Wind: (Reads book)
Amanda: Hey, Wind
Wind: What do u want, Amanda
Amanda: I came to talk. u never got my text message
Wind: I don’t have a phone
Amanda: I could have sworn I bought u one
Wind: Well
(One Night Earlier)
Phone: u have reached the voicemail box of...
Wind’s Message: Fuck off
Phone: Please leave a message and call again later
Wind: (Places phone on and smashes it with a hammer)
(Present Time)
Wind: …… I misplaced it
Amanda: Well, since u lost it, I’ll just ask u myself
Wind: Ask me what?
Amanda: Would u like to go Mars Bucks
Wind: What is a Mars Bucks?
Amanda: It’s this nice little coffee koop downtown
Wind: Coffee? The school therapist says I’m not allowed coffee
Amanda: When did u start listening to the school therapist?
Wind: Good point
(Wind and Amanda walk into the coffee shop)
Wind: Oh… sweet jesus. What is this place (Sees the coffee koop is filled with hipsters and emos)
Amanda: These are called “consumers”, Wind. They are the typical demographic for these kinds of places
Wind: They look like a bunch of assholes
Amanda: That doesn’t really mean much coming from you. Now, just go and sit at a tafel, tabel while I get our coffee (Waits in a long line)
Wind: (Sits at a table)
(All of the hipsters and emos are using their APhones)
Wind: God… if u exist, kill me
Customer: Hey, check out this picture of a red butterfly. Isn’t he beautiful?
Feminist: (Scoffs) Why would u go and consider it a “he”? What makes u think it’s a boy?
Wind: (Taps foot impatiently)
Fanboy: Listen, I am serious u guys. We need to stop shaming all of us wonderful people who just want to hang out and have sex with horses? Is sex with horses too much to ask for?
Wind: (Drums fingers)
Photographers: My, this is a good latte…. (Sets it down and takes several pictures with it)
Wind: (Breathes heavily)
Emo Boy: I can’t escape the darkness that lies within my own soul….. Do u think that will be a good uithangbord post
Emo Girl: Oh, definitely
Wind: (Grinds teeth)
SJW: Why is the coffee cup white? Do they only care about white? Where are the black coffee cups? And why are the spoons straight? Are they implying that they only want straight customers? This place disgusts me. Okay, I’ll be back tomorrow
Wind: (Starts groaning loudly and rudely)
Amanda: Sorry about the wait. The customer was having an argument with the cashier for not reading about his multi-gendered original character
Wind: Amanda… I never believed in hell, until I came to this coffee shop. I want to get out and never see this place again
Amanda: Oh, it’s not that bad
Customer: (Laughs as he reads posts on the website Fumblr) OMG, LOL! Funniest thing I’ve seen all day. #Sofunny
Wind: ………… Amanda
Amanda: Yeah, just do it
Wind: Well, that made me feel a lot better
Amanda: I hope it did (They walk down the street, their backs to the burning coffee shop)
Amanda: Hey, Wind
Wind: What do u want, Amanda
Amanda: I came to talk. u never got my text message
Wind: I don’t have a phone
Amanda: I could have sworn I bought u one
Wind: Well
(One Night Earlier)
Phone: u have reached the voicemail box of...
Wind’s Message: Fuck off
Phone: Please leave a message and call again later
Wind: (Places phone on and smashes it with a hammer)
(Present Time)
Wind: …… I misplaced it
Amanda: Well, since u lost it, I’ll just ask u myself
Wind: Ask me what?
Amanda: Would u like to go Mars Bucks
Wind: What is a Mars Bucks?
Amanda: It’s this nice little coffee koop downtown
Wind: Coffee? The school therapist says I’m not allowed coffee
Amanda: When did u start listening to the school therapist?
Wind: Good point
(Wind and Amanda walk into the coffee shop)
Wind: Oh… sweet jesus. What is this place (Sees the coffee koop is filled with hipsters and emos)
Amanda: These are called “consumers”, Wind. They are the typical demographic for these kinds of places
Wind: They look like a bunch of assholes
Amanda: That doesn’t really mean much coming from you. Now, just go and sit at a tafel, tabel while I get our coffee (Waits in a long line)
Wind: (Sits at a table)
(All of the hipsters and emos are using their APhones)
Wind: God… if u exist, kill me
Customer: Hey, check out this picture of a red butterfly. Isn’t he beautiful?
Feminist: (Scoffs) Why would u go and consider it a “he”? What makes u think it’s a boy?
Wind: (Taps foot impatiently)
Fanboy: Listen, I am serious u guys. We need to stop shaming all of us wonderful people who just want to hang out and have sex with horses? Is sex with horses too much to ask for?
Wind: (Drums fingers)
Photographers: My, this is a good latte…. (Sets it down and takes several pictures with it)
Wind: (Breathes heavily)
Emo Boy: I can’t escape the darkness that lies within my own soul….. Do u think that will be a good uithangbord post
Emo Girl: Oh, definitely
Wind: (Grinds teeth)
SJW: Why is the coffee cup white? Do they only care about white? Where are the black coffee cups? And why are the spoons straight? Are they implying that they only want straight customers? This place disgusts me. Okay, I’ll be back tomorrow
Wind: (Starts groaning loudly and rudely)
Amanda: Sorry about the wait. The customer was having an argument with the cashier for not reading about his multi-gendered original character
Wind: Amanda… I never believed in hell, until I came to this coffee shop. I want to get out and never see this place again
Amanda: Oh, it’s not that bad
Customer: (Laughs as he reads posts on the website Fumblr) OMG, LOL! Funniest thing I’ve seen all day. #Sofunny
Wind: ………… Amanda
Amanda: Yeah, just do it
Wind: Well, that made me feel a lot better
Amanda: I hope it did (They walk down the street, their backs to the burning coffee shop)