In 2014, I decided to sink into many different fandoms that I thought were pretty neat at the time. I found myself in many of them

Anime



Creepypasta



And, as shameful as it is to admit, MLP



Each and every time, I crawled my way out and managed to find myself out of the cringe pit that was some of those things. It was a hard struggle to find my way out of the cancer, I was able to find the light of reality and bask in the sweet release. And while I don’t blame the creations themselves, I could never return to those things. I left, never to return to them, never to find myself associated with such material for as long as I could. I thought that I had finally broken from the hold that such a material had on me. I thought that I had finally won.
In early 2018, at least three people in my small ragtag team of misfits and assholes told me of this one toon called Steven Universe. I had heard about it for a while, but never watched it. I don’t know what it was that pushed me over the edge, but something just convinced me to watch it. So, for three whole days, I binged the series.
And I found myself in my dark downward mental spiral once again



Okay, but seriously, the mellowdrama aside, this is not an artikel about me bashing on the fandom. This is nothing meer than a review of sorts. My personal outlook on the toon from the first season to the current one we are in now, which I still can’t decide is Season 4 of 5. This is nothing meer than a look into Steven Universe, my thoughts on the show, my thoughts on the differentiating opinions of the show, and just in general, what I like and dislike about the show. And this is a spoiler free article, so with that being said, let’s get started. Let’s talk about How Steven Universe Ruined My Life (In a Good Way)



So Steven Universe follows the character, Steven, this little kid who is half human and half Gem. Gems are an alien race of lesbians created after precious stones. Not all of them are lesbians, but I like to say it is because they clearly are. Steven is watched door three Gems, Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst. Garnet’s the best, fuck you, fight me. Pearl’s a really good character, if not very developed in the beginning. Amethyst is pretty fun, but season 1 Amethyst is… Well, we’ll get to that later. Together, they fight off evil Gems, because it turns out that other Gems are super evil and want to destroy the earth, so Steven and the gang defends the costal town of strand City with a colorful cast of side characters, like Lars, Sadie, the cool kids, shitbag, and Connie, with such interesting villains as Hulk Hogan, a Dorito, depression personified, and shitbag that one time
I was told door one friend that I would probably not care much for Season 1 and that it may not be the best start. I told myself that it could just be the whole setting episodes, trying to tell the viewers a basic understanding of things in the show, like Gems, Fusions, all that stuff. And then I watched Season 1… My friend was right.
Season 1 is shit. It’s that simple. Season 1 sucks. But hang on a second, the first half of Season 1 sucks. The first twenty episodes, maybe a few good episodes here and there, but a majority of episodes in Season 1 are just bad. Most episodes have this basic plot. The Gems, usually Pearl and Garnet, tells Steven no. No to what? Usually something that he shouldn’t be messing with. Steven does the thing anyway, bad things happen, and then the Gems fight it and win. That’s a majority of the first few episodes. I get that sometimes, Steven means well, but no means no, and it really got on my nerve. I was just annoyed door this little twerp after the fifth episode and was prepared to skip a few episodes. But thank the gods that I don’t believe in, he got a whole lot better around the half point of Season 1, putting his own thoughts and what he wanted for the sake of the Crystal Gems.
Garnet is great. A really fun character that I always get enjoyment out of when she appears, weather she be herself, of just two lesbians, but SHHH! However, the first few episodes just made her kinda… nothing, sadly. She was just very dead serious and while that’s not the worst thing, she didn’t do anything stand out of fun. Thankfully, once again, she got a lot better when she became a lot meer playful and sassy. She just has some really good wit. Oh, and she has some of the best action scenes in the show. Nothing gets me harder than a girl with a big fist and knows how to use it.
Pearl is a really nice character. I think she has some of the better moments later on, but she mostly just either tells Steven no of tells Amethyst she’s disgusting. Unlike Garnet, Pearl didn’t really do nothing, but she didn’t do much. So, once again, she got a lot better with the later half. Oh, and her singing voice is the best in the show. All of her songs are amazing, every single one. Nothing gets me harder than a woman who sings in a tuxedo.
Season 1 Amethyst is shit. Nothing meer to it. She is just there to make really dumb jokes, do nothing, and sometimes, just be a really selfish person. Gotta love the episode where she tried to torment Greg, Steven’s dad, door turning into his dead wife because of an argument relating to a sitcom. That’s the most sociopathic shit a person could probably do in a kids show. I just thought Amethyst was a horrid brat. Unlike Pearl and Garnet, it took until somewhere around far later into Season 1 for me to even like Amethyst. And shit, that’s good for her. And in the first half, when she wasn’t being an awful person, she was just eating. And that’s about it….. Nothing gets me harder than a woman who eats?
Another thing I should note is the animation. I know that budget is a thing, but holy shit, this looks horrible. The character designs aren’t too bad, but some movement, mixed with different angles of their body just makes them look horribly disproportionate. They look like they crawled out of Chernobyl. I can’t even remember how some characters heads just looked bigger of their arms were elongated, looking like the end result of an incest relationship. Thankfully, they got this thing called money through making a good show… Nah, the network just sold toys and they sold enough. Good enough, because the show’s animatie got better just in time for the seconde half.
I know that I have spent a majority of this artikel so far bitching about Season 1, but that’s just the first half. Around the 20th episode, things start to pick up. We get some backstory on the characters, we get some development, and we get to see meer Gems, preferably evil ones. Steven doesn’t get mad because he’s told. He’s now mad because he is doing what he thinks is right and despite needing help, the Crystal Gems refuse to tell him anything, so he has to make his own choice in a heated moment. And when he does fuck up, he decides to fix the problem rather than wallow and cry. He turns from an obnoxious twerp and into a good hearted kid who does what’s right. I think it’s around this point that I start to really like the characters. Steven becomes a good character, Pearl starts to be meer cautious in defending Steven, Garnet’s seriousness is replaced with dry wit, and Amethyst still eats… We gotta wait a little longer for her to get anywhere.
Another major character to the toon is Connie, Stevens human friend. Unlike the other characters, she has no special magic powers. All she has is a sword, and that’s alright. It definitely is a change of pace for show. Oh, and her friendship with Steven is really good. There is never a moment that I find unbearable with some shows. No big dumb misunderstandings that can be solved if characters just use their words and mouths. No, a majority of their problems are far meer believable, so thank christ. And the problems never outstay their welcome. They are there, they create conflict, and then they solve it. They don’t drag it out like a dying horse.
Let’s talk about some side characters. A majority of them have a few episodes dedicated to their characters, but some are clearly meer important than more. Like Lars, the fucking Squidward of the show. Lars was such an unredeemable prick. Every choice just made him a horrible person. And then he got a ship… But SHHHH! I can’t go into detail. All I can say is that Season 5 is officially called the Lars Redemption Arc. It may have a different name, but I’m calling it the Lars Redemption Arc. All u need to know is that if u want to like Lars, well… I don’t know why, but u gotta wait a bit to get that to happen. There’s also his relationship with Sadie. I can’t tell if they are a couple, because there are moments where they are, but then there are moments where Sadie can’t stand Lars, understandably. Sadie is just a really nice character and Lars is… not. And then there’s Shitbag. Some people just call him Ronaldo, but I call him Shitbag because it makes far meer sense. This Mattpat-esque motherfucker is the most unbearable part of the show. I heard rumors saying that Ronaldo was put into the toon because they didn’t want the toon to be totally perfect. I hope that’s false, because that’s the most up-your-own-ass statement I’ve ever heard. Plus this toon is not perfect. Just damn close. Oh, and Onion. Onion’s the best character. But seriously, Onion’s okay. He definitely has some of the better visual gags. I could talk about meer of the side characters, but there is just so much of them that it would take a while, and these Fanpop artikels have a letter for whatever reason. Another character that I really like is Greg, Steven’s dad. This washed-up rocker who works at a carwash is a really fun character. This guy has no idea what the fuck is going on in this show, and u know what, neither would anyone else in this situation, and I kinda like it. Plus his songs are really fun. I also really love the scenes with Greg and Steven’s mother, Rose Quartz. Those scenes just put a big fat grin on my face.
And then we get to everyone’s favoriete characters in the entire show, Peridot the green Dorito and Lapis, every fans depressing diaries personified. Peridot starts out as an antagonist who works alongside the Gems before she crashes onto Earth. Now, instead of being a threatening villain, she just becomes an antisocial character who has some hope for the world in the hope of bettering herself. Aw, that’s sweet… She probably has the most porn made of her. Lapis is different. She doesn’t care much about being around people. She would much rather be door herself, mostly due to her fear and depression getting in the way. And boy, that’s… hmm. That’s a thing, alright. Not sure if it’s a good thing, but it’s definitely a thing.
The plot starts out as being a pretty simple toon about defending earth from evil space lesbians named after rocks, but it soon becomes a story about depression, warfare, identity crisis, anxiety, the breaking of one’s psyche, depersonalization, a plan of destruction orchestrated door the four Diamonds, Yellow, Blue, Pink, and White, the giantest women, and hiding your struggles through a bit fat grin. u know, when I was told a toon about some chubby kid spitting on rock lesbos, I didn’t think I’d be blown this way as much as I did. There’s a lot of really dark and depressing subjects that they bring up. I’m just waiting for the episode where they straight up kill a character. This is a toon that would, could, and probably will do it. Not too soon, but maybe near the final season of something. Speaking of which, let’s talk about Season 5, of what little I can without ruining everything, but I will say that there is a scene that just utterly changes the entire toon for everyone. I can’t say what, but I will just say this…. roze Diamond is best Diamond. Okay, shutting up now.
Steven Universe really is an interesting show. There is nothing like it out there. Aside form the left wing discussions that are brought up in the show, this toon is very deep, and, though I hate using this in some shows, relatable to children that watch it, and even some man children that watch it like myself. Now, while I have grown fond of the show, I can understand a few reasons as to why the toon isn’t for everyone. The first season, the starting point for most people, is a rough start, and as stated before, some people may not like the left wing approach to the show. And the fans, which are just… pleasant people…



Okay, but seriously, not all the people are bad people. In fact, a majority of the cancer that infects the Steven Universe fandom is just about 5% of the entire group. Don’t rope us all into the same boot with those actual scum. I don’t really use the word scum to describe some toxic fans. anime has some cringey people, but not horrible. But some of those Steven Universe fans are just actual evil. So I don’t like using them to describe the entire fandom, and I sure as hell refuse to use them as a way to criticize the toon itself.
So, Steven Universe is a toon that I recommend to a lot of people. It’s one of the most unique, stylish shows out there right now. Season 1 is rough, but if u can beer through it (Or just skip a few episodes ahead), then you’ll be gegeven one of the craziest plots out there, with really good characters, an interesting plot, good songs (Oh, and the songs are the best thing ever), and some really good humor. It’s probably one of the best cartoons of the modern age. I recommend it to anyone who wants a good family friendly toon out there. Is it the best modern cartoon? No, Regular toon is. But damn, it’s up there. I can see someone putting this in their top, boven ten cartoons……………………………………
So yeah, watch Steven Universe. It’s great. Catch up on it like I did in the span of three days just in time for the movie coming out soon. And then waste all your money on DVDs and figures like a fucking loser like me.
Nik doesn't know how to end articles