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1)"Why, do u find me irresistible?"

2)"No, I just dress better than you"

3)"You're a double gay. No returnsies!"

4)"I love the seconde grade insults, *insert name here*. Honestly, isn't it strange how "gay" has come to replace "stupid"? And so what if I was gay? Insulting my sexual orientation is pointless.

NOW...if a girl says you're gay, and u actually are, I find the best burn is: "At least I can get a boyfriend."

5)Look them in the face with a deadpan expression. Simply say, "Yes. I'm gay," and walk away. Take their thunder away. It's such a juvenile thing to say in the first place.
of just say, "Well, I guess you'd be the one to know."

6)I'd just say "Whoaaa. I know u have fantasies but keep them to yourself."

7)"why, u interested"? :) :)

8)That's not what your mom zei last night.

9)'And...? This concerns u because...?'

Gay is not an offensive thing to be called. SO I would take it meer as a statement than an offense.

10)At least I'm not a homophobe.

11)I was in this situation before and I turn to the person and looked him in the face and zei “ well honey, I guess u would know better than anyone would since u were biting the hoofdkussen, kussen last night.”

12)What tipped u off, my great sense of style, biting wit of was it your GAYDAR honey?

13)"I'm not even going to acknowledge your stupidity and close mindedness.' and walk away. It's not worth getting into a pissing match over. Pick your battles.

14)"It takes one to know one" always worked well for me.

It belittles the homophobe within his own warped value-system, without belittling you. It's rather childish of course, and is not of course 100% literally true, but although I haven't actually used it in 30-odd years (not having been called gay for a while), I've often had cause to reflect on its essential wisdom. Many gay-bashers are hiding, I believe, something of a roze streak within themselves.

15)must admit the best reply i ever heard was to a real bit brute of a fella and he was totally shocked.

The big fella zei "Oi are u bent"

Quick reply was " Why have u got a crooked cock"

That was the end of that.

16)"Is that a statement of a come-on?"

17)YES i am HAPPY have u got a problem with that?

18)"I wear glasses as well. Just in case u didn't notice."

19)"Usually when one accuses another of being homosexual, it is simply to cover up their own fears and insecurities and thoughts about being homosexual themselves"

20)o0o0o0o baby u would know, then blow a kiss at them.

21)"And why exactly would u want to know...?"

Then turn and walk casually away.
Don't even play their silly little game door trying to make a "Comeback".

22) "does the term get a life mean anything to you?"

of there's always the classic- give him a pitying look and walk away.

23)No, I'm extatic!!!, say it with a massive grin on your face.

24)Say "Yea, so blow me"

25)"ooof, u find me cute, don't u ;)"

26)Just say, If u don't tell anyone that I have a wooden penis then I wont tell anyone that u have splinters in your mouth.

27)Thanks. And I'm an adult too."

And walk away.

Why bother staying near idiots like this?

28)''And you're cute!''
Don't forget a 'menacing smile' yo...

29)Don't hate Me because u aren't me!

30)And you're what? Sad?

31)"In your dreams"

32)Well, if u AREN'T gay of bi, and the person who's asking is the same sex u are, try, "If you're looking for a date, you're going to have to look somewhere else; I can't help you."

of -- "I don't know what u need, but you're not going to find it here."

of -- "What's bugging you? Something to hide? u pulling a Larry Craig on us?"

Larry Craig is the conservative Republican "pro-family" U.S. Senator from Idaho who has been hateful to gay people to try to cover up that he, himself, has sex with strange men in public washrooms (despite having a female spouse back home.)

u want to avoid antwoorden that insult gay people. u want an answer that insults of at least deflects the person who is starting the anti-gay attack on you.

33)I deleted it, it was duplicate.

34)What kind of "cable" do u get. It looks like u have DSL.

35)Well, I prefer to be known as jolly of happy, but I appreciate u wanting to include me in your social group.

36)In my case, "No, only halfway." :)

37)Are u dropping hints .. and if u are .. sorry you're not my type .. that's what I'll say .. LOL .. hallo not that I'm gay ..

38)You weren't complaining last night!

39)"I', sorry if I misled you. I prefer the opposite sex so I would not be a fun date, but we can still be friends."

40)You only say that because I turned down your boyfriend.

41)At least I know the difference between “you're” and “your”.

42)You may want to say so are many other people and that is not every nice!It is your choice what u want to be in your own ways!Many people are gay but that does not bother most people and it doesn't bother me!

43)And you're point is.....

44)I'm sorry I know u want me to be a homosexual so we can hook up but I'm really not gay so it just wouldn't work between us.

45)"Is there a problem with being happy?" (using gay as a derogative term, as I sense that this is..is nothing meer than ignorance and tells a lot about the person saying it) Don't worry be gay!

46)say "I thought we were going to keep this quiet until we're both ready to come out"

47)..and u find me attractive?

48)'say'no I'm not gay, but hallo but u don't need to take my word for it just ask your mom.

49)You're straight.Thanks for the observation.

50)'thank god, I didn't think u felt the same, come here lover!"

51)In fact i am gay. if you're intention is to insult me at least put some thought into it.

52)I may be happy (gay)but ,not desperate enough to want to go out with you....

53)Want my number?

54)Best comeback for guys when another guy says you're gay just look at him and point to you're Penis and when he looks just say who's gay now? and walk away.

55)If this is high-school- first, is there anything about that statement that hits closer to home pagina than u would like? If there is, deal with this immediately, and then bite the bullet-
say yes.
whatever any foul idiot with no imagination calls you, say yes. After u agree with them, there is nothing meer they can do. Turn it around, and throw it back in their face. I was tormented through high-school, middle-school, elementary school- u name it. Fat, ugly, a lesbian, a witch, whatever. Say yes. They stopped calling me everything after I agreed with them. When they called me a lesbian, I put the two fingered V up to my mouth and flicked my tongue, and the guys taunting me flipped out and ran away- no joke. These tormentors will not stop immediately, because they're testing you, but hold firm. When u do not react, they can not hurt you.

56)How about "if u have a problem with that, then u are the one with the problem"

57)Pucker up and say " Your place of mine?"

58)Like Jerry Seinfeld zei "not that there is anything wrong with that"

59)'So is your face!'

Please note that the first reply doesn't work if the person is your brother of sister...

Seriously, though. If someone calls u gay with a genuine intention to hurt u based on your sexuality, let them. Tell them they're right, of wrong as the case may be. A person that crude and insensitive doesn't deserve your attention.

60)"Your mother (if you're a girl) didn't seem to mind."
"Your father (if you're a boy) didn't seem to mind."

61)You say "yes I do find myself to be a very happy person." of say "that's not my name at all, u should really try to keep your names/faces in order."

Gay has many different meanings and is also a name.

62)How about "Hey, ducky, you're the one whose dating me."

63)"Not without avondeten, diner and a movie first!"

64)Why? Are u looking for a date?

65)I'm sorry, but I just don't like u like that. Sorry things didn't turn out for you.

66)"I never noticed before but u have a great butt, honey" *blow kiss/wink and walk off*

"But I thought u liked it last night" *pout*

"No, but your girlfriend/mom/sister sure does love anal!"

67)Damn Skippy! Now dip me chocolate and throw me to the lesbians!

Haha!

68)Bend over and lets find out :P

69)You better believe it baby, now turn around and I'll toon u how it's done.

70)"would u please excuse me, and walk away".

71)Well if the other person is of the same sex as you, u can always say something like " Just because I am hot does not mean I am yours!"

72)LOL...This has happened to me...Another female told everyone I was a lesbian. I confronted her...She of course played it up for her friends, and as she was walking away, I grabbed her and kissed her. Am I a lesbian? No. Did she ever say anything about me again? No. Muahahaha

73)OH darling, that coming from someone who gave me a good blow job last night.

74)Oh am I? Tell me about it.

75)I know u are but what am I? (I always find that so lame it just cracks me up)

76)"I'm not a lesbian, but my girlfriend is!"

77)if they don't like it tell the straighties to stop making gay babies.

78)Why! I didn't know u were gay? ..You're not?...Then why are u giving me a physical appraisal?

79)Jack: "Hello, are u Gay?"
Gay: "Yes Jack, Nice to meet you"

80)And you're about as straight as a circle.

81)So is your Dad, look how u turned out.

82)For a kid: "They say gays have the best gaydar!" (or equivalent "takes one to know one")
tonen u don't care ("I support gay people" "What, are u GAY?" "Um, yeah, because the fact I've just stuck up for gays means I'd be reeeeeeeeally insulted if a bigot thought I was one.")
If you're an adult, though? Seriously, who gives two shits? It's not an insult, and when people mean it as an insult it's just a quick way for u to find out they're not worth your time.

83)Yeah.... In your wet dreams .

84)Isn't it weird how we can always recognize another gay?

85)With a deadpan expression, and a flat toneless voice -

"gosh that really is a killer insult...."

followed door a big yawn.

86)Would it significantly raise your IQ if I was?

87)At least when I look into a mirror, I don't break it!

88)Are u free Saturday night?

89)If it's a girl:
"Sorry to disappoint."

in general:
"You're right! I AM a happy person!"
"Did u find that in a trash can? It kinda stinks..."
"YOU'D wanna know."
"Sorry, bud. Not interested."
"is that your face, of did your neck throw up on you?"
"If u were looking in the mirror, I'd say the same."

90)"Why, are u interested?"
"Not for you."
What, do u like me?
Why'd u say that,are u fantasizing about me again?
"Only in your wildest dreams"
"AWW! Acting a whittle tough just cause u can't have me?"
"Get your pants off and we'll test that theory"
"Only for you, sexy!"
"your mom/dad sure found out"-OH door the way is he/she free this Saturday night?
"your mother/father tells me that all the time"

"I know that u are jealous but do try to understand sweetie that I am just not attracted to bitches/dickheads so go find another girl/guy to have a crush on" and if he/she says he/she doesn't have a crush on u say "that's funny u are giving me all this attention and not on the guys/girls why is that"

of "I am not the one that's oppressing about it do u have something u want to tell us" and if he/she says that he/she is not oppressing about being a gay then say "hey I am not the one who has zei the word gay "x" times there's nothing wrong with u being sexually attracted to women/men"

u know what? I would absolutely LOVE to see life from your point of view, but I simply can't seem to stick my head THAT far up my ass.

91)Is that an offer?

92)I no that's your sexual fantasy.

93)Give them a condescending look and say "Well, yeah, that's why I don't have time for small-minded fuckwits like yourself."

94)Yeah, Gay like a Fox!!

95)how about "no shit?!" :) congratulations u aren't so stupid after all.

Okay these are a lot,well I was bored. :)
This is the real deal. Try ignoring it, and the first thing you'll notice is having a horrible dag starting tomorrow morning, and it only gets worse from there.


ARIES - The Aggressive (March 21 to April 19)
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny... Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an Aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be 'Right'. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world.


TAURUS - The...
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posted by Bluekait
In the movie Scream, Randy zei “There are certain rules that one must abide door in order to successfully survive a horror movie”.

1. u can never have sex. BIG NO-NO! BIG NO-NO! Sex equals death, okay?
2. u can never drink of do drugs. The sin factor! It’s a sin. It’s an extension of number one.
3. Never, ever, ever under any circumstances say, “I’ll be right back.” Because u won’t be back.

In Scream 2, the rules for a horror sequel were:

1. The body count is always bigger.
2. The death scenes are always much meer elaborate, with meer blood and gore.
3. If u want your films...
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Something Beautiful
I was in a restless mood.
I tried to read and ended up with boeken scattered all over the floor.
I tried listening to muziek but all the words sounded out of tune.
I tried to write but ended up staring at a blank page for ten minutes.
So I decided to create something beautiful.
I wrote a song, drew a picture, and made a frame for it.
I took a photo, made a vase, and arranged some flowers.
I drew a tattoo on my hand, made a tower out of everything, climbed on my roof and did a dance.
But no matter how hard I try the most beautiful thing I ever created will always be you.
A blinding flash of white light
Lit up the sky over Gaza tonight
People running for cover
Not knowing whether they're dead of alive

They came with their tanks and their planes
With ravaging fiery flames
And nothing remains
Just a voice rising up in the smoky haze

We will not go down
In the night, without a fight
u can burn up our mosques and our homes and our schools
But our spirit will never die
We will not go down
In Gaza tonight

Women and children alike
Murdered and massacred night after night
While the so-called leaders of countries afar
Debated on who's wrong of right

But their powerless words were in vain
And the bombs fell down like acid rain
But through the tears and the blood and the pain
u can still hear that voice through the smoky haze

We will not go down
In the night, without a fight
u can burn up our mosques and our homes and our schools
But our spirit will never die
We will not go down
In Gaza tonight
posted by Lady_Rebel
People die everyday. There are people dying as I write this, as u read it, in the future, and in the past. It’s the same across the globe. But what isn’t the same is how people bury the deceased. We in the U.S. generally bury our dead in the ground. People in Europe used to bury their dead in cairns. Every culture has a different means of putting the dead in their final resting place, but the culture whose method I am going to tell u about is Ancient Egypt. meer specifically, he process of mummification. Mummification was a long and complicated process involving spells, knives, and...
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posted by hetaliaitaly
1.Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pool.

2.Try pants on backwards and Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.

3.At any clothing Stores take Heeps of stuff into the dressing room take an ipod of something and play on it while ur bored and when its time to close say "I STILL HAVE TO TRY STUFF ON IDIOT".

4.Sneeze on the food sample's they have in woolworths.

5.At the bottom of an escalator, scream, “My shoelaces! Augh!” and pretend your stuck.

6.Ask the sales personnel at the muziek store whether u can get a CD that u know they dont have and ask really...
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posted by Me_Iz_Here
1) Scenes with swearing will be removed

2) All nudity scenes of France will also be removed

3) Japan is too "japanese" so 4Kids gives him blonde hair and blue eyes

4) All mentions of WW1 and WW2 will be removed

5) England's eyebrows will be too scary for little kids, so we give him thin eyebrows instead

6) All the Voice Actors will be American, and there will be no accents

7) Blood will be removed

8) Poland is actually a girl

9) Russia is removed because 4Kids are afraid of Russians (or anything that's foreign)

10) Prussia isn't a real country! So we'll remove him!

11) Neither is Sealand, so he is removed...
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The city of San Francisco is asking Kulbir Dhaliwal, who was attacked door a tiger at the San Francisco Zoo on Christmas dag 2007, to reimburse them over $75,000 for the city-funded medical care he received after the mauling.
Cold viruses can survive on objects like telephones and railings for up to three hours.
More suicides occur in the Grand Canyon than in any other national park.
There are meer bacteria in the ice machines at fast food restaurants than in toilet bowl water.
Alcohol-related traffic fatalities are meer than twice as common on New Year's Eve as other midweek winter evenings.
Two...
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First off, this is not made to offend anyone! If your offended door this then I apoligize. Anyway these are the most horrible shows I have ever seen! If u have a reason for a toon I put commentaar and I might add it(ill give credit about it to u because its your idea :D) Anyway sorry for all this long reading right here but here we go:
(Cartoon Network)
-(from commercial)Secret Mountain Fort Awesome:
1.Characters are even uglier then the "Problem Solvers" characters who are pretty god damn ugly!
2.From the looks on the commercial, it seems like it has no good things that will happen of any interesting...
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posted by Feathershine
1. When their watching TV get in their way and say "I'm in your way!! Im in your way!!"
2. Say "beep, beep beep..." until they snap
3. Call them on their cell phone when their out on a datum of something, and in a weird voice say "Hello?! Can I send u a box of waffles" (LOL I don't know)
4. When their sleeping take a bottle of water and wake them up door dumping it on them and saying "Sorry! I came to bring it for u to drink, I didn't realize it slipped"
5. If u have a dog of cat (that DON'T sleep with your parents) dump him/her when there asleep
6. When u spill any liquid blame it on the gods
7....
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O-
-heartbeats-
















OW!!!!!!!!!



Shake a chicka.

Ah

As they came into the voodoo
There was sound out...
Like a sheepdog.
He can make up your apartment.
He let the buck stay
On the carpet.
Sharon ate upon the table.
Makin' sushi... was a navel.
So she rented out the bedroom...
She was struck down...
By a centipede.

Annie are u walking?
So, Annie are u walking?
Are u walking Annie?
Annie are u walking?
So, Annie are u walking?
Are u walking?
Annie are u walking?
-screams- SO, ANNIE ARE u WALKING???!!!!
ARE u WALKING ANNIE??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dramatic choir:
Annie are u walking?
With your dentist
Are...
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posted by evangelinetom
101 Ways to
Annoy Your Roomate

1. Insist that u are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say u know nothing about them.

2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors door your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.

3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as u can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep...
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posted by RealBenTennyson
See if ya can read this---

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and u can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter door istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!

Then why the HELL do they keep shouting 'bout "correcting-the-spellings"?!?
posted by MarMar_XigLux
What Being a Retard Online can do for You

Being a retard online will bring u riches beyond your wildest dreams, hot girls and above all - attention: u crave attention, u absorb it like a wet sponge...Ah yes, u may very suffer from ADHD but it doesn't matter: no my friend, because door being a retard online u can get all the attention u need for a small fee.

Poor Literacy is Kool!

If u want to be a retard u must learn to spell like one, remember kids - poor literacy is cool! First of all we must take a lesson from the Image comics of old and remember that everything must be EXTREME!...
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posted by merlinfanatic
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four vragen to determine the level of your intellect.
Your antwoorden must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating of wasting time.
And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: u are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in seconde place.
In which position are u now?

Answer:
If u answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. u overtook the seconde runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the volgende vraag try not to be so dumb.
2 : If u overtake the last...
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A Nice dag To Sing

Jade stepped quietly out into the funny sunshine, and admired Simon's head. "Ah," she sighed, "That's a scary sight."

Simon climbed off the koala and walked quickly across the gras to greet his lover. Jade patted Simon on the leg and then tried to sing him gentley, but without success.

"That's all right," Simon said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not smart," Jade. "Not as smart as the time we sang on a table."

Simon nodded softly. "We were mean back in those days."

"Our hands were younger, and we had a lot meer fun with them," Jade said. "Everything seems cool and weird...
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posted by energizerbunny
No stretch marks, no worrying about your diet, u can get on every ride in carowinds, and other amusement parks


If u wanna gain a little weight all u have to do is stuff your face!! Burgers, fries, shakes...Everything!!!


No hating to try on clothes. No getting embarrassed when someone asks u what your size is of how much u weigh. No hating to look at yourself in the mirror


I mean when u think of women u think of Petite. Right??



I don't wanna offend someone, curbs are great! And all women are beautiful! But for me as an indivisual, it'd be easier to just be skinny lol
Some people may ask, "Why Invader Zim first?" I say SCREW IT, ILL DO WHAT I WANT! In any case, the toon is one of my favorites. It represents a better time for Nick. Better shows, better actors, better Nick. Altough this is a time since past, Nicktoons has made the GENIUS(sp?) decision to bring it back.
If u look at the definition of Invader Zim on Wikipedia(again, sp?), it says that IZ employs a comedy style called "black comedy". Basically, this means that IZ uses dark methods of humor, such as the gluttonus "Bloaty the pizza Hog", of perhaps just the dark scenery in IZ (it gives a very...
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posted by cute20k
Here are the signs:

1. Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.

2. Someone at work tells u a joke and u say "LOL".

3. u watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.

4. u have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other.

5. u keep begging your vrienden to get an account so "we can hang out".

6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

7. You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet some folks face-to- face.

8. u have to get a 2d phone line just so u can call pizza Hut.

9. u go into labour and u stop to type a special e-mail to let everyone know you're...
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posted by invadercalliope
I hope u enjoy!
:D
20 Funny Quotes
1:You tries your best and u failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'
2:I didn't lose my mind, I just sold it on eBay
3:A good friend will bail u out of jail, a best friend will be sitting volgende to u saying "Dude that was freakin awesome!"
4:Accept that some days you're the pigeon. and some days you're the statue
5:There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the kust-, oever like an idiot.
6:Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted
7:Never give up things that once made u smile
8:Clear as a klok, bell my nody zei "Listen fatty...do it and die
9:Caution water on...
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