Hang yourself
You're a fag
Overdose on pills
Worthless
Suicidal freak
My eyes locked on the notes. The words mocking me as they make me read them over and over until someone spoke, "Like our notes?" Laughter burst out as I turned around, seeing everyone pointing at me. Tears coming from their eyes since they're laughing so hard. Ally caught my eye. Just as she walked door with her friend Julie, I looked down, wanting to hide in a dark corner, away from everyone and everything. If only I could talk to Ally, nobody else would matter. Their insults and bullying, well, I wouldn't give a two cent care anymore. Gripping the notes, I ripped them down furiously, everyone laughing just as the klok, bell rung. They will be late for class... but I'll be even meer late. The teachers already hate me for my lateness, but it doesn't bother me in any way anymore. I already disappoint them door my F average grades. I grabbed my World History textbook and notebook, slammed my locker door shut, and made a fast pace off to my class.
Eyes I captured as I walked into World History like a lost puppy. I heard whispering as Mr. Kennedy shook his head in my direction as in utter disappointment. I strolled towards my zitplaats, stoel in the back, hearing nothing but whispers and mumbles of "Emo", "Fag", and "I can't wait until he kills himself." I sat down, taking out my notebook which I do not write notes down in. I just doodle. It's not like Mr. Kennedy cares anyway. He's already gegeven up on me. Flipping through it, I found my drawing of Ally that I haven't finished. I do quite well with art, but I'm not good enough to be what u call 'talented' in. I shade in the eyeliner she wears and the flawless part of her hair that she always keeps tucked behind her ear. I smile to myself as my pencil draws meer pieces of her hair.
...The klok, bell rings before I could finish my drawing.
"Oh, what do u have here?" Jack asked, snatching my notebook right out of my hands.
"Hey! Give it back," I say, but way too quiet.
"What did u say?" he asked, moving closer as in mocking me. I didn't say anything. "Thought so." He turned back to the page of my drawing of Ally. "Gross, this drawing SUCKS! It's of Ally?!" His laugh was a deafening shriek.
"Just give it back," I mumbled, trying to grab it, but Jack just pulled back.
"I've so gotta toon this to Ally!"
"You can't do that!"
"Why can't I?"
"...Just... don't," I begged.
Jack departed from class. I hurried after him, but why am I? It's no use. He's way faster and knowing him, he's definitely going to reveal the drawing to Ally. And when she sees it... she's definitely going to be disgusted with me. Only if she'd realize who Jack's speaking of.
"That's him." Jack pointed straight at me as I made my way around the hallway corner.
Ally glanced up from my drawing. Her eyes wide of, what, embarrassment?
"Awh, little emo kid has a crush on Ally!" Mark teased, poking Ally against her arm. She looks as if she's gonna puke. I'm trying to stay strong to what she's going to say, but she didn't say a word. She escaped from everyone embarrassing her more.
"I see u have no chance!" Melanie howled in a laughter. Everyone joining in.
It's already bad enough having people bullying you. But having the girl you're desperately in love with running away when she first acknowledges that u have a crush on her...? Someone shoot me! Literally! I dashed to the boys' bathroom like lightning.
"I don't wanna be here!" I yelled into the stall's wall, punching it hard with my fists. Tears started to create its pattern in my eyes. Its pattern on its timing of pouring out. I want to die right now. I don't want to live any more---no one loves me! Not my mom, not my dad, not any of my family, no one at school. Absolutely no one at school. Hell, not even God loves me. Because if God loved me, he would have me killed door now. But has he? NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! The klok, bell rung, which meant time for lunch. I'm not hungry. I'm never hungry. So I'm not tonen up for lunch. I'll stay in this damn stall all dag for all I care. I sat down on the cold bathroom floor. Seeing a broken piece of glass, I picked it up, pulling back my sleeve. As my eyes scanned over the cuts I've already made, I slit one cut over one of the spaces where I've not yet cut. That relieved a little bit of the pain, but not enough. I slit another. Then another. Then another. I started sobbing into my hands at the thoughts of everyone with their hatred of me when I've done nothing wrong. Well, the wrong thing is being born and not committing suicide yet. Why can't ONE person love me?! Just ONE? I take the broken piece of glass and hold it up to my neck.
This'll make everyone happy. The voice in my head said.
Just do it!
I hold it closer.
"I can't do it!" I throw it across the floor. "I still have my dream of Ally! I can't ruin it!" I whisper.
She'll never love you! You're worthless!
I sob even more.
The klok, bell rings again. Which means for drama. The class I have with Ally. Reaching my locker, I see meer notes spread on the front.
Commit Suicide
FAG
Short penis
Why doesn't the staff ever see this?
"Okay Class, we're going to do a play on Romeo & Juliet," Ms. Hanigan said. "Now we'll be going to the stage to do auditions. This will take through your volgende class, too."
"YAY!" Everyone yelled.
We all approached the stage.
"In this hat, I will choose who will audition first."
She drew a small piece of paper out of the hat, unfolded it and read,
"Max."
Everyone made disgusted noises.
"Let's see how good u do. Now everyone including u Max, do your best, PLEASE."
Ms. Hanigan handed me the script, pointing to what lines to say, then I walked up on the stage, nervous as hell.
I started on the lines, looking around first, then back at the script.
I started:
door a name
I know not how to tell thee who I am:
My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself,
Because it is an enemy to thee;
Had I it written, I would tear the word.
Ms. Hanigan clapped like hell. "Amazing! volgende for Romeo! Three more!"
Neither, fair saint, if either thee dislike.
With love's light wings did I o'er-perch these walls;
For stony limits cannot hold love out,
And what love can do that dares love attempt;
Therefore thy kinsmen are no let to me.
Alack, there lies meer peril in thine eye
Than twenty of their swords: look thou but sweet,
And I am proof against their enmity.
I look up at her. "ONE more!"
I have night's mantel to hide me from their sight;
And but thou love me, let them find me here:
My life were better ended door their hate.
Than death prorogued, wanting of thy love.
"Now let's pick..." Ms. Hanigan went through the hat again.
"Jonah."
I handed him the script.
"If u get the part, the world's screwed," he said.
I sit in the middle of the room, watching as some others try for the parts.
"Ally!" Ms. Hanigan called out.
I sat up. I really want to hear Ally audition for the part of Juliet.
Ally stood up quick, taking the script from Lacie. Lacie looked absolutely disgusted. Ally reached the stage, and started on the script...
What man art thou that thus bescreen'd in night
So stumblest on my counsel?
"Fantastic, but I'm gonna need to hear three more!"
How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore?
The orchard walls are high and hard to climb,
And the place death, considering who thou art,
If any of my kinsmen find thee here.
I started to fall in love with her even more...
If they do see thee, they will murder thee.
She's... perfect.
"AMAZING!"
She's my Juliet.
After everyone got their chance in audition, Ms. Hanigan told us to stay in our seats because she has already picked for Romeo & Juliet.
"The part for Romeo will be Max!"
My eyes grew wide. Everyone yelled "Gross!"
"Be mature!" Ms. Hanigan hollered, sighing after.
"And Juliet will be..."
"Please be Ally. Please be Ally." I whispered very softly, crossing my fingers.
"Ally!"
Everyone gasped. Ally stared over at me with the widest eyes. I threw my eye sight on my lap, becoming depressed because she hates her part, I know it.
"Okay, tomorrow y'all will be out of ALL your classes!"
"YAY!"
"Now u all get ready for the end of the day. I'll need to talk to Ally and Max real quick." Ms. Hanigan waved us over.
"I feel so sorry for you, Ally," I heard Julie say.
Ally just rolled her eyes. We both strolled over to see Ms. Hanigan.
"You know, u two would be a cute couple." She complimented.
My ears grew hot.
"Awhhh... Ally's blushing!"
In surprise, I looked over at her. And Ms. Hanigan is damn right, Ally is blushing.
"You like Max, don't you, Ally?"
Ally tried hiding her face.
"Come on, admit it, Ally! u like him."
Ally shook her head.
"Admit it!"
She shook her head again. I couldn't help but smile.
"Admit it---"
"Fine, I admit it! I like Max, okay?!" Then she ran off, leaving me with my jaw dropped.
"And u think girls don't like you." Ms. Hanigan chuckled.
I kept smiling to myself. Just as the klok, bell rang, I walked out, seeing Ally at her locker. I stood there behind her and sighed, then walked to my locker. Seeing notes AGAIN. What is wrong with people?
Gay
Weirdo
Fags wear nail polish
"Oh my God." I turned around quickly, seeing Ally shaking her head. "When will this shit end?!" She tore the notes down from my locker. "You don't deserve this." Then she left for the buses.
I grabbed my stuff from my locker and walked on to the buses. I got on and sat down at my usual seat. Like always, everyone was talking as loud as bullhorns and chortling.
I ended up at home. My stomach growling, but I know I'm not eating tonight. I never eat at home. I go hungry every day.
"You hungry, Max?" My mom asked, coming in from the kitchen. I raised my eyebrow.
"Yeah..."
"Well, TOO BAD!" She laughed, coming at me with her belt.
I tried running away, but she kept whipping me so hard I kept falling down.
"You're worthless!"
"You will be alone for the rest of your life!"
"Bad excuse for a f***in' son!"
I kept whimpering as she whipped me each time. This went on for thirty minutes. The after pain was so unbearable, that I just decided to go to my room and fall asleep.
Man, I hate my life...
I remember the dag I fell in love.
Not just simple love.
No, this was head over heels, I'd die for u love.
I remember where I fell in love.
A small middle school in a small town.
A place u could easily miss.
I remember the my matchmaker.
A short women, but with meer brand then u could ever imagine.
meer passion for what she does then I had ever seen.
I remember my girlfriends who were with me.
My athletic, sassy, fun-loving chicks.
My flirting consultants.
I remember him.
Good God, he was beautiful.
Yes, I remember the dag I fell in love.
True Love.
Head over heels love.
With..................
Basketball.
--------------------------------
This is dedicated to my first real basketbal coach. She taught me not just how to play basketball, but how to be part of a team. I have so much respect for her and I know I should thank her everyday for helping me fall in love. For Coach Joy.
Not just simple love.
No, this was head over heels, I'd die for u love.
I remember where I fell in love.
A small middle school in a small town.
A place u could easily miss.
I remember the my matchmaker.
A short women, but with meer brand then u could ever imagine.
meer passion for what she does then I had ever seen.
I remember my girlfriends who were with me.
My athletic, sassy, fun-loving chicks.
My flirting consultants.
I remember him.
Good God, he was beautiful.
Yes, I remember the dag I fell in love.
True Love.
Head over heels love.
With..................
Basketball.
--------------------------------
This is dedicated to my first real basketbal coach. She taught me not just how to play basketball, but how to be part of a team. I have so much respect for her and I know I should thank her everyday for helping me fall in love. For Coach Joy.
Just a poem. I hope it isn't much of a bother to rate.
I dream of all things
Uncertain of dark deeds and pasts
Within these thoughts as dark as sea
When once those wings of black
Hung over all
Shadowing but of the wretched white
That blinds me of all beauty.
I dream of all things
From happiness to highs
Let down these pills
of I’m gone, retreat inside my mind
Where none but the darkest thoughts
Swallowing twilight
I dream of all things
From the stories told door hidden scars
Unable to toon themselves
Under this intense scrutiny
That makes up this world’s attire
To the times that I could be happy
Without a drug to create
The much-needed illusion...
I dream of all things
No matter of their contents
Because, well,
Nightmares are still dreams.
I dream of all things
Uncertain of dark deeds and pasts
Within these thoughts as dark as sea
When once those wings of black
Hung over all
Shadowing but of the wretched white
That blinds me of all beauty.
I dream of all things
From happiness to highs
Let down these pills
of I’m gone, retreat inside my mind
Where none but the darkest thoughts
Swallowing twilight
I dream of all things
From the stories told door hidden scars
Unable to toon themselves
Under this intense scrutiny
That makes up this world’s attire
To the times that I could be happy
Without a drug to create
The much-needed illusion...
I dream of all things
No matter of their contents
Because, well,
Nightmares are still dreams.
Ms. Farogonda asked for the winx to come down to her office. when the winx reached ms. farogonda's office she told them that diana wants to speak wth one of you. she didnt tell me who but she told me to pick two extras. ms. farogonda can i go, bloom asked her. flora will be going along with musa and aisha ms farogonda told them. hmph bloom pouted, can we at least go with them bloom zei quikly. fine all of u girls can go and im bringing the specialist. ok stella zei in a sing song voice. lets go zei the winx. they met the RF boys outside and went in the owl. winx: WINX BELIEVIX
AT THE amazone, amazon
flora: let's get going
aisha: see ya winx
bloom: meet back here in an uur k
ok bloom musa said
( diana appears in front of them)
GUARDS take them away
what??!
(to be continued)
AT THE amazone, amazon
flora: let's get going
aisha: see ya winx
bloom: meet back here in an uur k
ok bloom musa said
( diana appears in front of them)
GUARDS take them away
what??!
(to be continued)
It’s the color of you
u always wore it
It’s the color we shared
As we hid from them
With it we showed our true selves,
Though no one cared
Our oranje book bags
Were our shields from some of the pain
We protected each other
But it wasn’t enough
We were like two oranje crayons
When everyone else was green
Then u left me alone,
All I had was our color orange
As they hit me
I took peace in knowing
u were in the oranje field in the sky
u always zei was there.
The oranje of the sun set
Is your smile
Even though u left too soon
Orange…
Now it’s my color
My way of remembering you
Now I am the lone oranje in the rainbow
Without u here
I protect my own
Though I wish u were here
Now oranje is my color
A color for your bravery
A color for my survival
oranje will forever be our color
Even though death took u away
Forever oranje for you,
Sweet Cassidy.
u always wore it
It’s the color we shared
As we hid from them
With it we showed our true selves,
Though no one cared
Our oranje book bags
Were our shields from some of the pain
We protected each other
But it wasn’t enough
We were like two oranje crayons
When everyone else was green
Then u left me alone,
All I had was our color orange
As they hit me
I took peace in knowing
u were in the oranje field in the sky
u always zei was there.
The oranje of the sun set
Is your smile
Even though u left too soon
Orange…
Now it’s my color
My way of remembering you
Now I am the lone oranje in the rainbow
Without u here
I protect my own
Though I wish u were here
Now oranje is my color
A color for your bravery
A color for my survival
oranje will forever be our color
Even though death took u away
Forever oranje for you,
Sweet Cassidy.
