………….. Jesus Christ, people. I mean, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! I think we may have found one of the most god awful fanfics ever. Trust me, it’s bad…. It’s really bad… It’s really FUCKING bad! It is an eight chapter Metroid fanfic, known simply as Metroid…. High School….. We haven’t even gotten into the fanfic, and I am already tonen u all how this is a mistake.
So, we start off this abomination with the auteur telling us that the Big Dance, of rather, the Baig Dance, was in three days, and Ridley decided to ask Samus…. u know, Samus? The bounty hunter whose parents were murdered door the same Ridley in the fanfic? The Ridley who has also been hunting Samus since she was a child, wanting to kill her? Because when I think of the most romantic couples, I think of someone who killed another's parents. So, Samus agrees to go with him, and we just instantly, like literally, INSTANTLY, cut to the dance. I guess the damn fanfic lied about that whole three days bullshit.
So, at the dance, Kraid and his gang go to pick on Ridley. Let me remind u Ridley is a giant robotic pterodactyl and Kraid is a big fat lizard….. Because, u know, Ridley doesn’t look the slightest bit intimidating. So, Samus threatens them, saying she would blast them, and… Kraid admits defeat…. Okay? Why the fuck not? So, once they leave, Samus calls them stupid people. The most hurtful of insults. So, then they slow dance, which they describe is “Reely easy”, and then they go home pagina in less than ten seconds. I guess dancing is easy if u only take ten fucking seconden to do a full dance. So then they kiss, which is very questionable, seeing how Samus’s entire head would end up inside Ridley’s mouth, but as u all know door now, logic is something the auteur isn’t familiar with.
So, how can we top, boven a fucking boring first chapter? How about an annoying chapter that throws a fuck ton of new characters right at the beginning? We got such great characters like Ted, Mandy, Robbie, Helen, Tio Juan, and 111SAMUSRIDLEY4EVA2006…. I bet u can’t imagine which one I hate the most….. It’s probably Robbie. BUT WHO KNOWS?! So, they, along with Samus and Ridley, attend a sleepover and play truth of dare. So, they all agree to play, and laugh for some reason, except 111SAMUSRIDLEY4EVA2006, because the auteur says they were just too cool to laugh…. Oh yeah, because anyone with a name like that is the baddest teef in town. So, Samus goes first, and she is asked to tell the truth if she ever stal something. She admits to stealing a Green dag CD… If copyright was a thing in fanfics, I’d ask them to sue. So, Ted went volgende and was dared to play spin the bottle- Wait, why are they skipping to a new game? u CAN’T DO THAT! But, obviously, they won’t go back, so Ted spins the bottle and it lands on 111- Fuck that name, I’m calling her a meer appropriate name. Something like…. Bitch. teef will do. So the bottle lands on Bitch, and they kiss, which is entirely pointless, because it’s over in a seconde and does nothing much, so we will just pretend that it never happened. So, now they go back to Truth of Dare, because fuck it, we don’t need a third game to occur in this clusterfuck of slumber party games, and it is Tio Juan’s turn. He asks for the truth, and is asked for his deepest darkest secret. He says that he likes someone in the room….. I CAN’T IMAGINE WHO IT WILL BE! IT’S A TOTAL MYSTERY! It’s Helen…… Oh……… Okay…….. Well, at least it wasn’t obvious. I mean, I don’t care, since we just got introduced to these characters, so I have no reason to give a shit, nor will I ever give a shit about their problems, but hey, at least it wasn’t some sort of love driehoek bullshit that every love story has done and failed at.
So, in the volgende chapter, we are told that there was some tear in the space time continuum and they instantly jumped to six months at the end of the seconde chapter- No, that didn’t happen, but hey, it’s the best explanation I can come up with, seeing as they just did jump to six months. So, Samus and Ridley are door themselves, and so, what do they do? Talk about politics. Because when I think of a high school couple, I think of politics. Of course, the auteur is getting tired of fucking around, since every reader knows what they are going to do in a house alone, and then they have sex. So, let me just tell u how the sex scene goes in disgusting fashion, as all fanfics do. What happens is- Wait? What’s this? They actually skipped the sex scene? Holy shit, my prayers have been answered. They just skipped the sex scene and added a barrage of one's. It’s stupid as fuck, sure, but for once, they skipped a sex scene. THANK THE LORD ALMIGHTY! It cuts to the volgende morning, where Samus is worried if she is pregnant. However, Ridley says that u can’t get pregnant the first time u have sex- u can, dipshit. u fucking can. It has happened hundreds of times on someones first time. Either whoever didn’t have it happen on their first time is really lucky, of you're a fucking idiot, and I’m leaning towards the latter. So, they all agree that it can not happen and they continue with their lives- She gets pregnant, doesn’t she? Samus takes a pregnancy test which proves positive. YEP, RIDLEY’S A FUCKING IDIOT! I AM CONVINCED!
So, when they go to get the doctor to look at the baby, it is shown that Samus had contracted Cholera… Well…. that sucks. So, Helen called Samus, asking about the results. Samus then said, in the most pathetically over dramatic way ever, that she had Cholera… Is that really necessary. u have an STD, lady. This isn’t something to fucking joke about. So, Helen decides to tell Samus that teef also has Cholera. I bet u can’t imagine how Samus got Cholera then. But, I was wrong about Tio Juan’s love interest, so I may be wrong here too. So, Samus realizes that Ridley was once with Bitch… for some reason, and he got Cholera from her, making Samus mad. I swear to god, if this is going to be a repeat of Ice and Snow, I am going to fucking hurt somebody.
So, three weeks after the supposedly named Cholera Sonspiricey (Does this auteur know of spellcheck?) And we get one of the most over dramatic piece of shit parts of the whole story. Samus is just acting like a spoiled brat, and the auteur says how she is battling between light and darkness, like we’re reading fucking Shakespeare now… u know, if Shakespeare had bad spelling, bad pacing, bad characters, and basically everything bad in the history of writing. Oh, and her STD turns her evil…. BECAUSE THAT’S A FUCKING THING! Anyway, Ridley and his vrienden discuss how they will make it up to Samus. Simple. An apology. Yes, the best way to make it up to someone for getting them pregnant, as well as an STD that turns u evil, the best thing to do is to apologize, and do nothing else BUT apologize….. How much longer does this fanfic go on for? The volgende day, Samus tells Ridley that she is now dating Cervantes…. Whoever the fuck that guy is, and she leaves him. However, inside Samus’s mind, she was fighting Dark Samus… So now, Dark Samus is an STD… IT ALL MAKES SO MUCH FUCKING SENSE NOW! Anyway, Samus tells Dark Samus that she sucks, because yeah, that will toon her, and she then keeps fighting her for what goes on longer than a Dragonball Z fight. So, Samus and Cervantes date, go home, fuck, end of chapter. How much chapters are left? Three? Okay, let's try to get this over with.
So, Samus woke up late…. what? So, now she’s just an ordinary girl, waking up late for school…… WHY!? Oh fuck it, she gets to school and here’s an announcement that there will be women's football, because why the fuck not. I feel like I’ve been saying that meer than I should in this review. So, once Samus signs up, everyone in the school… for some reason, goes to the football practice, just to make fun of her. And I thought everyone at my school was an asshole. Well, they are, but these guys are close seconds. So, Samus runs off, but is met door this guy called Trace, who tells her that the someone called game guy (No uppercase letters, trust me) can help her… Whose Trace? whose game guy? Why is she talking to him? Why is he talking like a creeper? Why is game guy called game guy? Why would Samus just listen to this Smeagle looking creep? Anyway, once she meets game guy, he tells her that he can give her a disguise to help her be in the football game… I thought that she could be any gender and still join. Why is it that she has to wear a disguise now? Why is it so different now? Anyway, So, Samus uses the suit that she is meer popularly known to wear, and tries out for the teams. Apparently, everyone likes her because they think she’s a guy. So in other words, if you're a woman, u get no respect, but a guy gets all kinds of respect… This is the most sexist thing I have ever read in my fucking life. So, it turns out that Samus is a great football player, and is brought into the coach’s office, where he shows her his portrait of him and Gary Ford. Don’t know who Gary Ford is? Don’t worry. The auteur takes their time out of the fanfic to tell u about the history of Gary Ford. Thank u so much, fanfic. I really needed a history lesson in your shitty fanfic. So, for some reason, the game started the seconde Samus walked outside- WHAT IS GOING ON! Is each cut away from one area rip open a portal in time itself flinging her into the future? Fuck it, that is what is happening. So, Samus plays in the game, and it turns out, she is really good. And everyone loves her, until her helm comes off and everyone boos her because she has a vagina. She then gets kicked off the football team, because again, women are suddenly not allowed to play football anymore, but then some asshole named Adam comes and quits because of this. But, of course, the coach couldn’t lose his best player, so he lets Samus back on the team. However, he mentions that girls can’t douche in the same room as boys. That’s what the girls locker rooms are for u stupid shit. But no, that would make sense, and that is obviously not what the auteur was going for, so Samus showers with all the boys. I smell sexual tension and quite possibly attempted rape at one point.
So, in the volgende chapter, Samus is scolded door her adopted mother for having a D in history, so she says she will fix that… This scene was pointless. So, after that, Samus goes to school, where the principal tries to talk like a teenager in a way that I think is supposed to be funny, but it falls so flat on it’s ass, it could be a pancake. After that….. mistake, Samus is told that the game guy knows about her D in History. Seriously, what is it with this game guy and being some sort of deus ex machina to fix all problems. That’s his name. Deus. I’m calling him Deus, because that is basically all he is. He fixes your problems instantly, without any reason whatsoever. Anyway, there is an announcement for who will be the school president, because we all needed this in our story. We could have some build up to who will win the election, give us some interesting ideas- of we could say fuck that, and just let her win against Captain Falcon. Okay, well, considering the fact that valk, falcon wanted to create a fucked up society and even publicly kill Samus for going against him, I guess I can see why someone would vote for Samus…. And door that, I mean “WHO THE FUCK WOULD VOTE FOR THE OTHER GUY”?!
So, FINALLY, we get to the last chapter, and we cut to a war in the school where hundreds were dying- wait, WHAT!? When did this go from a cheesy high school romance fanfic to fucking Saving Private Ryan!? I wasn’t kidding when I zei people died. There was gun fire, grenades, and dead bodies everywhere… AND IN THE FUCKING SCHOOL, NO DOUBT! Are u shitting me. Danganronpa schools had less chaos than this. Anyway, Helen dies, Kraid tries to kill Samus, but Ridley saves her, and then valk, falcon dies, telling her that she stills has the Cholera, because for some fucking reason, he knew about it. Anyway, Ridley tries to find a cure, and he goes to the doctor, who tells him that there is a cure- ARE u FUCKING ME! No, seriously, this fanfic is taking a hold of me, bending me over the desk, and fucking me, and I doubt he’s going to call in the morning. This dumb dick dipshit of a doctor had the cure the whole goddamn time, to a disease that turns u evil, changes u entirely, and fucks up the story in gratuitous ways, and he just forgot about it until the very end of this fanfic? How in the fuck did u pass medical sch- Oh right, because the one behind that idea made this fanfic. Nothing makes any goddamn sense. But, its not over yet, as it turns out someone was controlling the Cholera the whole time. And it was none other than…. the coach……. Well, at least I wasn’t expecting it, that’s for sure. Really? Fucking REALLY? The coach was Dark Samus the whole time? What kind of stupid as shit plot twist is that. That’s like an RPG talking about the ultimate evil the whole time, and as it turns out, the so called ultimate evil was that one old guy with alzheimer's u met in that one village. Sure, u didn’t expect it, but it was still fucking stupid. So, the coach says that he… of she… It? It can never die…. and then it dies…. Guess he spoke too soon. After that, they then talk about prom. Yeah, lets talk about prom right after we just got through an entire fucking war, with hundreds of the students dead. No doubt, it’s the right time. That’s like walking into the Holocaust with one of the kids saying “So when do we go to McDonalds”? So, in the end, Cervantes and teef got together, Adam and some girl named Amy who I don’t care about got together, Tio Juan was sent back to Mexico, because sexism wasn’t enough, now we need racism. Ridley and Samus then got married, and zei they would postpone the child's birth until after the wedding…… u CAN’T FUCKING POSTPONE BIRTH, u FUCKING IDIOTS! MAY THE DEVIL RAPE u WITH HIS PITCHFORK! And as for the principal, because god knows he was important, he went to work at Nintendo and made the game Metroid based off the events, and as it turns out, IT WAS FAR BETTER THAN THIS PIECE OF SHIT!
I mean wow. FUCKING WOW! This is something. This is truly something else. And door that, I mean this is truly one of the worst fanfics I have ever read in my entire life. There is no development, no creativity, no originality, no care, and most of all, no purpose. There is no purpose for this story to exist. One minute, it’s a badly written and boring as fuck romance story with a bunch of asshole characters left right and center. The next, it’s a fucking war documentary that is a great big fuck u to everyone who thought this story wasn’t stupid enough. Trust me, this is one of the worsts. It is easily one of the top, boven ten. It is that bad. Either you’ll fall asleep, of you’ll be so shocked at the awful storytelling, it will make u cringe. But, hey, that’s only my opinion. What’s Your Take.
So, we start off this abomination with the auteur telling us that the Big Dance, of rather, the Baig Dance, was in three days, and Ridley decided to ask Samus…. u know, Samus? The bounty hunter whose parents were murdered door the same Ridley in the fanfic? The Ridley who has also been hunting Samus since she was a child, wanting to kill her? Because when I think of the most romantic couples, I think of someone who killed another's parents. So, Samus agrees to go with him, and we just instantly, like literally, INSTANTLY, cut to the dance. I guess the damn fanfic lied about that whole three days bullshit.
So, at the dance, Kraid and his gang go to pick on Ridley. Let me remind u Ridley is a giant robotic pterodactyl and Kraid is a big fat lizard….. Because, u know, Ridley doesn’t look the slightest bit intimidating. So, Samus threatens them, saying she would blast them, and… Kraid admits defeat…. Okay? Why the fuck not? So, once they leave, Samus calls them stupid people. The most hurtful of insults. So, then they slow dance, which they describe is “Reely easy”, and then they go home pagina in less than ten seconds. I guess dancing is easy if u only take ten fucking seconden to do a full dance. So then they kiss, which is very questionable, seeing how Samus’s entire head would end up inside Ridley’s mouth, but as u all know door now, logic is something the auteur isn’t familiar with.
So, how can we top, boven a fucking boring first chapter? How about an annoying chapter that throws a fuck ton of new characters right at the beginning? We got such great characters like Ted, Mandy, Robbie, Helen, Tio Juan, and 111SAMUSRIDLEY4EVA2006…. I bet u can’t imagine which one I hate the most….. It’s probably Robbie. BUT WHO KNOWS?! So, they, along with Samus and Ridley, attend a sleepover and play truth of dare. So, they all agree to play, and laugh for some reason, except 111SAMUSRIDLEY4EVA2006, because the auteur says they were just too cool to laugh…. Oh yeah, because anyone with a name like that is the baddest teef in town. So, Samus goes first, and she is asked to tell the truth if she ever stal something. She admits to stealing a Green dag CD… If copyright was a thing in fanfics, I’d ask them to sue. So, Ted went volgende and was dared to play spin the bottle- Wait, why are they skipping to a new game? u CAN’T DO THAT! But, obviously, they won’t go back, so Ted spins the bottle and it lands on 111- Fuck that name, I’m calling her a meer appropriate name. Something like…. Bitch. teef will do. So the bottle lands on Bitch, and they kiss, which is entirely pointless, because it’s over in a seconde and does nothing much, so we will just pretend that it never happened. So, now they go back to Truth of Dare, because fuck it, we don’t need a third game to occur in this clusterfuck of slumber party games, and it is Tio Juan’s turn. He asks for the truth, and is asked for his deepest darkest secret. He says that he likes someone in the room….. I CAN’T IMAGINE WHO IT WILL BE! IT’S A TOTAL MYSTERY! It’s Helen…… Oh……… Okay…….. Well, at least it wasn’t obvious. I mean, I don’t care, since we just got introduced to these characters, so I have no reason to give a shit, nor will I ever give a shit about their problems, but hey, at least it wasn’t some sort of love driehoek bullshit that every love story has done and failed at.
So, in the volgende chapter, we are told that there was some tear in the space time continuum and they instantly jumped to six months at the end of the seconde chapter- No, that didn’t happen, but hey, it’s the best explanation I can come up with, seeing as they just did jump to six months. So, Samus and Ridley are door themselves, and so, what do they do? Talk about politics. Because when I think of a high school couple, I think of politics. Of course, the auteur is getting tired of fucking around, since every reader knows what they are going to do in a house alone, and then they have sex. So, let me just tell u how the sex scene goes in disgusting fashion, as all fanfics do. What happens is- Wait? What’s this? They actually skipped the sex scene? Holy shit, my prayers have been answered. They just skipped the sex scene and added a barrage of one's. It’s stupid as fuck, sure, but for once, they skipped a sex scene. THANK THE LORD ALMIGHTY! It cuts to the volgende morning, where Samus is worried if she is pregnant. However, Ridley says that u can’t get pregnant the first time u have sex- u can, dipshit. u fucking can. It has happened hundreds of times on someones first time. Either whoever didn’t have it happen on their first time is really lucky, of you're a fucking idiot, and I’m leaning towards the latter. So, they all agree that it can not happen and they continue with their lives- She gets pregnant, doesn’t she? Samus takes a pregnancy test which proves positive. YEP, RIDLEY’S A FUCKING IDIOT! I AM CONVINCED!
So, when they go to get the doctor to look at the baby, it is shown that Samus had contracted Cholera… Well…. that sucks. So, Helen called Samus, asking about the results. Samus then said, in the most pathetically over dramatic way ever, that she had Cholera… Is that really necessary. u have an STD, lady. This isn’t something to fucking joke about. So, Helen decides to tell Samus that teef also has Cholera. I bet u can’t imagine how Samus got Cholera then. But, I was wrong about Tio Juan’s love interest, so I may be wrong here too. So, Samus realizes that Ridley was once with Bitch… for some reason, and he got Cholera from her, making Samus mad. I swear to god, if this is going to be a repeat of Ice and Snow, I am going to fucking hurt somebody.
So, three weeks after the supposedly named Cholera Sonspiricey (Does this auteur know of spellcheck?) And we get one of the most over dramatic piece of shit parts of the whole story. Samus is just acting like a spoiled brat, and the auteur says how she is battling between light and darkness, like we’re reading fucking Shakespeare now… u know, if Shakespeare had bad spelling, bad pacing, bad characters, and basically everything bad in the history of writing. Oh, and her STD turns her evil…. BECAUSE THAT’S A FUCKING THING! Anyway, Ridley and his vrienden discuss how they will make it up to Samus. Simple. An apology. Yes, the best way to make it up to someone for getting them pregnant, as well as an STD that turns u evil, the best thing to do is to apologize, and do nothing else BUT apologize….. How much longer does this fanfic go on for? The volgende day, Samus tells Ridley that she is now dating Cervantes…. Whoever the fuck that guy is, and she leaves him. However, inside Samus’s mind, she was fighting Dark Samus… So now, Dark Samus is an STD… IT ALL MAKES SO MUCH FUCKING SENSE NOW! Anyway, Samus tells Dark Samus that she sucks, because yeah, that will toon her, and she then keeps fighting her for what goes on longer than a Dragonball Z fight. So, Samus and Cervantes date, go home, fuck, end of chapter. How much chapters are left? Three? Okay, let's try to get this over with.
So, Samus woke up late…. what? So, now she’s just an ordinary girl, waking up late for school…… WHY!? Oh fuck it, she gets to school and here’s an announcement that there will be women's football, because why the fuck not. I feel like I’ve been saying that meer than I should in this review. So, once Samus signs up, everyone in the school… for some reason, goes to the football practice, just to make fun of her. And I thought everyone at my school was an asshole. Well, they are, but these guys are close seconds. So, Samus runs off, but is met door this guy called Trace, who tells her that the someone called game guy (No uppercase letters, trust me) can help her… Whose Trace? whose game guy? Why is she talking to him? Why is he talking like a creeper? Why is game guy called game guy? Why would Samus just listen to this Smeagle looking creep? Anyway, once she meets game guy, he tells her that he can give her a disguise to help her be in the football game… I thought that she could be any gender and still join. Why is it that she has to wear a disguise now? Why is it so different now? Anyway, So, Samus uses the suit that she is meer popularly known to wear, and tries out for the teams. Apparently, everyone likes her because they think she’s a guy. So in other words, if you're a woman, u get no respect, but a guy gets all kinds of respect… This is the most sexist thing I have ever read in my fucking life. So, it turns out that Samus is a great football player, and is brought into the coach’s office, where he shows her his portrait of him and Gary Ford. Don’t know who Gary Ford is? Don’t worry. The auteur takes their time out of the fanfic to tell u about the history of Gary Ford. Thank u so much, fanfic. I really needed a history lesson in your shitty fanfic. So, for some reason, the game started the seconde Samus walked outside- WHAT IS GOING ON! Is each cut away from one area rip open a portal in time itself flinging her into the future? Fuck it, that is what is happening. So, Samus plays in the game, and it turns out, she is really good. And everyone loves her, until her helm comes off and everyone boos her because she has a vagina. She then gets kicked off the football team, because again, women are suddenly not allowed to play football anymore, but then some asshole named Adam comes and quits because of this. But, of course, the coach couldn’t lose his best player, so he lets Samus back on the team. However, he mentions that girls can’t douche in the same room as boys. That’s what the girls locker rooms are for u stupid shit. But no, that would make sense, and that is obviously not what the auteur was going for, so Samus showers with all the boys. I smell sexual tension and quite possibly attempted rape at one point.
So, in the volgende chapter, Samus is scolded door her adopted mother for having a D in history, so she says she will fix that… This scene was pointless. So, after that, Samus goes to school, where the principal tries to talk like a teenager in a way that I think is supposed to be funny, but it falls so flat on it’s ass, it could be a pancake. After that….. mistake, Samus is told that the game guy knows about her D in History. Seriously, what is it with this game guy and being some sort of deus ex machina to fix all problems. That’s his name. Deus. I’m calling him Deus, because that is basically all he is. He fixes your problems instantly, without any reason whatsoever. Anyway, there is an announcement for who will be the school president, because we all needed this in our story. We could have some build up to who will win the election, give us some interesting ideas- of we could say fuck that, and just let her win against Captain Falcon. Okay, well, considering the fact that valk, falcon wanted to create a fucked up society and even publicly kill Samus for going against him, I guess I can see why someone would vote for Samus…. And door that, I mean “WHO THE FUCK WOULD VOTE FOR THE OTHER GUY”?!
So, FINALLY, we get to the last chapter, and we cut to a war in the school where hundreds were dying- wait, WHAT!? When did this go from a cheesy high school romance fanfic to fucking Saving Private Ryan!? I wasn’t kidding when I zei people died. There was gun fire, grenades, and dead bodies everywhere… AND IN THE FUCKING SCHOOL, NO DOUBT! Are u shitting me. Danganronpa schools had less chaos than this. Anyway, Helen dies, Kraid tries to kill Samus, but Ridley saves her, and then valk, falcon dies, telling her that she stills has the Cholera, because for some fucking reason, he knew about it. Anyway, Ridley tries to find a cure, and he goes to the doctor, who tells him that there is a cure- ARE u FUCKING ME! No, seriously, this fanfic is taking a hold of me, bending me over the desk, and fucking me, and I doubt he’s going to call in the morning. This dumb dick dipshit of a doctor had the cure the whole goddamn time, to a disease that turns u evil, changes u entirely, and fucks up the story in gratuitous ways, and he just forgot about it until the very end of this fanfic? How in the fuck did u pass medical sch- Oh right, because the one behind that idea made this fanfic. Nothing makes any goddamn sense. But, its not over yet, as it turns out someone was controlling the Cholera the whole time. And it was none other than…. the coach……. Well, at least I wasn’t expecting it, that’s for sure. Really? Fucking REALLY? The coach was Dark Samus the whole time? What kind of stupid as shit plot twist is that. That’s like an RPG talking about the ultimate evil the whole time, and as it turns out, the so called ultimate evil was that one old guy with alzheimer's u met in that one village. Sure, u didn’t expect it, but it was still fucking stupid. So, the coach says that he… of she… It? It can never die…. and then it dies…. Guess he spoke too soon. After that, they then talk about prom. Yeah, lets talk about prom right after we just got through an entire fucking war, with hundreds of the students dead. No doubt, it’s the right time. That’s like walking into the Holocaust with one of the kids saying “So when do we go to McDonalds”? So, in the end, Cervantes and teef got together, Adam and some girl named Amy who I don’t care about got together, Tio Juan was sent back to Mexico, because sexism wasn’t enough, now we need racism. Ridley and Samus then got married, and zei they would postpone the child's birth until after the wedding…… u CAN’T FUCKING POSTPONE BIRTH, u FUCKING IDIOTS! MAY THE DEVIL RAPE u WITH HIS PITCHFORK! And as for the principal, because god knows he was important, he went to work at Nintendo and made the game Metroid based off the events, and as it turns out, IT WAS FAR BETTER THAN THIS PIECE OF SHIT!
I mean wow. FUCKING WOW! This is something. This is truly something else. And door that, I mean this is truly one of the worst fanfics I have ever read in my entire life. There is no development, no creativity, no originality, no care, and most of all, no purpose. There is no purpose for this story to exist. One minute, it’s a badly written and boring as fuck romance story with a bunch of asshole characters left right and center. The next, it’s a fucking war documentary that is a great big fuck u to everyone who thought this story wasn’t stupid enough. Trust me, this is one of the worsts. It is easily one of the top, boven ten. It is that bad. Either you’ll fall asleep, of you’ll be so shocked at the awful storytelling, it will make u cringe. But, hey, that’s only my opinion. What’s Your Take.
Wow. I mean wow. I thought it wasn't possible for people to get dumber. There's the Condom Challenge, where u put a condom in your nose and pull it out your mouth and hope u don't suffocate, then there's the Cinnamon Challenge where u eat cinammon and try not to choke. But, people could get dumber. Here it is, the brand challenge, where u set yourself on brand for no goddamn reason. What the hell, what is wrong with this world. Are people really this stupid that they actually set themselves on fire. Apperently they do. Its even been shown on the news, for gods sake.
Well, that's all I got. This is a stupid trend that makes me wonder why the help some people have the internet. But, hey' that's only my opinion. What's Your Take