Twilight Series Article: Edward is a girl?! :O

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posted by Spotty_Vision21

I have come to a logical conclusion from some data I reviewed. Edward is not in fact Edward, but a female Edwina.

1.    Meyer claims “his” ability to knock up Bella is because they are like the incubi. Incubi were pretty much sex demons who knocked up innocent women. Why could they do so? They could change into succubi, the female version of the incubi and would sleep with men to steal their sperm.

2.    “He” wears lipstick. Vampires are dead. They do not have blood flow. And yet “his” lips are darker than Bella’s.

3.    “He” has moodswings similar to those from pregnant women and PMSing women.

4.    “He” glitters. ‘Nuff zei on that one.

5.    “He” refuses to sleep with Bella. Is “he” perhaps hiding “his” girl parts?

6.    “He” demands marriage. No guy EVER does that.

7.    “He” makes out with Bella all the time but never gets “excited” in his pants.

8.    “He” is a little *too* romantic.

9.    “He” was totally stripping for those Italian guys.

10.    “He” was never attracted to Rosalie even though most guys got excited just thinking about her.

11.    In addition to “his” mood swings, “he” frequently overreacts... and speaks like “he” reads too many classic novels about old white ladies in corsets.

12.    “He” is a vegetarian.

13.    “He” relates to girls rather too well.

So, in conclusion, either Edward is Edwina, of a raging, flaming, extremely gay man.

gelele, teamjane99 and 26 others like this

21 more comments

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leuron The fact that I identify with girls in many things doesn't mean I am a girl...

DarkSarcasm *is amused* XD

leuron At least I amuse you ;)

DarkSarcasm Always, M. Always. =P

edennirvana LMAO! 5 stars Spotty! ...and Jody, you certainly amuse me, LOL!

shortynme Wow, there are a lot of angry feelings going on in here. lol Can I just say that this article is obviously for laughs, nothing else. Unlike traditional Vampires, Stephenie Meyer has created her own version so any pre determined rules for them really can't apply (succubi and incubi included). Lets all just get a long and be friends :)

Nyssa LoL twilight825, I hope you're joking. If not, just chill girl! ;D Btw, for my part, I was joking - I'm finding this pretty funny actually.

Spotty_Vision21 Yeah, some people aren't being very nice. Lawl, they said [i]I[/i] had the crush on Edward. And yet they blow up when I made an article making fun of him

twilight825 yeah im joking my fingers were hurting but i got alot of ppl to add as a fan or waatever.... spotty Nyssa and more.... lol... spotty i give u props it is kinda funny lol my friend shortynme is right lets jus get along... one thing for sure i think Taylor Laurtner is hot and so is rob.and Kellan and Jackson... anyone agree roflol!

bellamay okey what i don't get is why u made Edward(a HOTTIE)as a girl! well i guess the lips are something aren't they? well just please don't talk about him. it's not right! would u like it if someone called you a boy.(pissed off!)

Spotty_Vision21 Actually I don't care when I am referred to as a boy. It makes me smile 'cause I know I'm not one of those preppy, make-up, short-skirt girls.

spikes_girl ^^ Same here Spotty! Great article, made me laugh so much (and I'm an Edward fan)!

675 lol, not alot of people appriciated this.

wildcatz Sorry spotty but edward is hot and obviously not a girl .It's still funny though.Next time you should make one of jacob being a girl.LOL jk.

rachel-rathbone OMG OK I LOVE TWILIGHT BUT THAT IS FUNNY MAYBE WE JUST TO EXEPT HE IS STILL THE PERFECT MAN FOR EVERYONE

Spotty_Vision21 Not for everyone dear. In your opinion he is a git to womankind. In my opinion he is a bipolar abusive stalker. We're all entitled to our opinions and I respect yours. :)

dangjessica Hahaha, now that you say it: soo true. Maybe Bella isn't that hott to get him "excited" in his pants.

Dragonclaws Cute. I was thinking of writing a humor piece putting it the other way, that Edward is a boy and Jacob is a girl. Edward is aggressive all the time, while Jacob is aggressive sporadically, linking to his wolf side, and werewolves traditionally being associated with the moon... Yeah, something like that.

-HuddyLove- Ha. I think it's hilarious how Edward fans get so worked up over this.

BellaCullenHale 1.That's Stupid as hell. 2.The blood dyes his lips that color. 3.He doesn't have moodswings. 4.His skin glitters,its hot not gay when your a vampire. 5.He's too strong for that,she's human he loves her and doesn't want to hurt her. 6.He loves her and has been waiting for like 90 years to find the girl he loves&&he found her so of course he'd want to marry her. 7.No guy ever does that unless they were gonna do somthin else after. 8.He was born in 1901,of course he's romantic think of when he was raised. 9.He wasen't stripping he was revealing himself to the humans,and btw their called The Volturi. 10.bc rosalie is stuck up. 11.Thats juss stupid. 12.He's vegitarian bc of Carsisle. 13.No he doesnt. I think it's pathetic that someone would take the time to write this bs. I wonder is your really think he's gay or you just saw taylor lautner??? I respect TeamJacob ppl but thats juss stupid. Di you even read the books before you wrote this??? ''Those italian guys'' I mean really? Read before you dish out bs.

DarkSarcasm LOL, children. LOL. XD

hannatl hehe dat is funny!

lyn0815 wow people get upset over nothing lol. I found it funny way to go spotty. i loved it. 5 *****

filand don't know why people getting their knickers in a twist. this was obv jus done for light hearted fun. i'm a massive twilight fan but thought it was hilarious. but then again i do have a sense of humour and know that twilight isn't real so get a grip people. it's not as if spotty dissed your grandma is it? hee hee

ninoska12 jerk. that is sooo not true. you must be talking about your self.overgrown dickface.