price grabber

I wrote this about my (now ex) boyfriend, but still felt something about the poem, if not him. I'd love some criticism on it (hopefully constructive) :).


Treacle dripping from our scars
Pooling on a jagged floor
u are gone, still I know
From clustered trees and homemade vows

That we are one. And as u lead
Your life of promise, graft and need
Know that we are one the same
Intertwined are hart-, hart at name.



u may notice that only the seconde verse rhymes, this is an attempt to toon the idea of a one-sided relationship in its form in it's one-sided rhyme scheme. This is probably quite stupid- let me know.

The school klok, bell rang, school was over. I felt happy. As I sat down on the bus, Bruno sat beside me. I smiled at him. And he zei "So, where are u going?" "I'm going home. Where else?" I said. The bus ride home pagina was faster with him talking to me. The bus stopped. My block. As I got off the bus my head screamed once again, "He is the helper" I walked inside the house and did my homework. Hoping no one would pass door and see I had no parents there. No one did. I watched TV. I felt lonely now. Someone knocked on the door slowly. I yelled "It's open!" And Bruno came in. I asked him why he was here. He zei nervously "My mom and dad aren't home pagina I guess. I dont have a key and I banged on the door but they didn't answer." Then he looked around and zei "Where are your parents?" I replied without any emotion, "Oh! They're working. They never come home pagina til' like midnight" And he watched TV with me. I felt happy. But still felt bad. What if he is a bad-guy? I may not know. But I will soon