Episode 9
Bartholomew "Not so" Perfect The 55th
June 10, 1951
At the station in Cheyenne, Bartholomew was getting ready to conduct a passenger train.
Gordon: *Looking at map of Equestria* Hey, Bart! Do u know how long it would take to get to Germany from my place if I was driving?
Bartholomew: Perhaps u should try looking at an actual world map instead of that pathetic nonsense!
Gordon: Who asked you?! *grabs smartphone* Fine, if you're gonna be like that, I'll just ask the smartphone, and it'll tell me how to get from here to Germany, and how long it will take!
Bartholomew: WE CAN'T USE SMARTPHONES IN 1951!!! Have u lost your mind?!
Gordon: *searching* Watch how it's done asshole! Going from Equestria to Germany. Yo, I do what I want nigga! *gasps*
Bartholomew: *looks*
Gordon: Swim across the Atlantic ocean! Seriously?
Bartholomew: Oh my. Better get started, that sure is a bloody long swim.
Hawkeye: *brings passenger train to station*
Bartholomew: Well, my train is here. I must leave u in your shock of amazement. *enters passenger train*
Percy: *sees Gordon* Uhm, what's that? *points at smartphone*
Gordon: A failed attempt to travel *falls asleep*
While Gordon fell asleep from his failed attempt to travel, Hawkeye and Coffee Creme were getting their train ready.
Coffee Creme: *checking oil*
Hawkeye: *checking water gauge* Everything is looking good.
Bartholomew: Everypony that's going to Denver, get on this train!
Percy: Uh, Bartholomew? You're supposed to say All Aboard.
Bartholomew: Oh. All aboard!!
Hawkeye: *blows whistle twice*
Coffee Creme: *looks out cab*
Hawkeye: *drives train*
Meanwhile in the passenger cars.
Bartholomew: (Ok. You've been a conductor for roughly a week. u haven't done well, but you're getting better now. Now we just do the right thing until we get to Denver, rent a hotel, sleep, and go back to Cheyenne.)
While the train left Cheyenne for Denver, Bartholomew was checking the tickets of every passenger.
Bartholomew: Tickets please.
passenger: *gives ticket*
Bartholomew: *takes ticket* Thanks
passenger: You're not going to cut it?
Bartholomew: What?
passenger: You're supposed to use this hole puncher *points to tool* and stempel, punch a hole in it.
Bartholomew: Oh *puts hole in ticket*
passenger: Thanks, dumbass.
Bartholomew: What did u just call me?
passenger: u heard me u British piece of hell.
Bartholomew: *pulls passenger out of seat*
passenger: Ow! What the fuck do u think you're doing?!
Bartholomew: Something that u deserve *throws passenger out of train*
passenger: *flying* I'm a pegasus! Nice try!
Bartholomew: If you're a pegasus why are u taking the train?
passenger: Why not? *gets back in*
Bartholomew: (Lazy bastard.)
After that, another train passed
Bartholomew: *frightened* Whoa. *goes to check meer tickets*
Hawkeye: *stops train*
Bartholomew: Wait a minute, wait a minute!! Why are we stopping?! *teleports to engine* Why did u stop?
Coffee Creme: Red signal. Take a look for yourself.
Bartholomew: *looks out cab* Ok, I don't get it. There's red. And then there's two meer signals below that. Which one is green?
Hawkeye: At the bottom.
Bartholomew: Then what's in the middle?!
Hawkeye: That would be yellow.
Bartholomew: What does yellow mean?
Hawkeye: That means we can proceed, but with caution.
Bartholomew: Oh. *embarrassed* Carry on *teleports back to train*
Hawkeye: I hope he doesn't terrorize any of the passengers.
Coffee Creme: If u ask me, he probably doesn't have what it takes to be in the army.
Hawkeye: Maybe he was in the army, but got a screwed up personality with all those ponies he killed.
Snowflake: *signal turns yellow*
Hawkeye: *drives train*
Bartholomew: *appears* Did the signal change?
Hawkeye: Yeah, it just turned yellow.
Bartholomew: Alright then, u have to continue slowly.
Hawkeye: Uh, Bartholomew?
Bartholomew: Yes?
Hawkeye: I've been an engineer since 1947. I know what I'm doing.
Bartholomew: I was just making sure u knew. On The London & New England Railway, we made sure the engineer knew so no accidents would accure.
Coffee Creme: Don't u mean occur?
Bartholomew: No, I mean accure. Carry on *teleports back to train*
Meanwhile, on the train
Bartholomew: *sees passenger*
Passenger: *looking at map of Equestria* Hey, dude. Do u know how long it would take to get from Germany to my place if I was driving?
Bartholomew: (Not this again.) Perhaps u should try looking at an actual world map instead of that pace of trash l:(
Passenger: Who asked you? Fine, if you're gonna be like that, I'll use my smartphone, and it'll tell me how to get there, and how long it will take.
Bartholomew: I hate my life *jumps out train*
Passenger: *looks up directions* What's his problem? *continues looking* WHHHATTT?!?!
Passenger 2: Be quiet! We're watching the scenery!
Passenger: I gotta swim across the Atlantic ocean!! Fuck your scenery!
Passenger 2: *looks at smartphone* Now I see why the conductor jumped out of the train. *jumps out of train*
Meanwhile, near the tracks
Bartholomew: *sees passenger land on hooves* Are u alright?
Passenger 2: Yeah. I just saw somepony using a smartphone!!
Bartholomew: We can't use those in 1951. Yet he, and another worker on this railroad I know did it!
Passenger 2: Do u suppose they were looking up the same thing?
Bartholomew: Yes, they actually were.
Passenger 2: Why?
Bartholomew: Not sure.
90 minuten later at Denver's train station
Hawkeye: *stops at station*
Coffee Creme: *looks back* Wait a minute, where's Bartholomew?
Hawkeye: What do u mean? He's in the tr- *looks back* He's gone.
Coffee Creme: We gotta find him *climbs out engine*
Hawkeye: I gotta stay here!
Coffee Creme: Did u see the conductor?
Passenger: Did u see a plane to Neigh York?
Coffee Creme: No?
Passenger: Then I can't help u (God I can't believe I have to swin across the atlantic ocean!)
Passenger 3: Excuse me, miss? Did u say u were looking for your conductor?
Coffee Creme: Yes. u saw him?
Passenger 3: He jumped out the train. That passenger u were just talking to was using some futuristic machine, and annoyed the conductor, and another passenger.
Coffee Creme: Oh no
Back at Cheyenne
Pete: So u don't feel like u can be a conductor right?
Bartholomew: N-n-no sir, I don't.
Pete: Well, u can work in the yards if you'd like.
Bartholomew: Sure.
Snowflake: Big mistake!
Bartholomew: Why?
Pete: Ah, she's just teasing. Gordon worked in the yards last year, and he had a tough time.
Bartholomew: Where is Gordon anyway?
Gordon: *swimming in atlantic ocean* I should be close soon. *looks up* LAND!!! *swims toward land*
Nearby was a startbaan, start-en landingsbaan in an airport
startbaan, start-en landingsbaan pony: Land!
Pilot: *about to land*
Gordon: Am I in Germany?!
startbaan, start-en landingsbaan pony: No, this is Jersey City.
Pilot: *crashes into building*
Gordon: Oh.
Meanwhile in the train yard at Cheyenne.
Red Rose: Orion, a little faster please.
Orion: *pushes freight cars a little faster*
Bartholomew: I don't see why Gordon hated this. *uncouples freight cars*
Red Rose: Be careful Bartholomew, there's a tank car with chemicals coming toward you. Uncouple it from the rest of the train.
Bartholomew: Ok
Orion: *pushes chemical car past Bartholomew*
Bartholomew: hallo wait!! *runs past chemical car*
Orion: *stops*
Bartholomew: *uncouples tank car*
The tank car started rolling, but Bartholomew's hoof somehow got stuck on the ladder*
Bartholomew: AHH! HELP!!!
Red Rose: What?
Orion: The?
Bartholomew: FUCK!! *nearly hits signal*
Orion: I hope he doesn't get hurt
Bartholomew: *grabs gun*
Red Rose: Why does he have that?
Bartholomew: *shoots ladder* I got to get free *shoots ladder*
Orion: Look out for the box car volgende to your tank car
Bartholomew: AH *hits box car, and falls off tank car* I'M OK!! Leave me here so I can rest my broken bones!!
The End
On The volgende Episode Of Ponies On The Rails
Gordon shows u how he got a smartphone in 1951
Bartholomew "Not so" Perfect The 55th
June 10, 1951
At the station in Cheyenne, Bartholomew was getting ready to conduct a passenger train.
Gordon: *Looking at map of Equestria* Hey, Bart! Do u know how long it would take to get to Germany from my place if I was driving?
Bartholomew: Perhaps u should try looking at an actual world map instead of that pathetic nonsense!
Gordon: Who asked you?! *grabs smartphone* Fine, if you're gonna be like that, I'll just ask the smartphone, and it'll tell me how to get from here to Germany, and how long it will take!
Bartholomew: WE CAN'T USE SMARTPHONES IN 1951!!! Have u lost your mind?!
Gordon: *searching* Watch how it's done asshole! Going from Equestria to Germany. Yo, I do what I want nigga! *gasps*
Bartholomew: *looks*
Gordon: Swim across the Atlantic ocean! Seriously?
Bartholomew: Oh my. Better get started, that sure is a bloody long swim.
Hawkeye: *brings passenger train to station*
Bartholomew: Well, my train is here. I must leave u in your shock of amazement. *enters passenger train*
Percy: *sees Gordon* Uhm, what's that? *points at smartphone*
Gordon: A failed attempt to travel *falls asleep*
While Gordon fell asleep from his failed attempt to travel, Hawkeye and Coffee Creme were getting their train ready.
Coffee Creme: *checking oil*
Hawkeye: *checking water gauge* Everything is looking good.
Bartholomew: Everypony that's going to Denver, get on this train!
Percy: Uh, Bartholomew? You're supposed to say All Aboard.
Bartholomew: Oh. All aboard!!
Hawkeye: *blows whistle twice*
Coffee Creme: *looks out cab*
Hawkeye: *drives train*
Meanwhile in the passenger cars.
Bartholomew: (Ok. You've been a conductor for roughly a week. u haven't done well, but you're getting better now. Now we just do the right thing until we get to Denver, rent a hotel, sleep, and go back to Cheyenne.)
While the train left Cheyenne for Denver, Bartholomew was checking the tickets of every passenger.
Bartholomew: Tickets please.
passenger: *gives ticket*
Bartholomew: *takes ticket* Thanks
passenger: You're not going to cut it?
Bartholomew: What?
passenger: You're supposed to use this hole puncher *points to tool* and stempel, punch a hole in it.
Bartholomew: Oh *puts hole in ticket*
passenger: Thanks, dumbass.
Bartholomew: What did u just call me?
passenger: u heard me u British piece of hell.
Bartholomew: *pulls passenger out of seat*
passenger: Ow! What the fuck do u think you're doing?!
Bartholomew: Something that u deserve *throws passenger out of train*
passenger: *flying* I'm a pegasus! Nice try!
Bartholomew: If you're a pegasus why are u taking the train?
passenger: Why not? *gets back in*
Bartholomew: (Lazy bastard.)
After that, another train passed
Bartholomew: *frightened* Whoa. *goes to check meer tickets*
Hawkeye: *stops train*
Bartholomew: Wait a minute, wait a minute!! Why are we stopping?! *teleports to engine* Why did u stop?
Coffee Creme: Red signal. Take a look for yourself.
Bartholomew: *looks out cab* Ok, I don't get it. There's red. And then there's two meer signals below that. Which one is green?
Hawkeye: At the bottom.
Bartholomew: Then what's in the middle?!
Hawkeye: That would be yellow.
Bartholomew: What does yellow mean?
Hawkeye: That means we can proceed, but with caution.
Bartholomew: Oh. *embarrassed* Carry on *teleports back to train*
Hawkeye: I hope he doesn't terrorize any of the passengers.
Coffee Creme: If u ask me, he probably doesn't have what it takes to be in the army.
Hawkeye: Maybe he was in the army, but got a screwed up personality with all those ponies he killed.
Snowflake: *signal turns yellow*
Hawkeye: *drives train*
Bartholomew: *appears* Did the signal change?
Hawkeye: Yeah, it just turned yellow.
Bartholomew: Alright then, u have to continue slowly.
Hawkeye: Uh, Bartholomew?
Bartholomew: Yes?
Hawkeye: I've been an engineer since 1947. I know what I'm doing.
Bartholomew: I was just making sure u knew. On The London & New England Railway, we made sure the engineer knew so no accidents would accure.
Coffee Creme: Don't u mean occur?
Bartholomew: No, I mean accure. Carry on *teleports back to train*
Meanwhile, on the train
Bartholomew: *sees passenger*
Passenger: *looking at map of Equestria* Hey, dude. Do u know how long it would take to get from Germany to my place if I was driving?
Bartholomew: (Not this again.) Perhaps u should try looking at an actual world map instead of that pace of trash l:(
Passenger: Who asked you? Fine, if you're gonna be like that, I'll use my smartphone, and it'll tell me how to get there, and how long it will take.
Bartholomew: I hate my life *jumps out train*
Passenger: *looks up directions* What's his problem? *continues looking* WHHHATTT?!?!
Passenger 2: Be quiet! We're watching the scenery!
Passenger: I gotta swim across the Atlantic ocean!! Fuck your scenery!
Passenger 2: *looks at smartphone* Now I see why the conductor jumped out of the train. *jumps out of train*
Meanwhile, near the tracks
Bartholomew: *sees passenger land on hooves* Are u alright?
Passenger 2: Yeah. I just saw somepony using a smartphone!!
Bartholomew: We can't use those in 1951. Yet he, and another worker on this railroad I know did it!
Passenger 2: Do u suppose they were looking up the same thing?
Bartholomew: Yes, they actually were.
Passenger 2: Why?
Bartholomew: Not sure.
90 minuten later at Denver's train station
Hawkeye: *stops at station*
Coffee Creme: *looks back* Wait a minute, where's Bartholomew?
Hawkeye: What do u mean? He's in the tr- *looks back* He's gone.
Coffee Creme: We gotta find him *climbs out engine*
Hawkeye: I gotta stay here!
Coffee Creme: Did u see the conductor?
Passenger: Did u see a plane to Neigh York?
Coffee Creme: No?
Passenger: Then I can't help u (God I can't believe I have to swin across the atlantic ocean!)
Passenger 3: Excuse me, miss? Did u say u were looking for your conductor?
Coffee Creme: Yes. u saw him?
Passenger 3: He jumped out the train. That passenger u were just talking to was using some futuristic machine, and annoyed the conductor, and another passenger.
Coffee Creme: Oh no
Back at Cheyenne
Pete: So u don't feel like u can be a conductor right?
Bartholomew: N-n-no sir, I don't.
Pete: Well, u can work in the yards if you'd like.
Bartholomew: Sure.
Snowflake: Big mistake!
Bartholomew: Why?
Pete: Ah, she's just teasing. Gordon worked in the yards last year, and he had a tough time.
Bartholomew: Where is Gordon anyway?
Gordon: *swimming in atlantic ocean* I should be close soon. *looks up* LAND!!! *swims toward land*
Nearby was a startbaan, start-en landingsbaan in an airport
startbaan, start-en landingsbaan pony: Land!
Pilot: *about to land*
Gordon: Am I in Germany?!
startbaan, start-en landingsbaan pony: No, this is Jersey City.
Pilot: *crashes into building*
Gordon: Oh.
Meanwhile in the train yard at Cheyenne.
Red Rose: Orion, a little faster please.
Orion: *pushes freight cars a little faster*
Bartholomew: I don't see why Gordon hated this. *uncouples freight cars*
Red Rose: Be careful Bartholomew, there's a tank car with chemicals coming toward you. Uncouple it from the rest of the train.
Bartholomew: Ok
Orion: *pushes chemical car past Bartholomew*
Bartholomew: hallo wait!! *runs past chemical car*
Orion: *stops*
Bartholomew: *uncouples tank car*
The tank car started rolling, but Bartholomew's hoof somehow got stuck on the ladder*
Bartholomew: AHH! HELP!!!
Red Rose: What?
Orion: The?
Bartholomew: FUCK!! *nearly hits signal*
Orion: I hope he doesn't get hurt
Bartholomew: *grabs gun*
Red Rose: Why does he have that?
Bartholomew: *shoots ladder* I got to get free *shoots ladder*
Orion: Look out for the box car volgende to your tank car
Bartholomew: AH *hits box car, and falls off tank car* I'M OK!! Leave me here so I can rest my broken bones!!
The End
On The volgende Episode Of Ponies On The Rails
Gordon shows u how he got a smartphone in 1951
#1: He CAN be funny:
But he never seems to try too hard.
Eight Crazy Nights shows how much he wastes his OWN talents..
#2: I actually LIKE his normal voice:
But, I'm guessing that he thinks it is funny to sound as annoying as possible, even though his normal voice is WAY funnier, than a tone deaf voice..
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But he never seems to try too hard.
Eight Crazy Nights shows how much he wastes his OWN talents..
#2: I actually LIKE his normal voice:
But, I'm guessing that he thinks it is funny to sound as annoying as possible, even though his normal voice is WAY funnier, than a tone deaf voice..
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1☆ everything i do, i do it for you
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
2☆ please forgive me
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
3☆ summer of '69
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
4☆ heaven
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
5☆ run to you
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
6☆ straight from the heart
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
7☆ here i am
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
8☆ somebody
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
9☆ never let go
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
10☆ kids wanna rock
☆.☆.☆.☆.☆.
1: Clearence Little:
The corrupt cop Francis McCreary wants Clearence dead for reasons explained in the beginning cut away (most of them self centred).
I don't really like killing this guy, despite the fact he tries to kill u later in a random encounter.
He's still was pleading for life, and Niko doesn't seem like the type who would kill someone on their knees... Unless it's friggin Dimitri.
If u do the excutution verplaats on him, Niko will even apologize for having killed him..
2: Dwayne Forge
I always kill Playboy instead of Dwayne.
Cause Dwayne is such a nice guy, and it makes me feel meer guilty..
The corrupt cop Francis McCreary wants Clearence dead for reasons explained in the beginning cut away (most of them self centred).
I don't really like killing this guy, despite the fact he tries to kill u later in a random encounter.
He's still was pleading for life, and Niko doesn't seem like the type who would kill someone on their knees... Unless it's friggin Dimitri.
If u do the excutution verplaats on him, Niko will even apologize for having killed him..
2: Dwayne Forge
I always kill Playboy instead of Dwayne.
Cause Dwayne is such a nice guy, and it makes me feel meer guilty..
episode: ALL ABOUT THE MORMONS
Stan refuses to become Greg's friend, because he believe's his family religion is stupid, and the family is disturbingly nice..
But Greg later approaches Stan, saying he won't try to be his friend anymore, and also uses the following speech...
"Look, maybe us Mormons do believe in crazy stories that make absolutely no sense, and maybe Joseph Smith did make it all up, but I have a great life. and a great family, and I have the Book of Mormon to thank for that. The truth is, I don't care if Joseph Smith made it all up, because what the church teaches now is loving your family, being nice and helping people. And even though people in this town might think that's stupid, I still choose to believe in it. All I ever did was try to be your friend, Stan, but you're so high and mighty u couldn't look past my religion and just be my friend back. You've got a lot of growing up to do, buddy. Suck my balls."
Stan refuses to become Greg's friend, because he believe's his family religion is stupid, and the family is disturbingly nice..
But Greg later approaches Stan, saying he won't try to be his friend anymore, and also uses the following speech...
"Look, maybe us Mormons do believe in crazy stories that make absolutely no sense, and maybe Joseph Smith did make it all up, but I have a great life. and a great family, and I have the Book of Mormon to thank for that. The truth is, I don't care if Joseph Smith made it all up, because what the church teaches now is loving your family, being nice and helping people. And even though people in this town might think that's stupid, I still choose to believe in it. All I ever did was try to be your friend, Stan, but you're so high and mighty u couldn't look past my religion and just be my friend back. You've got a lot of growing up to do, buddy. Suck my balls."
In celebration of finally beating Red Dead 2.. Here's best quotes of new protagonst, Arthur Morgan..
#1:
Arthur: Damn Marston. That's smart.. u might the only guy I know, to be half eaten door wolves, and come back a smarter man..
#2:
Arthur: As long as we get paid of u get shot I'm happy.
#3:
Arthur: Maybe when your mother is finished mourning your father... I'll keep her in black, on your behalf.
#4:
Arthur: John made it. He's the only one. Rest of us... No.
#5:
Arthur: This whole thing is pretty much done. We're meer ghosts than people.
#6:
Tommy: Come on than pretty boy!
Arthur: Pretty boy? You're kidding me, Pretty Boy!?
#7:
Micah: Seems were the only ones crazy enough to be out here.
Arthur: Don't speak to me about 'crazy'.
#8:
Arthur: I gave u all I had....
#1:
Arthur: Damn Marston. That's smart.. u might the only guy I know, to be half eaten door wolves, and come back a smarter man..
#2:
Arthur: As long as we get paid of u get shot I'm happy.
#3:
Arthur: Maybe when your mother is finished mourning your father... I'll keep her in black, on your behalf.
#4:
Arthur: John made it. He's the only one. Rest of us... No.
#5:
Arthur: This whole thing is pretty much done. We're meer ghosts than people.
#6:
Tommy: Come on than pretty boy!
Arthur: Pretty boy? You're kidding me, Pretty Boy!?
#7:
Micah: Seems were the only ones crazy enough to be out here.
Arthur: Don't speak to me about 'crazy'.
#8:
Arthur: I gave u all I had....
Song: link
Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! Pingas!
A not so long time geleden in a world ruled door ponies
Theme song: link
HEDGEHOG IN PONYVILLE
Episode XI
Return To Ponyville
Discord has taken over the Prisoner Of War camp where I was sent, with regenboog Dash, Princess Celestia, and many other ponies.
However, the Nazi Forces were planning on making a space station, called the Death Egg, and they needed meer money to finishbuilding this death defying space station.
To make meer money, they ordered Discord to sell me, and the other...
