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posted by Shelly_McShelly
1. "Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.

2. "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.

3. "For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.

4. "For use door trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.

5. "Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.

6. "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.

7. "Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either door falling into the water of while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski.

8. "Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm door 15cm door 12cm.

9. "Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.

10. "Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.

11. "Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.

12. "Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.

13. "Twist top, boven off with hands. Throw top, boven away. Do not put top, boven in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.

14. "Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a melk crate.

15. "Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.

16. "Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.

17. "Fragile. Do not drop." -- geplaatst on a Boeing 757.

18. "Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.

19. "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.

20. "Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.

21. "Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.

22. "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.

23. "Do not drive car of operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.

24. "For indoor of outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.

25. "Wearing of this kledingstuk does not enable u to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.

26. "This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door.

27. "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.

28. "Warning: do not use if u have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.

29. "Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarkt dessert box.

30. "Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarkt dessert box.
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posted by kitkat709477
No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."

You don't have detention, you're just one of the"exit delayed."

Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."

These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined."

Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."

Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."

Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."

You're not late, u just have a "rescheduled arrival time."

You're...
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1. meet barney

2. rob a bank while your still cute

3. write a threatening letter to the president

4. egg barneys house because he skipped last weeks show

5. slide down the big slide!

6. get revenge on the eend floaty that nearly drowned you

7. be bigger than big brother

8.drink a beer

9. when drunk find bob the builder and tell him what i really think!

10. win the lottery, and wave the money in mommy and daddy's face because apparently "I'm to younge to get an allowance"

11. get over that vacum cleaner fear

12. win at tug o war with the doggy

13. hold the senator hostage in an elabrate murder plot where...
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posted by werewolflover
I'm in something called Honors Club at school.Each jaar we go on a trip,this jaar to St.Louis.We left Thursday,April 29th 2010.
The ride took like six hours.The reason it took so long,was because one of the bus's air conditioning messed up,and we had to sit at a gas station for an hour.
We finally got up there and went to Nascar Speed Park.It was awesome.We got to ride go-carts and I won the race.Then,it was time for dinner.We ate hotdogs.And word of advice,if u ever go there DO NOT EAT THEM!!!!They are NASTY.Then,I went to a gift koop and got a zuur, zure powder stic.I got some tokens,and used them...
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