This artikel may be offencive to a lot of Twihards. Viewer disgrettion is advised




Edward: Bella,I'm dangerous, stay away.
Bella: But Edward, I love you!
Edward: Me too, but I'm dangerous, so u have to stay away from me
Bella: But Edward, you're the love of my life! We have to be together!
Edward: Fear me and my sparkiling skin! *takes off shirt*
Bella: Wait a second, u sparkle?
Edward: Isn't it frightening?
Bella: No. Sorry to break it to ya Edward, but it's gay
Edward: I kissed Emmet one time...
Bella: How old are you?
Edward: 100
Bella: Eeew! Aren't there laws about 100 jaar olds and 17 jaar olds being together?
Edward: Who cares about thoes laws, I love u and u and u love me...
Bella: Correction. I hate you. Your skin sparkles and you're gay. Not to mention your age.
Edward: But Bella...
Bella: *leaves*
Edward: I knew I should've taken Jessica!

Bella: *at Jacob's* Hey, Jake!
Jacob: Hi!
Bella: So wassup?
Jacob: You're pretty
Bella: Excuse me?
Jacob: *trys to touch boobs*
Bella: *pulls hand away* Jacob!
Jacob: You're pretty
Bella: Okay, that's enough! You're not getting any of me! *leaves*
Jacob: ... she's pretty


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~THE volgende DAY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bella: *at mayors* MAYOR! MAYOR!
Mayor: What is it?
Bella: SO THERE'S VAMPIRES AND WEARWOLVES! I HAVE PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE!!!!!!!!!!! *shows evidence*
Mayor: HOLY COW! LET'S GET EM!!!!!

*at Cullens house*
Mayor: We're banning u from the town.
Carslile: But...
Mayor: verplaats SOMEWHERE ELSE! YOUR HOUSE AND ALL OF YOUR THINGS ARE ON SALE, VAMPIRES! YOU'RE NOT EVEN VAMPIRES! u SPARKLE!
Bella: Yeah!
Edward: Bella, how could you?
Bella: u liyng bitch!

*at Quillitete tribe bonfire place*
Mayor: verplaats YOUR TRIBE SOMEWHERE ELSE, WOLVES!
Sam: Who did this?
Bella: Me, dog.
Sam: Grr....
Jacob: ... She's pretty
Sam: LETS GET HIM!!!!
Mayor: WHO'S THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN? verplaats NOW!


The quillitetes and the cullens moved away. Bella found a nice well-rounded guy with black hair and blue eyes named Marcus, whom she married. Edward became gay, and Jacob just couldn't stop thinking about Bella. He tried to stalk her, and now is imprisoned for life.

and that's my version of Twilight!