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posted by iluvsmj
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at u trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but u my friend!! yes you!! u CAN KISS MY ASS*******

If u didn't have feet u wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do u wear a bra??!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for u %n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don't wanna be mean, but u need listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole friggin bottle

People like u are the reason I'm on medication.

Don't piss me off today, I'm running out of places to hide these bodies

I have always woundered why people bang their heads against brick walls..... then I met you.

Don't bother leaving a message.

Don't let your mind wander. It's way to small to be outside door itself!

I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you.
Hey, Remember that time I told u I thought u were cool? I LIED.

I need you...........I want you............To get out of my face

Damn not u again.......

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but u abuse the privilege.

If I wanted to talk to you, I would have called u first.

I am not anti-social..I just don't like you

If you're gonna act like a dick u should wear a condom on your head so u can at least look like one !!!

Hmm...I dont know what your probelm is...but I'm going to bet it's really hard to pronounce...

There are some stupid people in this world. u just helped me realize it.

Until u called me I couldn't remember the last time I wanted somebody's fingers to break so badly.

If u ran 1,000,000 miles to see the boy/girl of your dreams, what would u say when u got there?

Wow, u looked a lot hotter from a distance!

annuleer my subscriptions ... I'm tired of your issues.

I may be fat,but you're ugly,and I can diet!!!

Earth is full. Go home.

If I could be one person for a day, it sure as hell wouldn't be you.

Hey, heres a hint. If i don't answer u the first 25 times, what makes u think the volgende 25 will work?

how do u keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll get back to you...

Oh dear! Looks like u fell out of the ugly boom and hit every branch on the way down!

What's that ugly thing growing out of your neck... Oh... It's your head...

I'm sorry, Talking to u seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns.

Oh I'm sorry, how many times did your parents drop u when u were a baby?

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.

God made mountains, god made trees, god made u but we all make mistakes.

Remember JESUS loves u but everyone else thinks you're an idiot.

I'm not mean ... you're just a sissy.

Sorry I can't think of an insult stupid enough for you.

Why don't u go outside any play, hide and go f**k yourself

Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone

How about a little less vragen and a little meer shut the hell up? I'm away live with it.

FOR THE LAST TIME! Your mother left here at 9 this

morning... Leave me alone!
Let's see, I've walked the dog, cleaned my room, gone shopping and gossiped with my friends...Nope, this lijst doesn't say that I'm required to talk to you.

When u were born u were so ugly that instead of slapping you, the doctor slapped your mom!

My Mom zei never talk to strangers and well, since you're really strange.... I guess that means I can't talk to you!

Forget the ugly stick! u must have been born in the ugly forrest!

I really don't like u but if u really must leave a message, I'll be nice and at least pretend to care.

u know the drill! u leave a message....and I ignore it!

The Village just called. They zei they were missing their town idiot, I couldn't really understand them, but I think they were saying the name was yours...

I'm not here right now so cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and GET OVER IT!!!

Why are u bothering me? I have my away message on cause I don't want to listen to u and your stupid nonsense.

u dont know me, u just wish u did.

Hey- I am away from my computer but in the meantime, why don't u go play in traffic?!

u have your whole life to be a jerk....so why dont u take a dag off so.. leave me a message for when I get back!!!!
added by r-pattz
Source: oddee.com
added by GeekGirl
added by Kiniko90
added by Wolfdreamer9
Source: Deviantart
added by twilovers
Source: idk ):
added by ladolcevita
Source: Hmmm... Um,well EW.com, Everglow, Mugglenet, me!, forgot the last
posted by ITF
door Jami Sassone

The man with the metal rod returns today
He summons me in the most painful way
It burns. It stings. It's scorching hot.
I yell, "please stop!" He will not
Why?

To the rack; I brace for the worst
He violates me again; this time's not the first
Back to my cage, to wonder how long
Yearning for antwoorden to what I've done wrong?

Nine months later the answer arrives
I now have someone for whom to survive
Three times I've felt love, one being today
Three times, as well, it's been taken away.
Why?

My melk is for you, not him all
You enjoy what u eat, but remember my calls
When the cheese melts nicely...
continue reading...
pannekoeken, pannenkoeken can be found in many cultures around the world, although they might not use the same ingredients as pancakes, they are generally similar in taste and texture.

Maple syrup, which goes great with pancakes, is actually a boom sap, that comes from the esdoorn-, esdoorn tree, which is found mostly in the Canadian region.

The French often make a wish while turning the pancake during the cooking process, while holding a coin in the other hand.

The first recipe for pannekoeken, pannenkoeken were listed in the 15th century, in a English cookbook.

The world's largest pancake was cooked in Roch-dale Manchester in the jaar 1994,...
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NOT SLASH!
Note: I can not freaking write ;3;
--------------------------------
Jaime couldn't believe how much the newest team member, the hyperactive teen speedster from the future, had seemed to enjoy being around him. It seemed whenever they were even in the same room together Bart would rush over to start talking to him. He didn't know why his new friend had liked him so much, he liked everybody on the team, but not near as much as him.

It wasn't anything extremely close, but it was close as two guys could get without being gay. That may sound strange, but it's pretty much the only way one...
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posted by sideshowbobbart
1) u will go slightly out of your way to step on a crunchy looking leaf

2) u will check the Fridge to see if any food has magically appeared

3)You hate it when its all quiet and u are eating something crunchy

4) The guy who discovered milk...what was he doing to the cow?

5) When we were little, why were we so scared of our parents counting to three?

6) u hate it when u run out of hot water in the middle of a shower

7) It sucks when u are in the middle of a huge argument and realize u are wrong

8) u think of the best thing to say to your rival 10 minuten after the right moment

9)...
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previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Jenni Peter and Tina were thinking of a way to find out who was trying to wreck their house then all of a sudden there was a noise and it was coming from Tina's room. Tina got mad cause she doesnt let ANYONE besides Peter and Jenni and herself in her room. she was about to stomp over to her room but Jenni stepped in front of her and tried to calm Tina down Peter helped out with trying to calm Tina down as well. Tina sighed calming down after that they all went to Tina's room when they opened the door they were all shocked Tina's cd's were all broken her paintings...
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Abounding times in your life u will meet mean of rude people that u dislike, but you'll still have to pretend to like them anyway. This artikel will teach u all about how to deal with them.

1)Look right at them say their name and ask them politely to stop. Keep repeating until their attitude changes of they stop. Example "Mike, please stop", of u can say, "That's not appreciated, please cut that out." Don't keep increasing aggressiveness until the balance of power is equalized, it just will make things worse.
2)Don't try to be better than them, it will make the situation worse. If they...
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***Lol this was probably a lot funnier to the drunk people who wrote it at three in the morning but.... here u go xD

Or if you'd just rather check it out on youtube:
link

I wanna be a grizzly bear, so beary bad
Stealin' honey from bees just to make them mad
I wanna live in the forest with, Booboo and Yogi
So we can steal picnic baskets as three

Oh every time I close my eyes...
I see the back of my eyelids
And I bet u didn't know this
I swear, the world is unprepared for when I'm a Grizzly bear

Yeah I would climb trees like bears do
And probably attack you, not an every day
Hike in the forest
I'd probably...
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One dag a group of girls were having fun and being crazy, laughing and talking to each other in funny voices, careless of what the other kids at school thought of them. A girl walked up to them and told them they were all pathetic losers, giving each of the girls a different insult. She then walked away with her head held high. All the girls looked at each other and burst into laughter. The mean girl turned around and asked
“Why are u laughing? I just insulted all of u losers”
“Well, we just find it hilariously pathetic how u feel u have to take the time to make fun of us. u obviously...
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posted by j-bfan7
My name is Chris ,

I am three,

My eyes are swollen..

I cannot see.



I must be stupid,

I must be bad,

What else could have made,

My daddy so mad?



I wish I were better,

I wish I weren't ugly

, Then maybe my mommy,

Would still want to hug me.



I can't do a wrong,

I can't speak at all,

Or else I'm locked up,

All dag long.



When I'm awake,

I'm all alone,

The house is dark,

My folks aren't home.



When my mommy does come home,

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll just get,

One whipping tonight.



I just heard a car,

My daddy is back,

From Charlie's bar



I hear him curse,

My name is called ,

I press myself,

Against the wall.



I try...
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1. The only bird that can fly backwards is the hummingbird.

2. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

3. A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds!

4. A rat survive longer without water than a camel.

5. Toupees for dogs are sold in Tokyo

6. A dolfijn sleeps with one eye open

7. A krokodil can't stick it's tounge out

8. A mammal's blood is red, an insect's blood is yellow, and a lobster's blood is blue!

9. Loud, fast muziek makes termites chew faster

10. A blue whale's tounge weighs meer than a elephant

11. Ablutophobia is the fear of bathing

12. Acarophobia is the fear of itching

13. Agyrophobia...
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posted by starwarsfangirl
These are just random ways to eat my favoriete cookies: oreos.
A lot of these sound really weird and gross, but they're actually pretty good.

1. without milk
2. with milk
3. with chocoloate milk
4. with aardbei milk
5. frozen
6. frozen with milk
7. frozen with warm milk
8. with honey
9. in ice cream
10. in frozen yogurt
11. in frozen yogurt with honey
12. with 7up
13. with pinda butter
14. frozen with pinda butter
15. frozen with 7up
16. with pinda boter and 7up
17. with kers-, cherry 7up
18. frozen with kers-, cherry 7up
19. frozen with pinda boter and kers-, cherry 7up
20. door itself

If u try any of these and like it, please write a commentaar and tell me which one(s) u tried. :)
Five easy ways that lemons can kill you. (some of these are ironic, but if u think about it, sometimes they can happen!!!)

1. A citroen is lying on the top, boven step, and u are carrying your laptop in your hands when your about to go down the steps. seconden later u land on your ass, and volgende u are in the hospital with a severe concussion.

2. A citroen is sweet and fresh, and your mother uses it in her cooking. of course, she doesn't see the bite marks on the back of the citroen that was created door your dog when the basket was too close to the edge a few days ago, so she squeezes the citroen into her...
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I was bored so I wrote this for anyone who doesn't know me...Sort of entertaining.

Ash

Yeah,I'm different, don't think I will be offended if u ever, one dag decide to call me that. If u think I'm insane, run away, because u are probably right. Think I need help? Of course I do. Find me stupid?I will not contradict you, and I will not deny it. Want to make me jealous? Not going to happen. Feel like I'm asking too many questions?Yeah, me too u a little annoyed that I keep doing this? Haha, It was meant to makeyou a little annoyed. u think that I'm just babbling here? Click the little X at the right hand corner of the screen/tab. Don't know whereit is? Get the crud out of your eyes.

Um...I am Ash. And I approve this message .