Okay, so, originally, again, I was gonna talk about a different movie, but instead, door chance, I happened to watch this movie instead and when I realized it too was a cult film, I decided to watch this… I’m bad at keeping with my already made list. But that’s beside the point. Let’s talk about true terror. The 90s. Bucket hats, Limp Bizkit, and a slew of horror films upsetting the public because of the dangers to kids of something. And one such film was the 90s time capsule itself, 1999’s Idle Hands. Was this a film that was a victim of circumstance of did it deserve it’s low critical score. Let’s find out.



Idle Hands follows Anton Tobias, a lazy stoner who lives with his parents and does nothing but get high and watch muziek videos… from the 90s! This movie even has The Offspring! How terrifying (Okay, I’ll stop now). However, due to… reasons, his hand becomes possessed door demonic spirits, killing his parents and his two friends, Mick and Pnub, yes, really, that’s his name. But his vrienden return as the undead and literally nothing changes. After he cuts his hand off, the hand goes on a killing spree in the town, and now Anton must kill the evil hand and get with the cute neighbor girl, Molly. Also something involving a lot of muziek videos with bands like Sublime and Rob Zombie, I don’t know. I know I say it a lot, but this movie is super 90s. There are things in this film that may have been fun at the time, but we just look at it now and go, “Yeah, that was a thing”. But does it hinder the movie at all? No, this films awesome.
Yeah, a film that I am really fond of despite it being quite possibly the dumbest film on Cultober thus far. Shouldn’t I hate on it because I only like subtle horror? Hell no. Sure, I love it when it’s meer subtle, but there are times when u just wanna watch a dumb film. I hate Crimson Peaks because it’s dumb yet takes itself seriously. I can respect Idle Hands for knowing it’s stupid and instead of trying to work around it, it has some fun with it. It’s knows it’s borderline retarded, and revels in it. The movie also doubles as a comedy, and I think it gets some jokes done right. Not a lot of the visual gags, but the dialogue between characters is a lot of fun to watch, at least I think so. It makes up for the fact that, in reality, most of these characters are horrible people. They are unapologetic with how shitty some of these people can be. Cops beating up kids, horny rockers running a truck through a funeral, and just an insane amount of sexual libido from a lot of these people. Everyone in this movie is so damn horny, I swear. I’m sure I could make up some shit about how it is symbolic of teen hormones, but… I don’t wanna.
Lastly, let’s talk about the Idol Hand itself, the slasher of this movie. I kinda want this killer to be among slasher villains like, at the least, Chucky and Hellraiser, but let’s be honest, this is something that will be seen alongside slasher villains like Gingerdead Man and The Evil Bong… Yeah, that’s real. But instead of being a wisecracking dickhead that says stupid slang and references, it is a silent killer, and is almost indestructible, surviving being severed from the host and being microwaved. Sure, it’s not gonna be the scariest thing ever, but I think the effects of the hand are pretty neat. Also, what other slasher villain do u know of that scalped Dexter Holland of The Offspring. Sure, that may not be an achievement, and no hate towards Dexter Holland, but when am I ever gonna say something like that ever again?
Idol Hands is dumb. Idol Hands is fucking dumb. But god, I love it so much. It’s so lame, so cheesy, yet it’s hilarious. It has it’s dumb moments, like this one thing in the ending that makes no sense. I’d go into meer detail, but spoilers and shit. But if u are looking for a really cheesy horror comedy with the right blend of both, give Idol Hands a watch.