Critical Analysis of Twilight Article: Twilight... The Right Way

19

posted by xxXsk8trXxx

This artikel may be offencive to a lot of Twihards. Viewer disgrettion is advised

Edward: Bella,I'm dangerous, stay away.
Bella: But Edward, I love you!
Edward: Me too, but I'm dangerous, so u have to stay away from me
Bella: But Edward, you're the love of my life! We have to be together!
Edward: Fear me and my sparkiling skin! *takes off shirt*
Bella: Wait a second, u sparkle?
Edward: Isn't it frightening?
Bella: No. Sorry to break it to ya Edward, but it's gay
Edward: I kissed Emmet one time...
Bella: How old are you?
Edward: 100
Bella: Eeew! Aren't there laws about 100 jaar olds and 17 jaar olds being together?
Edward: Who cares about thoes laws, I love u and u and u love me...
Bella: Correction. I hate you. Your skin sparkles and you're gay. Not to mention your age.
Edward: But Bella...
Bella: *leaves*
Edward: I knew I should've taken Jessica!

Bella: *at Jacob's* Hey, Jake!
Jacob: Hi!
Bella: So wassup?
Jacob: You're pretty
Bella: Excuse me?
Jacob: *trys to touch boobs*
Bella: *pulls hand away* Jacob!
Jacob: You're pretty
Bella: Okay, that's enough! You're not getting any of me! *leaves*
Jacob: ... she's pretty

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~THE volgende DAY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bella: *at mayors* MAYOR! MAYOR!
Mayor: What is it?
Bella: SO THERE'S VAMPIRES AND WEARWOLVES! I HAVE PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE!!!!!!!!!!! *shows evidence*
Mayor: HOLY COW! LET'S GET EM!!!!!

*at Cullens house*
Mayor: We're banning u from the town.
Carslile: But...
Mayor: verplaats SOMEWHERE ELSE! YOUR HOUSE AND ALL OF YOUR THINGS ARE ON SALE, VAMPIRES! YOU'RE NOT EVEN VAMPIRES! u SPARKLE!
Bella: Yeah!
Edward: Bella, how could you?
Bella: u liyng bitch!

*at Quillitete tribe bonfire place*
Mayor: verplaats YOUR TRIBE SOMEWHERE ELSE, WOLVES!
Sam: Who did this?
Bella: Me, dog.
Sam: Grr....
Jacob: ... She's pretty
Sam: LETS GET HIM!!!!
Mayor: WHO'S THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN? verplaats NOW!

The quillitetes and the cullens moved away. Bella found a nice well-rounded guy with black hair and blue eyes named Marcus, whom she married. Edward became gay, and Jacob just couldn't stop thinking about Bella. He tried to stalk her, and now is imprisoned for life.

and that's my version of Twilight!

AlmostGenius, Kassaremidylynn and 17 others like this

TDI_Angel LOL thats hilarious! XD

bendaimmortal "Edward: Fear me and my sparkiling skin! *takes off shirt* Bella: Wait a second, you sparkle? Edward: Isn't it frightening?" xDD I think I'm gonna live a good 50 years longer for that. (As laughins's supposed to prolong life.) "Sam: Who did this? Bella: Me, dog. Sam: Grr.... " That was great too. :'D Ah but all in all, this is goooood. The only thing I found a tad too old is the whole gay theme. I've never been big on gay humour (nor gay fiction) anyway but by now it's also really is getting old. I am not a homophobi at all, in any way, and that's exactly why I feel this way. But don't get me wrong - I honestly really do enjoy this. 4 stars. (:

Frizzhead Lol so funny but i tink the obbsessive people wont like being called twihards

XChatterbox14x hehe thats funny - " you're not even vampires you sparkle!" so true - though im a twilight fan

kayleebabee HAA! i am going to live for ages it was am hour ago that i actually started to write this...

spellpatronus ROFL!

29

Hitler Was Not Dazzled door Breaking Dawn

added by sylar_rocks

Contains strong language. It's not an anti video if u don't mind the lulz.

video

twilight

funny

parody

hitler

breaking dawn

stephenie meyer

dazzling

criticism

16

pic

added by Disaster

5

Edward Body hoofdkussen, kussen

added by nuxi

Source: etsy

37

12 Ways to Annoy Crazed Obsessive Twilight Fangirls

posted by sapherequeen

*Most I made up, a few I admit I saw on a video but I stated these ways in my own words so it is therefore not plagiarism*

1) Tell a fangirl that you'll send her a T-shirt with rare pictures of Edward Cullen on the front and back in two days, make sure she gets extremely excited. When the two days go by, send her a T-shirt with pics of Hagrid from Harry Potter instead.
link
2) Tell the fangirls that all gay men sparkle.
3) Tell the fangirls that the Quielete werewolves have major anger management issues if they turn into beasts when they got irritable...
4) Ask them for their Twilight merchandise,...

8

10 Reasons No Sane Person Would datum Edward Cullen (watch Supernatural instead)

added by samjhart

video

twilight

edward cullen

funny

criticism

critical analysis

bella zwaan-, zwaan

stephenie meyer

vampires

13

Why we Antis love our Pro spot members

posted by Mermaid-Tail

I think this spot and the majority of it's members have worked to ensure that when we talk about things we dislike about the series it's things we feel strongly about of have an actual point to make, not just mindless hating and that when we poke fun we try to keep an eye on the line between fun mockery and plain rudeness, even though that line can be debatable of hard to see. Still, there are some cases when I can see fans feeling left out, singled out of wanting out completely, and I don't like that. Part of the problem is something us antis can't really help with, which is that not many...

14

Dexter morgan meets Bella and Edward

added by Cinders

Source: RadRad @ Fanpop

13

Bella zwaan-, zwaan as a heroine should be illegal

posted by bendaimmortal

I'm just sayin' Bella is one of the worst role models ever when it comes to love, sex and life choices and should not have allowed to be published in any shape of form. I mean, when she's made the heroine of the story and marketted at teenage girls.

1. She's obsessively in love with a control freak stalker.

Unfortunately it seems the vast majority of the Twilight fangirls are too with the very same freak.

2. She wants him so bad that she'll abandone everyone else she loves so that she could be with him. Even when it means she'll practically have to become a blood-drinking corpse.

(The movie 'Eclipse'...

13

Twilight Vs. Harry Potter: A Breakdown

posted by shieldmaiden

Credit: Very Demotivational

I felt a compelling need to write this artikel because recently I have found myself meer constantly thrust into situations and debates where I have to defend the Harry Potter fandom against the Twilight fandom, which I despise so much. My best friend and her family are actually major pro-Twilight fans. This past evening made me realize that there are so many reasons why Harry Potter is much meer awesome than Twilight, and its not just the obvious ones either. Thus, I give u all the evidence u will ever need to successfully pwn a Twilight fan trying to bring your fandom down.

Obvious Reasons...

16

Are the accusations of Meyer 'stealing' plot ideas fair?

posted by Mermaid-Tail

OMG she totally stal that appel, apple from Adam and Eve!!!

OMG she totally stole that apple from Adam and Eve!!!

The people on this spot who know me will be aware I'm an anti, but I think a part of using this spot fairly means me not only talking when I have something against Twilight, but also fessing up when I don't think Meyer/the books/actros/etc are in the wrong. I've heard a lot about how many of Meyer's plot points are too similar to those in other vampire/fantasy stories. Well, that's never the way it's put. It's usually closer to "she totally ripped off _____. That's a stolen idea!" and I wanted to talk about why I actually disagree with most of those accusations. I say 'most of' and not 'all...

9

Rob antwoorden the vraag 'Who is better for Bella?'

added by katiecain

1:57-2:44 Have I zei how much I love this man?

video

interview

new moon

robert pattinson

jacob black

edward cullen

bella zwaan-, zwaan

jacob and bella

edward and bella

5

Twilight VS. Vampires

added by bendaimmortal

Source: door BratPrinceFan at DeviantArt

5

Various Twilight stuff

added by Mallory23

Source: http://www.forksforum.com/twilight

2

Vampires don't...

posted by Dragonsphere

Twilight vamps&other people;

Don't have fangs,
sparke in sunshine,
live on animal blood and call themselves veggies,
don't have a lumpy face,
live in really rich mansions(?),
don't have souls but are completely lame like rehabilitated drug-users(that never took drugs),
Can't be staked
Are looked (from the fangirls view)upon as superior beings that don't hurt anyone and call themselves dangerous
Stalk young girls only to seem romantic
Fall inlove with small children and beg to be their lover while they are like 16(just 12)
Don't belong in sassy teenage crap that is pure drama

They arenot vampires...

13

Too furious for words... *Sorry, this is just a random rant*

posted by sapherequeen

Ok, so I visited a fanclub not too long geleden and I noticed this one vraag I asked; "If Bella killed Renesmee, would Edward forgive her?" of something like that.

I looked at the comments, and at first they were fine. But then as they progressed to the meer recent ones, I had one girl saying what a stupid vraag to ask, and some other crackhead telling me to go f**k myself.

Being my highly emotional self, I was irked to no end and I responded to these comments.

I'm trying to find a way to just wis this question, because I geplaatst it a jaar geleden and don't even recall the reasons why it was...

21

What's so great about Robert Pattinson!?

posted by AliceHaleCullen

Right ok, so there's all this hype surrounding Rob meer so than any of the other cast from Twilight. But why?

It's not because he's the hottest. Because, well he just isn't. He was voted 'sexiest man alive' in numerous magazines such as heat and glamour. My personal favourite from the Twilight film is Peter Facinelli. I met him in July and he is the most geniune actor I have heard of. He has time for his fans, something which Rob doesn't.

Then again Rob does gets chased door crazed fan girls, so yeah valid excuse. But say if Peter played Edward, everyone would be all over him just because of the...

25

An artikel from a Twilight fan

posted by laureng114

First off, I would like to say that I have absolutely no problem with the C.A.T. spot and have just joined myself. If anything, I think that this spot is a good idea and is definitely NOT an anti-spot. The point of this artikel is to explain the point of view of a Twilight fan that does not just like the series because Edward Cullen is SO HOTTT <333, Vampires are AwEsOmE, etc. etc.

Let me start off door saying that I am SICK of uneducated Twilight fans making the rest of us look like a bunch of air-heads. door uneducated I mean fans that scream their heads off whenever they see a picture of Robert...

2

From books-to-movies...

posted by Imyselfandme

Many people bash populair films because "It didn't measure up in the exact way they thought it would.

STOP PEOPLE!!! Stop your too Critical Analysis sometimes.Stop your phony rebukes.Just STOP!!!

And accept films the way they come.

As a one time auteur of a book called Elfin Magic (become a fan of it:link)

I think i can speak for all(or at least most)authors when I say It's FINE!!! If someone offers u a direct line to the films and the auteur refuses because the director says some plans that differentiate from the book and someone refuses then they are just stupid!!!

Miner changes and summarizing...

7

(Bella) u Belong with me Jacob Black Remix with lyrics

added by katiecain

Haaa xD

video

u belong with me

taylor snel, swift

jacob black

remix

jacob and bella

twilight

new moon

funny

parody

9

Comic Strip

added by Frizzhead