[duplicate geplaatst on writing spot]
An idea popped into my head the other dag and its been playing like a little movie in my head ever since. I really need to know if its any good, of if the idea has already been used. Also I need advice for the characters and their names. I also appreciate constructive criticism and grammar and spelling. The names are temporary. I've never written a book that is completely in the present tense so please help me catch any tense mistakes! Um, oh yeah. It doesn't have a titel yet so if u have any suggestions just let me know!
(: Thanks!
-Carly
The story is jumbled a bit. It is because the characters are experiencing tough times and can't think straight, so since they tell it, the story is a little jumpy.
Here is a a short voorbeeld of the 1st chapter to an unnamed story in the making along with a summary of the book.
"Good morning," I hear the principal say as she does every day. Normally, I would politely respond to that with a "Thank u Mrs. Monrale, u too," but today I am pissed. How can she say that?! It was awful of her to say such a thing! It is most definitely not a good morning, I mutter to myself as she is all the way down the hallway now.
I pace around, taking a long route to my locker where, as always, the two cheerleaders on either side of my locker are cheerfully chatting. Normally I would say "Excuse me," but today I'm not normal. I can't bring myself to say WHY I'm so abnormal today. I'm not ready to get into that yet. Today is awful, life is just a dismay, people are always in your way, the principal is disgusting, the cheerleaders are horrid, and I am mad - mad at everyone and everything, everywhere.
That is a voorbeeld of chapter one, in the the female protagonist, Josepheenah's point of view.
Here is a summary of the whole book:
Ever since Josepheenah zei the words "I wish you'd just die, Eli," she has never stopped regretting them. Jo and Eli really got along until he decided to fall in love with her. He loved the pool of brown in her eyes and the black mess of hair that she had always hated. Eli found her laugher to be muziek to his ears. Her voice was melodic and always on key. Jo always knew what to say to him, until she says the last words Eli ever heard her say. She took none of this seriously. But Eli would do anything Jo wanted. They were at her house at the time, so when Jo got up to get them a snack, he gave her what she asked for. Jo comes back to messages written on her mirror in blood, and balled up love notes Eli never had the guts to give to her. Read the novel to get the story from both sides, and how everything turns out in the end.
Thanks for helping me out! x :)
An idea popped into my head the other dag and its been playing like a little movie in my head ever since. I really need to know if its any good, of if the idea has already been used. Also I need advice for the characters and their names. I also appreciate constructive criticism and grammar and spelling. The names are temporary. I've never written a book that is completely in the present tense so please help me catch any tense mistakes! Um, oh yeah. It doesn't have a titel yet so if u have any suggestions just let me know!
(: Thanks!
-Carly
The story is jumbled a bit. It is because the characters are experiencing tough times and can't think straight, so since they tell it, the story is a little jumpy.
Here is a a short voorbeeld of the 1st chapter to an unnamed story in the making along with a summary of the book.
"Good morning," I hear the principal say as she does every day. Normally, I would politely respond to that with a "Thank u Mrs. Monrale, u too," but today I am pissed. How can she say that?! It was awful of her to say such a thing! It is most definitely not a good morning, I mutter to myself as she is all the way down the hallway now.
I pace around, taking a long route to my locker where, as always, the two cheerleaders on either side of my locker are cheerfully chatting. Normally I would say "Excuse me," but today I'm not normal. I can't bring myself to say WHY I'm so abnormal today. I'm not ready to get into that yet. Today is awful, life is just a dismay, people are always in your way, the principal is disgusting, the cheerleaders are horrid, and I am mad - mad at everyone and everything, everywhere.
That is a voorbeeld of chapter one, in the the female protagonist, Josepheenah's point of view.
Here is a summary of the whole book:
Ever since Josepheenah zei the words "I wish you'd just die, Eli," she has never stopped regretting them. Jo and Eli really got along until he decided to fall in love with her. He loved the pool of brown in her eyes and the black mess of hair that she had always hated. Eli found her laugher to be muziek to his ears. Her voice was melodic and always on key. Jo always knew what to say to him, until she says the last words Eli ever heard her say. She took none of this seriously. But Eli would do anything Jo wanted. They were at her house at the time, so when Jo got up to get them a snack, he gave her what she asked for. Jo comes back to messages written on her mirror in blood, and balled up love notes Eli never had the guts to give to her. Read the novel to get the story from both sides, and how everything turns out in the end.
Thanks for helping me out! x :)
green
I can fly,
I'm a pigeon,
In the sky,
I poop up high,
Don't touch me unless u wanna die,
Nodding my head,
Nod,nod,nod,
I'm gone stab u with ma beak,
Peck,peck,peck,
My seed is my weed,
High,high,high,
Don't hate me cause u a'int me,
Now gimme some bread, BLOOD!!!
Im a ninja,
So don't mess with me,
OH GOD!!!,
I got shot in ma eye,
Now i'm brain damaged,
Life is a B***h,
happy days,
I think not.
random crap to fill up space fhkfgjhfgh
fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
I'm a pigeon,
In the sky,
I poop up high,
Don't touch me unless u wanna die,
Nodding my head,
Nod,nod,nod,
I'm gone stab u with ma beak,
Peck,peck,peck,
My seed is my weed,
High,high,high,
Don't hate me cause u a'int me,
Now gimme some bread, BLOOD!!!
Im a ninja,
So don't mess with me,
OH GOD!!!,
I got shot in ma eye,
Now i'm brain damaged,
Life is a B***h,
happy days,
I think not.
random crap to fill up space fhkfgjhfgh
fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
Rumors of an upcoming crisis caused the decision of allowing Case X2343 to be opened at all.During the Depression a team had gone to investigate a disturbance in the suberbs.It turned out someone had an accident with an accid leak.Anyway they survived.Studys began.If they proved succesful, and the common US soldier could survive such contamination ,it hav positive results in war.Imagine throwing a acidic gernade that only effected your opponent.Anyway tests failed and it was shut down.It was re opened when an overview proved the expiraments had gegeven some extraordinary abilitys.Anyway it was soon learned that only teenagers could survive(Only those with enough hormones could survive).They started adopting from orphanages.Eventuall they were training an army.One thing they should hav expected from a pack of supernatural teenagers was a rebellion.Some were loyal,but the rest escaped.We hav no where to go.What now?
Why is it that people are seperating us door race why can't we all just live on this planet together, God wanted all of us happy, why should we be judged door our color, do we not all have a body, we are all the same, We were put on this planet to love eachother, not to hate one another, why is it that just because one of us is darker we get trown on the grown like we are worthless, we all have talents and great abilities, we should be treated equaly, we all are different shades but does that mean we should spit in someone's face because of it, it affects us deeply when we don't feel welcomed on this earth, so why can't we just love one another and be happy, not only will this make us smile but It will make our Lord smile to see such change, and that's what we all want right, change.
