u got your tongue and your eyebrow pierced!" I zei incredulously. Cat shook her head, her short roze hair bouncing from side to side.
"I wasn't the one doing it though!" I rolled my eyes. What a cunt.
"I think that looks pretty hot," Aric grinned, wrapping an arm around my waist. He leaned in and kissed me. He smelled like a mixture of weed and alcohol, a smell that still repulsed me. I pulled away and ducked my head, acting shy.
"Evelyn's gonna kill me," I grinned. She flipped out when I got my snake bites. This should blow that out of the water. Cat and Aric smiled and nodded back at me. "Hey, what time is it?" I asked. Cat pulled out her phone and checked.
"Almost six," she informed me. I stood up from my place in the grass.
"I gotta go, 'fore she freaks and calls DCFS, reporting me missing," I sighed. Aric and Cat stood up as well.
"See ya, Jack," Cat turned away and practically skipped off. Aric wrapped both arms and pulled me closer to him. I sighed, exaggerated. He leaned his head down on my shoulder, swaying slightly as he cradled me in his arms.
"I love you," he spoke softly. I rolled my eyes. I patted his back and started to untangle myself from him.
"Yup. u too," I muttered. He kissed me again. I've had enough. I turned and started off towards Evelyn's house. It was a short walk. Evelyn's house is fairly close to the school; which was both convenient and a pain in the ass. It meant I didn't have to ride the bus with all the assholes at our school, yet it also meant I had no excuse for being late.
I was sure to make a loud entrance once I got to Evelyn's house. I kicked the screen door open and it rattled when it hit the wall. Evelyn was shuffling around in the kitchen, looking for something. I tried to hide my eager smile.
"Hey!" I called out to her. She poked her head out of the kitchen. I couldn't hide my smile. She stared at me, her eyes locking on the new ring in my nose. I could see the profanities running through her mind. But she just shook her head and retreated back to the kitchen.
"Little shit," I heard her mutter. I chewed on the inside of my cheek. Not at all the reaction I'd been hoping for. She came back out a few moments later. "Start getting your stuff together," she said. She stared at me for a moment, then pointed a wooden spoon at me. "You're outta here." I raised my eyebrows, quite surprised. Taken back, but not phased.
"Really?" I wondered. She nodded, seeming relieved.
"Yep. Chad's gonna be here tomorrow after school." I nodded, taking it all in.
"Okay... Cool," I said. I went up to my room. Maybe the volgende house I go to will be bigger than Evelyn's rundown piece of shit place. Her upstairs was barely an upstairs. It was pretty much an attic with a bed in it. I was actually surprised I'd lasted so long here: almost a full year. New record. Chad should be pleased with me. I didn't have much to pack; I was meer than halfway done packing when Evelyn called for dinner. I went and sat down at the table. One thing I would miss: her cooking. We ate in silence. Evelyn looked stressed. I smirked a bit.
"So are u gonna miss me?" I asked cleverly, raising an eyebrow. She kept her eyes on her plate as she delicately pierced a pea.
"Mhm," she mumbled enthusiastically.
"Cause I'm sure gonna miss you," I continued. "I'm kind of sad to be leaving. We've had some pretty fun times, huh?"
"Mhm," she mumbled again. When I couldn't get anymore of a response from her, I gave up and ate my dinner. A little miffed that Evelyn had been pretty unresponsive since I got home, I went back to my room, and blasted my music. I got up on top, boven of my bed. I bounced up and down a bit, then jumped off, pounding my feet onto the floor. The house shook.
She hates it when I do this.
***
"Oh, Jack, why do u have to go?!" Cat complained the volgende dag at lunch. I didn't reply. I just chewed on my sandwich. Cat and Aric frowned, devastated.
"Will u still go to this school?" Aric asked hopefully. I shrugged.
"It's doubtful," I answered. He pouted.
"Jack, I'm going to miss u so much!" Cat whined. She actually looked like she was on the verge of tears. "Promise me we'll keep in touch!" I nodded slowly. Unlikely. Cat was okay, but she was extremely whiny and annoying. Aric? Maybe. He was useful for some... personal matters, but other than that, I could do without him.
"Sure," I muttered, my mouth full of food.
"That's not fair!" Aric growled. "Don't u have any say?"
"No," I disagreed.
"Why would Evelyn give u up?!" Cat asked incredulously. I almost laughed. I could lijst a bunch of reasons. "I mean, she's your mom for crying out loud!" I slammed my fist down on the table. Cat jumped.
"She's not my mom," I seethed. "She's my foster... guardian." And so what? I'm used to it. Evelyn wasn't the first to send me back, and she won't be the last.
***
"I gotta go," I grumbled again. "They're gonna send someone after me if I don't get home pagina soon." I knew that from experience. Too many times I've tried to run away. Too many times I've been caught. But Aric wouldn't let me go. He held on to my arms, and kept kissing me. I recoiled from each one, tugging harder to free myself. Somehow he still didn't get the message. Anger boiled inside me.
"Jack, I don't want u to go," he told me. I stopped fighting and looked up at him, in his eyes.
"Let. Me. Go," I zei sternly. I guess it finally broke through to him: I didn't care. In fact, I never cared, but he was probably still far from processing that much. He finally released my arms. He looked at me with his sad puppy dog eyes. I took a few steps backwards. "See ya," I said, then turned around and headed home.
"Jack," Chad, my social worker, zei when I got home. He was there, waiting for me on the porch. "For a moment I'd thought you'd tried running away again." I shrugged and let out a sigh.
"What can I say? After attempting and failing countless times I guess I've learned my lesson," I zei caustically. He came closer, and tipped my chin up with his hand. He sighed.
"What's that?" he asked, inquiring my nose ring. I grinned evilly.
"You like it?" I asked sarcastically. He rolled his eyes and let me go.
"Just what u need: another hole in your head..." he mumbled. I guffawed.
"Let me express myself!" I zei mockingly, taking a line from one of Chad's speeches; the one he gave to people who were new to fostering. Just let the kids express themselves...
"Are u ready to go?"
"I guess," I shrugged. "Just let me get my things."
"They're already in the car," Evelyn said, not missing a beat. I looked back and forth from her and Chad. I shrugged.
"Fine," I said. I went to get in the passenger side of Chad's car, and stopped halfway in the door. I waved at Evelyn. "I'll miss you! Too bad we didn't get to have our heartfelt goodbye---"
"Get in the car," Chad zei exasperated. He put a hand on the back of my head, and shoved me in the car, like I was a criminal being put into the back of a cop car. He closed my door, and got in on the other side.
"So, where to next?" I asked eagerly. Chad did not match my enthusiasm.
"Jack...." he began.
"I know, I know," I threw my head back, staring at the ceiling. "'What's wrong? Why can't u just try to make things work?' I've heard it all before."
"Jack, I could see being switched a few times, four at the most... What's the most you've been switched in a year?" Chad asked. I thought for a moment.
"Seven," I answered. I remembered that jaar clearly. One family lasted barely a week. Others only a few months. I had to give Evelyn credit for lasting almost a year; that was one of the longest homes I've had.
"And how many times have u been switched overall?"
"Countless," I nodded positively, ignoring his serious attitude.
"Jack, u can't keep doing this. Soon we're going to run out of places to send you."
"Please," I scoffed. "You've probably got a lijst a mile long for places to send me."
"I'm serious, Jack. This needs to stop. Please. Please try this time. Give them a chance." I stretched and yawned, and leaned against the window, watching the scenery fly past me.
"Whatever," I grumbled.
1 being the best 10 the worst
These boeken are great for summer reading I can honestly say that anyone that reads them will want to read them again.
10. Deacula door Bram Stoker
9. The Hobbit door Tolken
8. I'm the king of the kasteel door Susan Hill
7. 1984 door George Orwell
6. The secret diary of Adrian mol door Sue Townsend
5. Pride and prejudice door Jane Austine
4. Jane Eyre door charlotte Bronte
3. Lord of the Flies door William Golding
2. The curious incident of the dog in the nighttime door Mark Haddon
1 Rebecca door Daphne du Maurier
These boeken are great for summer reading I can honestly say that anyone that reads them will want to read them again.
10. Deacula door Bram Stoker
9. The Hobbit door Tolken
8. I'm the king of the kasteel door Susan Hill
7. 1984 door George Orwell
6. The secret diary of Adrian mol door Sue Townsend
5. Pride and prejudice door Jane Austine
4. Jane Eyre door charlotte Bronte
3. Lord of the Flies door William Golding
2. The curious incident of the dog in the nighttime door Mark Haddon
1 Rebecca door Daphne du Maurier
Remembering is just an invention of the mind,
So u need not try to remember something,
u remember it automatically.
Which is the best thing that u could have.
The good times that we had...
It is placed in a portion of your mind.
The bad times that we had...
It is placed in the other part of your mind.
u try to forget all of the bad things that happened,
But it is not possible.
It is stuck in you.
The bad things are painted in ink on your heart.
The good things, u try to remember.
And they stay.
They never go.
Never leave you.
Remembering is just an invention of the mind.
And, well...I guess I'm happy for that.
So I can remember every friend I've had,
Every boyfriend,
And all the good times.
Every memory will never leave my heart.
They will never be forsaken.
Never.
So u need not try to remember something,
u remember it automatically.
Which is the best thing that u could have.
The good times that we had...
It is placed in a portion of your mind.
The bad times that we had...
It is placed in the other part of your mind.
u try to forget all of the bad things that happened,
But it is not possible.
It is stuck in you.
The bad things are painted in ink on your heart.
The good things, u try to remember.
And they stay.
They never go.
Never leave you.
Remembering is just an invention of the mind.
And, well...I guess I'm happy for that.
So I can remember every friend I've had,
Every boyfriend,
And all the good times.
Every memory will never leave my heart.
They will never be forsaken.
Never.
*Poem I wrote for a class project on the holocaust.
DON'T COPY*
Different in ways they couldn't control
Killed for reasons we do not know
Ranging from ages young to old
The innocent people were taken from homes
Soulless people did not care
That the Jewish were in despair
Concentration camps ending their screams
Breaking apart their families
Not once did they do anything wrong
They opened their mouths and sang a sad song
Years went door and meer pain came
Until on one very special day
As one we all saved
The survivors of the Holocaust
DON'T COPY*
Different in ways they couldn't control
Killed for reasons we do not know
Ranging from ages young to old
The innocent people were taken from homes
Soulless people did not care
That the Jewish were in despair
Concentration camps ending their screams
Breaking apart their families
Not once did they do anything wrong
They opened their mouths and sang a sad song
Years went door and meer pain came
Until on one very special day
As one we all saved
The survivors of the Holocaust
Me and Those
Ever noticed that in this life
Everyone wants u to do something,
of be something
That sometimes u don’t want to be?
They are those!
u know them!
u probably have those in your house.
They are those who expect u to take a path,
Even though,
Sometimes,
u don’t want to take.
They are those who expect u to be great,
Even though,
Sometimes,
u prefer to be small and humble.
But do u think,
For the slightest second,
That they care about that?
They don’t!
They are your parents,
Your grandparents,
Your Uncles and aunts,
That since u were born,
Came up with a path for u in life.
But know this,
And say it to yourself:
They are those, they matter,
But me is I,
And I’m the main character.
Sitting right where u are
u have no claim on me
I know my own path
I am my own guide
u are nothing to me
No matter how u try
What do u care?
If I'm not doing it right
I'm not following you
I know my own path
I am my own guide
u don't know me
No matter how u try
Why are u here?
u know I don't want you
I told u to leave me
I am my own path
I know my own guide
u can't mold me
No matter how u try
Why do I feel compelled to write angsty poetry? I swear I'm not even that angsty. lol Oh well, I hope someone out there enjoys it.
A whisper in the cavern that goes unheard,
and a glimmer in the sky that stays unnoticed,
like the start of a brand new life, at the peak
of a mountain never scaled, lies in wait.
It can't be moved door any cosmic mover,
so no passing wind of fog will douse it.
Only your eyes can scratch out the image
of accept it, the light at the edge of your eyes.
Will u take hold of the key you're offered?
Stop singing of freedom; seek it instead?
To become a companion of the new
takes an ever expanding, soaring gaze.
But even door taking one step forward,
door placing one hand onto the mountain,
as the wind tugs gently at your back,
u will realize the cage has already been broken.
and a glimmer in the sky that stays unnoticed,
like the start of a brand new life, at the peak
of a mountain never scaled, lies in wait.
It can't be moved door any cosmic mover,
so no passing wind of fog will douse it.
Only your eyes can scratch out the image
of accept it, the light at the edge of your eyes.
Will u take hold of the key you're offered?
Stop singing of freedom; seek it instead?
To become a companion of the new
takes an ever expanding, soaring gaze.
But even door taking one step forward,
door placing one hand onto the mountain,
as the wind tugs gently at your back,
u will realize the cage has already been broken.