How To Save a Life (story inspired door song door The Fray)
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--------step one u say we need to talk, he walks.
u say sit down it's just talk.
he smiles politely back at you,
u stare politely right on thru.-----------
''scott we need to talk'' artemis said. scott stood up. ''i need to do something first'' he muttured. the lie felt wrong on his lips but he didnt want to talk. he knew what artemis would say and he didnt feel like arguing right now. ''sit down it's just a talk'' she muttured. scott looked at her weighing his options. talk to artemis of leave. he preffered the latter but he decided to get it over with. he smiled at her trying to ease the tension between them. ''i know that u think of suicide'' artemis said. scott flinched as if she had hit him. he didnt want to talk about that subject.
--------some sort of window to your right,
he goes left but u stay right.---------
artemis and scott walked around the park in the cold October air. ''let's just calm down and talk about this'' artemis said. scott shook his head and turned left walking in a brisk pace. artemis sighed watching him disappear from view.
------somewhere along the lines of fear and blame,
u begin to wonder why u came.---------
artemis let herself fall back on scott's couch. why did she even bother? he'd just shut down and stop talking about it. artemis knew he was a cutter and she knew he thought of suicide. he cut himself every day, not deep enough to kill himself but deep enough to leave a mark. what would happen when he finally cut himself deep enough? a shudder rang thru her body. she didnt even want to think about that. she blamed herself. if she could just ease him out slowly...
-------where did i go wrong?
i lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness.
i would have stayed up with u all night,
had i known how to save a life.---------
the phone rang waking artemis up. she rubbed her eyes and reached out toward her night stand. picking up the phone she answered. ''what?'' she asked. ''i need to talk to you'' scott said. artemis glanced at the clock. 2 am? ''no way scott, wait untill morning'' she hung up.
--------let him know that u know best
'cause after all u do know best.--------
''just see a psychologist'' artemis begged. scott rolled his eyes and turned to face her. his expression suddenly angry. ''why? u always act like u know everything! i dont need some dang person poking inside my head telling me things i know about myself!'' he yelled. artemis wavered but didnt give up. ''i do know best. you're too deep in your own pain. see a shrink of someone who can stop these thoughts from over running your head!'' she said. scott threw his hands up in the air in frustration. ''forgett you!'' he yelled stalking off. artemis sighed.
---------try to slip past his deffence
without granting innocence.----------
artemis rubbed his shoulders as he stared angrily at the computer screen doing research for a project. ''come on scott talk to me'' she begged. he squared his jaw and stared defiantly at the screen. artemis knew she would have to slip past his deffence if she wanted to figure out what was wrong with him.
---------lay down a lijst of what is wrong
things you've told him all along.
pray to god he hears you
and i pray to god he hears you.------------
artemis placed her hand calmly on the tafel, tabel infront of him. ''look scott suicide is a bad thing, it destroys the soul'' artemis zei bitting her lower lip. praying he hears her. scott rolled his eyes not saying anything. he placed his headphones in his ears. moments later his head bobbed back and forth to music. artemis attempted to pull one out but he moved away. she tried to talk over the muziek but he purposely turned it up all the way to the point where u could hear it blarring across the room. scott winced everytime they hit a parcticularily loud instrument but kept the volume up untill artemis left.
--------where did i go wrong?
i lost a friend somewhere along the bitterness.
and i would have stayed up with u all night.
had i known how to save a life.--------
scott slid down the tiled bathroom uithangbord shaking. with clumsy fingers he dialed the number he knew all too well. ''artemis i need u to come over. i think i'm about to do something stupid'' he said. he could hear glass being shattered in the living room. above all the voices of his parents shouting at eachother. ''it's midnight scott please try to get some sleep'' artemis murmured sleepily. scott gave out a small cry as his dad banged on the door. he hung up. a sob caught in his throat. the pounding was joined door cussing. scott leaped up and tore open a cabinet. he removed a razor. not the best but effective either way. he zei a silent prayer and dragged the blade across his wrist. blood pouring out he fell, his head thunking on the floor. before he lost conciousness he saw the door being busted open. his father ready to take the anger out on him.
---------as he begins to raise his voice
u grant him one last choice.--------
''i called u and u ignored me!'' scott shouted. artemis shook her head. they were in the hospital. some neighbor had called the paramedics after they had heard his mom's yelling. both parents were fine but scott was under care for the volgende few days untill his wrists healed up. ''scott this is your last chance. u have to make a decission...take your life and take the easy way out of fight this bravely.'' artemis zei before slamming the door behind her.
-------drive untill he loses the road.
of break the ones he's followed.
he will do one of two things.
he will admitt to everything-----------
''take my life and end it of fight this'' scott murmured. he closed his eyes thinking. he had to make a choice now. what was there to live for anyway? why should he fight? granted he didnt want to die but...he didnt want to live either. he wished he could just disappear.
---------or he will admitt he's not the same.
u begin to wonder why u came.----------
''what happened to my friend?'' artemis asked in a feeble voice over the phone. ''he's not here anymore.'' scott answered in a flat voice. he was locked in his bathroom again with a bottle of sleeping pills infront of him. ''im going over there. maybe i can find him'' she hung up. ''good luck with that'' scott muttured as he opened the bottle.
---------where did i go wrong?
i lost a friend somewhere along the bitterness.
and i would have stayed up with u all night.
had i known how to save a life.---------
staggering with his vission blurring scott reached his room. he ripped a paper from his notebook and scribbled things down then set a foto of himself and artemis on top, boven of it and fell. he blinked and let out a feeble breath. vile clogging up his throat. he forced it down. he want to die today. his hand shook as he crossed himself. his breaths and hart-, hart slowed down then his hart-, hart gave way. he closed his eyes for a final time.
---------where did i go wrong?
i lost a friend somewhere along the bitterness.
i would have stayed up with u all night.
had i known how to save a life.---------
tears streamed down artemis' cheeks. she stared at the letter as everyone gave a solem glance at the coffin. some cried, some just stared. scott's mother and father just stood near the door. they didnt care their son died at 16. after the funeral they'd probably just laugh it off and go celebrate. they never even wanted a son. scott's family didnt really like the boy either. just his luck to end up with a family that couldnt care less. every tear shed from them was artificial. artemis was the only one mourning.
---------how to save a life.
how to save a life.-----------
she hadnt read the letter yet. hadnt even glanced at it. she had tried but seeing his scrawls her vission blurred making it impossible to read it. maybe it was best that way. she didnt know. there was a part of her mind that wanted to read it but the other part of her wanted to block it out. she didnt want to feel anymore pain.
----------where did i go wrong?
i lost a frined somewhere along the bitterness.
and i would have stayed up with u all night.
had i known how to save a life.-----------
the cemetary was chilly. she zipped her jas up all the way up to ber throat. the gravestone was clean thanks to her. she got down on her knees unable to stop the waterfall of tears. ''if i had known...how to save a life'' she whispered. she pressed her palm to the gravestone, gravel digging in to her knees thru her jeans. ''i would have stayed up with u all night. u called me so many times ...trying to get me to listen.'' artemis hung her head down in anger. angry at herself. scott tried to reach out to her but she blocked him out. the whole time he wanted help but she blocked him out. she had been a hypocrite.
----------where did i go wrong?
i lost a friend somewhere along.
i would have stayed up with u all night.
had i known how to save a life.-------------
artemis sat down on her desk. the note still shoved under her journal. she still hadnt read it. couldnt bring herself to do so. in the end she forced herself to. if scott had used his last energy and life bron to writte it for her...she needed to read it.
--------how to save a life.
how to save a life.------------
artemis opened it. her breath caught in her throat seeing his hand writting again. for a moment she stared. her vission blurring. then she took a shaky breath and found the courage to read it.

u tried to help...i was too far gone. i'm sorry i was stupid. suicide was the easy way out. i'm not a fighter artemis. i never was. this was my way. u would have fought. u are a fighter. dont be angry at me for this. dont be sad. i'm better now. pain doesnt reach me where i am now. verplaats on with your life. i'm better. my pain is gone, i no longer hurt.
scott

artemis closed her eyes. ''when u committ suicide your pain goes away...but u leave others hurting.'' she whispered. she burried the note under her journals once meer and cried.