Writing Article: Learning to let go ch. one

7

posted by Funnygirl77

Leting go of the ones u love is like falling out of an airplane with no para shoot

Leting go of the ones you love is like falling out of an airplane with no para shoot

Nothing is harder then losing the one u love. The One person who understands u the most, The one who give anything to keep u veilig and happy even if that means losing their own life to save yours. I learned this the hard way, When a jaar geleden today, I lost my parents, my brother and my sister, in a house fire.

May 19 2010 Monday 12:01 am
It's been a jaar since I lost my family, and it hasn't been any easier. I have nightmares about what happen, ever nightmare is the same. It starts off with me being with my family, Everyone is laughing and having a good time, then out of no where, there faces start to melt off It gets really hot and then I wake up. Of course I wasn't there, I was at my vrienden house, but I still fill responsible.

I sat up, then looked at the clock it was 12:12 I laid my head back down on my hoofdkussen, kussen and closed my eyes in no time I was back asleep, having that same dream over and over aging. I awoke with a headache My aunt knocked on the door. "Naomi, Honey, are u awake?" I got out of the bed and opened the door. Aunt Maggie stepped in side "are u okay sweetie?" I didn't answer I just stood there with my head down. Aunt Maggie stood there for awhile, then turned and left the room.

May 19 2010 Monday 7:00
There was a Knock on the front door, I went down stairs, it was Jane. She looked at me then shook her head. "Are u ever going to stop were that Damn hoodie?" I looked at her, then grabbed my bag and headed out the door. She followed behind me, I opened the car door took out my I-pod and turned it up. Jane stared the car, Then pulled over, I looked at her. "What are u doing?!" I asked.

"Naomi I love u and all but u got to stop fill sorry for yourself, there's nothing u can do, it wasn't your fault it's not like u caused the stupid fire." I looked at her, her words cut like Knifes, she looked back at me. I looked away, "Could u just drive." Jane unlocked the doors, "Get out." I looked at her "J-" she shook her head, "Get out"

I got out the car, and Jane drove away, I started to walk to school, but then had to stop because the tears wouldn't stop coming. Some one drove past me, then backed up, they rolled down the window. "Get in" he said, it was Alec the only emo kid at my school. I opened the door and go in. I still had my I-pod in and my tears had turned my eyes red. I could fill his eyes on me, so I kept my head down.

May 19 2010 8:01 am Monday
I went to my home pagina room class and, put my head down, Jane sat beside me. I see u made it to school, I turned away I couldn't let her see how much she hurt me. Jane just tsked at me, then turned to talk to other people. I could fill some ones eyes one me, so I looked up to see who it was, it was Alec, our eyes meet, and I felt something. I couldn't stop looking in to his blue eyes, and he didn't stop looking at me. The teacher came in and Alec turned to the front. I sighed and took my ear phones out.

The rest of the school dag went door quicker then I'm use too. The whole time in study hall and at lunch i could fill his eyes on me. I meet Jane door my locker, before the last period of the day, She looked at me. "Naomi, I'm sorry I was just Mad, u aren't the only one who lost some one u love lets not forget u aunt, and what about me, I was in love with your brother, do u know what his last words were too me?" I didn't answer her, "He told me he loved me."

The klok, bell rung, and I walked away, Jane walked beside me. "Look na na I zei I'm sorry." I looked at her, I nodded, "thanks Jane for what u said, but I'm just not ready to let go." Jane walked away, then turned around "well when u do let me know." She went in to her class, I started to walk to my class, Then out of no where the brand alarm rung. Everyone was run out of classes I stopped, I didn't know what to do.

There was shadows all around me, ever thing stared spinning. I sat down, The brand alarm kept getting louder and louder. Some one stood in front of me, They grabbed my shoulder and lifted me up. They crawled me like a baby, then we were out side, I looked up, and Alec was above me. His eyes locked on mine. I couldn't pull away, I got lost in his eyes aging filling that same filling I felt aging. that same strange filling, Alec helped me sit up.

Then I pulled away from under his hand, I didn't mean to come off ungrateful I just don't like when people touch me. Alec scooted away, to give me some air, when he thought i was okay, he came over to me to help me stand. Once the school was cleared, everyone went back in. Jane came rushing over to me, when she saw me. she gave me a hug, "Your okay, i didn't see u come out, so I thought." I pushed away from her, she stopped talking.

Then said, "You know,what Naomi. This is to much, I tried to stay being your friend, but I just can't handle your Behavior, your just to much." She walked away, I could fill his eyes on me I turned around Then looked away quickly.

May 19 2010 3:30 am Monday
Jane left with out me so I stared to walk, It would be 4:30 when I get home. It was about to rain so I put my hoddie on. Then it started to thunder so I took my phone out and was about to Call my aunt, but then Alec pulled up beside me. He opened the door I looked at him, being careful not to met his eyes. Then after a while I got in.

When I got home, I went up stairs and took a douche my aunt wasn't home pagina yet my phone rung, it was a text from Jane. Hope u made it home pagina okay, If u didn't I'm sorry, I need u to forget my number, don't call me don't text me don't send me and email, because like I zei before. I'm done with you. I put my phone down and knocked over my raiser blade I picked it up and pressed it to my risk.
May 19 2010 Monday 8:08
I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

sorry it was so long Hope u liked it commentaar and rate just to let yall know it's not real

Nice-Guy, Rennerocks and 5 others like this

SweetKittyNikki I like it!! u should rite more! :))

rose12345 I loved it!!! I agree with SweetKittyNikki you should write more. :D

NeeNee14 This is really good! Jane's a bitch..she lost her whole family...She only lost her brother and when she gets mad she uses it against her....she acts like she was the only one who suffered..at least her parents are still alive

Jamie38459 Wow, that was so far the longest article I have ever read....

SweetKittyNikki U didnt like it Jamie38459?

bri-marie [i]Nothing is harder then losing the one you love. The One person who understands you the most, The one who give anything to keep you safe and happy even if that means losing their own life to save yours. I learned this the hard way, When a year ago today, I lost my parents, my brother and my sister, in a house fire.[/i] This is a little confusing. You (she) goes from talking about loosing "one person" to talking about loosing her whole family (well, not literally her whole family. You know what I mean). Was she only close to one person in her family? [i]I didn't answer I just stood there with my head down. Aunt Maggie stood there for awhile, then turned and left the room.[/i] Aunt Maggie doesn't really seem to care about what Naomi is going through. [i]May 19 2010 Monday 7:00[/i] You've already told us what the date was. You don't have to [i]keep[/i] telling us; especially when it's only a few 'hours' after the last time. [i]it was Jane.[/i] And Jane is . . . ? [i]"Are you ever going to stop were that Damn hoodie?"[/i] What hoodie? What does it look like? Does she not wash it; is that why Jane is upset about it? [i]Jane stared the car, Then pulled over,[/i] When did they start driving? [i]"Naomi I love you and all but you got to stop fill sorry for yourself, there's nothing you can do, it wasn't your fault it's not like you caused the stupid fire."[/i] Were you going for making Jane the biggest bitch in history? [i]May 19 2010 8:01 am Monday[/i] Yes, we know. You told us this three paragraphs ago. Why don't you just not put in the date? You don't even really need the time, since only an 'hour' or so passes until you tell us again. [i]I felt something.[/i] Butterflies? Her stomach somersaulting? Hiccups? Nausea? Hunger? What? [i]The rest of the school day went by quicker then I'm use too.[/i] How/in what way? [i]The whole time in study hall and at lunch i could fill his eyes on me.[/i] I'm assuming that she and Alec are friends? Other wise, why would she accept a ride from him and not be creeped out by him staring constantly? [i]do you know what his last words were too me?" I didn't answer her, "He told me he loved me."[/i] She makes it seem like a bad thing. If that isn't what you were going for (or maybe it is, since Jane is nasty) it really needs re-wording. [i]"Look na na[/i] 'Na na' is a very odd nickname for 'Naomi.' It reminds me of what I used to call my great-grandmother, which probably isn't the visual you want for your teenage protagonist. Did it spring up from some private joke between the two of them or does everyone call her 'na na'? Why is this the only time in the entire chapter that it's used? [i]I stopped, I didn't know what to do.[/i] Is she stupid? Schools all over have fire-drills at an alarming rate (my high school has about eleven throughout the entire year). Plus, common sense would tell her to follow everyone out of the building. She can't smell smoke, feel heat, or see the fire so there really isn't a reason for her to freeze up like this. On a side-note, there really isn't a reason for students to be running around without teachers supervising. It's [i]why[/i] they have fire-drills - so the students and teachers know what to do when the fire-alarm goes off unplanned (or there's a legitimate fire). [i]There was shadows all around me, ever thing stared spinning. I sat down,[/i] Why? [i]I got lost in his eyes aging filling that same filling I felt aging. that same strange filling, Alec helped me sit up.[/i] What? I have no idea what you're (she's) trying to say here. [i]I just don't like when people touch me.[/i] She didn't seem to care when he picked her up and carried her away. [i]May 19 2010 3:30 am Monday[/i] Still not needed. [i]I put my hoddie on.[/i] She was wearing it when Jane picked her up that morning. When did she take it off? Unless you meant she put the hood up? [i]my aunt wasn't home yet[/i] Then why was she going to call her? [i]Hope you made it home okay, If you didn't I'm sorry, I need you to forget my number, don't call me don't text me don't send me and email, because like I said before. I'm done with you.[/i] Jane is bipolar. . [i]May 19 2010 Monday 8:08[/i] Still not needed. [i]I closed my eyes and fell asleep.[/i] Standing up in the bathroom? Over all, it's very confusing. You're seriously lacking in the spelling, sentence patterns and punctuation and, in many cases, it becomes hard to decipher what you're trying to say. You have almost no descriptions of anything. What do Jane, Alec, Aunt Maggie, and Naomi look like? What does the school look/sound/feel like? Telling us the date and time doesn't really serve a purpose. Nothing major is happening and there only hours apart. I'm not sure whether or not you meant to make Jane to be a bipolar bitch or not. She doesn't seem to know what she thinks about Naomi, nor does she seem to care that her parents were killed. The fact that she isn't even trying to help Naomi or sympathize with her tells the readers that she isn't a very good friend. Alec seems creepy; he only says two words this entire chapter, but he's always around to give Naomi a ride and stare at her (which, it's weird that Naomi doesn't seem to think anything of Alec, whom she hardly has any contact with, is doing this). It also seems to cliché that, for no reason, Naomi is having “feelings” about Alec for no reason. I think you have a good idea, but it just needs a lot of work.

Getting door Ch. 18

posted by para-scence

"Shelby? Are u ok? Kirsten zei you've been acting weird lately..." Paige said, coming into my room. I laid back on my bed, closing my eyes so she couldn't see them.

"I'm fine," I sighed. "Just leave me alone." There was a long silence.

"...Has school gotten better?" I nodded, meer than necessary. "Make any new friends?"

"Yep..." I said, opening my eyes. I stared at the ceiling, then closed them again and sighed. A brand started to burn in my chest. Why couldn't she just leave me alone? She was nosy and bossy.

"Have u done your chores yet?"

"No!" I whined. I pushed my palms against my eyes,...

Getting door Ch. 17

posted by para-scence

"I think it's working," Carissa smiled at me. I sat between her and Rigby on the bench. Already, I felt great. My hart-, hart was racing, and I almost couldn't sit still. After a few moments though, my eyes started to hurt. "They're just dilating," Carissa told me. "Here." She took off her sunglasses and handed them to me. I noticed her eyes seemed sunken in, and there were gray circles underneath her eyes. She blew her cigarette smoke in my direction.

"Thanks," I zei energetically. My mind was racing, I could barely spit out the words.

"Just don't tell anyone," Jordan zei on the other side of...

A Little Too Curious (part 6)

posted by noahnstar1616

Cameron faced me. "Huh?"

"I said", my eyes focused on Mercury. "Could u give us some privacy?"

"I could, but I don't want to."

I scowled.

"It's fine Mercury, I'll see u later." Cameron kissed her on the cheek.

The sight stung the back of my eyeballs.

She smiled at him, glared at me, and left.

Cameron faced me again. "Now what did u want?"

"I want to know why the hell you're tongue was in that..bitch's mouth", I yelled. I had never used profanity before, but it felt good.

"Because she's my girlfriend."

"No, I'm your girlfriend!"

"Correction, u were my girlfriend."

" 'Were'? What do u mean 'were'?...

1

Stare [short story]

posted by RiverIce

I sit there in my seat
when the teacher sees me
I stare at her
"do your work,"
she says.
I look at her with anger
I look at my math page
The problems stare at me
the klok, bell rings
"Ahhh!" I yell in anger.
people stare at me
I stare at them back.
they run out of the class room
I sit there until the teacher finally sees me.
"you may be dismissed," she says.
I still sit there.
"go," she says.
I stare at her.
She stares at me.
We stare.
"go... don't make me send u to detention,"
I stare at her
she looks at me.
"Ok, u asked for it, Richard, Detention,"
I get up.
Still staring.
I leave and walk to the office.
I stare at the...

We Were Dared [slash]

posted by Insight357

“Hey, bitches!” Espen laughed throwing open the door. His blonde hair fell into his eyes. “Come on in,” he stepped aside and let us all pass. One door one, we all trailed into the crowded, alcohol smelling living room.
Music was softly playing behind everyone’s chatter. Boys and girls danced with and groped one another. In a corner, some students I recognized sat in a group smoking. A few boys stood in the kitchen, cups of liquor in their hands.
“Tatum, Nia, and I are going with Shayde and Lear to pick a game, u coming?” Celeste asked...

THE Exiled; prologue

posted by nick_cross

The Exiled
Story setting:
Era: future
Character setting: witch and wizards, vampires, werewolves, phoenix man, humans
Setting: earth, United States
World setting: future, world war??, nations combine to make 3 empires: wizard empire, empire of man, world empire.
PROLOGUE:
For centuries we lived harmoniously; we had two different worlds. Two very different worlds. Their world was lived freely and without secrecy. In our world, that’s what it was all about, secrecy. Don’t make too much noise, don’t seem so noticeable, and most important, under no circumstances, don’t ever get caught. For a while...

Abandoned chapter 2

posted by Seastar4374

I don't know what to think of waking up practicially every uur except for this: 'Why the hell does this happen?!' I was seariously exhausted and I hardly slept. Apperiently the twins are hourly alarm clocks of something because thats what it feels like. Once they fell asleep once again I got my chance. I layed down on the divan, bank and yawned. I only had 12 hours of sleep,oh an hourly basis one uur per every two. I finally fell asleep yet again. They were quiet for two hours this time up until the boy started crying. I groaned and stood up exuhausted. I walk to him. "Whtas wrong baby? Huh?"...

1

My Crazy Bounty Hunter Life

posted by tigerseye43

I got up to the sound of glass crashing to the floor. I ran to my little keuken-, keuken to see a man in a black ski mask and overalls standing in my kitchen. I ran at him to throw a stempel, punch of two but when I extended my arm to hit him, he grabbed my arm and stabbed my with a knife.As the mes cut through my skin I screamed in pain, with a few cuss words to go along with it. Then as I fell to the floor in pain, the thief ran out my door and fled from my house. What was going on, I thought. Why was that man in my house. Then I looked around to see what he had broken. When I saw what he had broken, I...

1

Dear Alex...

posted by WildCherryWolf

Dear u Know Who u Are,

Love is a deep feeling, and what I felt for u was never love. It was...... I'm not sure, but not love. Love is deep. This only scratched the surface.

Your long blonde hair made u irresistible. Your ice blue eyes were enchanting, made me feel like I was walking on heaven. Your pale skin made me feel like I was in fake love with a monster, though. My vrienden teased me and u because of it.

Those arguments we had over the phone, I wish I could've spat the words at you. It would've been meer satisfying. Seeing your reaction. Hearing u overreact to everything.

You...

2

Smothered-Prologue

posted by dawnisbeauty

Prologue
Randall regarded her with pride.His finest.Her skin was ebony-black,her eyes a sinister grey,hair pale,wintry white.She stared at him blankly,her tall,slender frame tense.Randall stroked her cheek and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ears.Lethal,she was.Designed to perfection for the task she was set.Despite the obvious arrogance in her gaze,he deemed her the best."Tell me,who are you?"he tested."Layla"she answered."And I?".
"Master."she said."Tell me,"he asked her,taking her large,clawed hands."how do u use these..assets?"."To serve Master."Randall smiled."Good'he said."Very Good indeed.""How do u do that,my lovely?"he purred.Her eys stared straight ahead."Kill"she whispered."Kill for Master"

2

Short story

posted by liissaaxx

I can’t even remember why I chose to marry you!” She yelled. Her beautiful face filled with anger, those sparkling brown eyes that I have loved since dag one, bore into me with no affection. She had zei them, the words I never wanted to hear.
The fight had been going on for an uur now and I started to yell back, I could no longer control myself. Our first real fight in five years. I knew she would be over it soon and that big bright smile will light up her face, but I was overwhelmed too. I was hurt. But I stopped myself.
There were no lights on in our house; the outside light had faded...

1

Faceless Angel

posted by WildCherryWolf

I was the only one in this world, this blank space. It was obviously a dream, no other place would only contain a 13 jaar old girl with an overactive imagination. I heard small cries, and I wondered if I truly was the only thing on this world. Then, I ran.

I ran the lengths and widths of the blank world, and kept running until I found a rock. A small, grey rock. Colorless. What was a little kore interesting was the figure on top, boven of the rocks. She had black hair, as black as a rook's wing, and it made a curtain around her face. She wore grey, a simple grey dress. On her feet were rags. But her...

4

BAD MEMORIES (POEM)

posted by r260897

Memories and grief of my heart
Are still buried somewhere
I can’t cry neither I can freely laugh
What if they don’t know my past
I have not forget it yet
I still remember the same Zean with the same Zeal
But not in flashes neither in cars
In backstage of life with trembling hunger
Hunger in eyes and lips dry
No money in pocket but Zeal on shoulder
With memories of ‘Love’ and burning heart
Now my clothes are branded
And my shoes are best, pocket heavy with dollars
But with this all my hart-, hart is all heavy
With secrets of past
Pleasures can bury them but cannot vanish
I still look vooruit, voorwaarts to death
When all my secrets will disappear, my pain will end
Also with my life..end will come to my BAD MEMORIES. 

3

A Short story

posted by coolie

“Pump! Pump!” went my pounding hart-, hart as I trembled across the deserted hallway of school. As I looked around in this hall of nothingness, I realized that I was the fist person here. However, I had the feeling that I was being watched, and followed. It was not a good feeling
I didn’t mind getting to school early because I always liked watching the other kids scatter out on the playground one door one, and watching them kom bij different games. I was too afraid to play the games that the other boys played. Football and their aggressive chasing games just seemed dangerous, and I couldn’t stand...

Modern dag Princess Ch. 16

posted by para-scence

"No! I don't want to go!" I shrieked. My whole world was crumbling down. This couldn't be happening. I found a place where I was loved and accepted, and now I was being kicked out?

What would happen when I got home? Mother and Father would either neglect me meer than ever, of beat me to death for "jeopardizing the family name" door running away. The thought was stupid, but I'm pretty sure that's what would happen.

"Cosette, you've been so depressed ever since Asteria left," Grandma said. "You need to go home. It's what's best for you."

"No, it's not!" I shouted. Tears were pouring down my cheeks....

Modern dag Princess Ch. 15

posted by para-scence

"...So there's no way you're taking Cosette home pagina if she doesn't want to!" Echo shouted across the kitchen. She's been ranting for about ten minuten straight. It even frightened me. Asteria seemed surprised, but calm. That scared me too. Was she so certain I was coming home pagina no matter what? Echo paused for a couple moments, trying to regain her breath. She looked at me. "You... aren't leaving, are you?" I looked at Asteria, and sighed.

"No," I zei firmly. Asteria's eyes saddened a little bit.

"Please?" she whispered. My hart-, hart ached at her sadness. I was stuck between her, and my life here. But...

2

The Edge of Mental Health

posted by sawfan13

To travel the roads less traveled by, to travel in the paths of The Great Electric Poet, as the lizards kiss your feet, rainbows giving u rides on their magnificent layers of light and color, to love everything, and trip out on every paddestoel on the ground. I would love that to be my life, Alice in Wonderland stoner version style. Alas, as an insane creature on God's most gorgeous green Earth, society and the laws my freedom. Yet, I do manage to find a way to release myself from these chains. For I am Kira Lucille Way, and I'm on the edge of mental health.

It's the jaar 1966. A year...

1

You'll Thank Me Later

posted by para-scence

This is a dream I had. Just wanted to get it out of my head. XP

The three of us laughed; my vrienden and I. It was a fun Friday night, with the parents home, and sister sleeping over at a friend's house. Lydia and Alli were over, just having a good time. We sat in the family room, with only those room lights on, and the TV on.

Then from outside, there was a strange sound. We all froze.

"What was that...?" Lydia asked. Neither Alli of me spoke. We were all frozen in fear.

"Come with me, u guys," I said, standing up slowly. We slowly went into the kitchen, and then the living room, looking out...

1

A choice I may of may not regret

posted by Hades223

CHAPTER 1

Jason Card sat on his troon in the Vampire Council room. The room rested in a paculiar place. The center of an undersea volcano. Magic kept the lave back. It formed a dome over the room except for a tunnel the leads out and up onto an island in the middle of the Atlantic. Vampires, being the most cold skinned creatires on earth didn't feel a percentage of the heat.
Jason was a tall and skinny man, with black hair and green eyes. He wore a black t-shirt with blue jeans and a kruis necklace. Vampires could change there age at will and he took the form of a twenty jaar old man.
Jason...

1

Fight Like A Girl

posted by para-scence

Inspired door the titel from Emilie Autumn's upcoming album, "Fight Like A Girl." ;)

link

She was an innocent little girl, and that was their first mistake. That first thought.

"This is going to be easy," they'd thought. Yet, another mistake. The two men descended down the sidewalk casually, coming in her direction. She crossed the road, and walked on the other side. They two men stopped. She was smart...

They walked a little meer on the sidewalk, then crossed the road, now walking behind her. They made sure their footsteps weren't heard on the near empty street.

She began walking faster, feeling...