Random Article: 10 Anti Jokes

7

posted by -SkySplitter-

Disclaimer: I didn't make any of these. Credit goes to their original creators.

1. Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

A. Get in the car

2. A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink.

"Long day?" the bartender asks.

"No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.

3. Q. What does an Eagle and a mol have in common?

A. They both live underground. Apart from the Eagle.

4. A eend walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The eend doesn't say anything because its a duck.

5. Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

A. Wheres my tractor?

6. A: Knock knock!

B: Come in.

7. Knock Knock
Who's there?
The police, your entire family died in a car accident.

8. Have u seen Stevie Wonder's new house?

No.

Well, it's really nice.

9. Ask me if I'm a tree.

Are u a tree?

No.

10. What do u call a man with no arms of legs on the doorstep?

Whatever his name happens to be.
_____________________________________________
And that's all for now.

ESTME, izfankirby and 5 others like this

Bvb_Sws_TH_BMTH lol, so using these

BlindBandit92 XD

Zeppie I remember when joke number 5 was all the rage back in my primary school....there wasn't a day where you didn't hear that joke xD

jessy_an Hahaha that's really very funny XD

x-Yumi-x3 😂

3

Flattery

added by TwilighterSabby

Source: http://icanhascheezburger.com/page/2/

2

Wrecking Ball Lyrics

posted by nmdis

WRECKING BALL
We clawed, we chained, our hearts in vain
We jumped, never asking why
We kissed, I fell under your spell
A love no one could deny

[Pre-Hook]
Don’t u ever say I just walked away
I will always want u
I can’t live a lie, running for my life
I will always want u

[Hook 1]
I came in like a wrecking ball
I never hit so hard in love
All I wanted was to break your walls
All u ever did was break me
Yeah, u wreck me

[Verse 2]
I put u high up in the sky
And now, you’re not coming down
It slowly turned, u let me burn
And now, we’re ashes on the ground

[Pre-Hook & Hook...

6

top, boven 10 dumbest things ever zei to me

posted by Seanthehedgehog

Over the years we will run into people that are complete imbecules. Sometimes they say completely stupid things, and act like they're smart. This is the 10 most dumbest things people have ever zei to me

10. "If u keep telling me about your stories I won't read them."

This was geplaatst on my fanpop uithangbord door Pinkmare. She wanted to know about my latest fanfics, and I decided to post on her uithangbord letting her know what I was up to. She thought I was rushing her, even though I just told her about the story. I didn't even say "Read this immediately."

9. "Do u want some beer?"

I was walking down the...

3

Marilyn Monroe Quotes

posted by purplefreak855

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“This life is what u make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is u get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your vrienden - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with u through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best vrienden in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll...

10

20 Dumbest struik, struik, bush Quotes

posted by joe-kerr

hallo everyone.
I'm back with another list. And this time, I do know who to credit. All these quotes are from George W. Bush. For real. I found them online on various media sites. The ranking, however, is my own.

20    "They misunderestimated me."
     —Bentonville, Arkansas; November 6, 2000

19    "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter."
     —In parting words to world leaders at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as those present looked on in shock, Rusutsu, Japan,...

6

101 ways to annoy people

posted by bizeshnakarki

I got it somewhere n thought i should share it.

101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with vrienden in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If u have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours door hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all...

2

eminem songs

posted by mehere

top, boven 24 eminem song (random order)

who knew

rock bottom

words are weapons

lighters

criminal

kill you

never 2 far

like toy solidiers

white america

cleanin' out my closet

my name is

till i collapse

when im gone

sing for the moment

the real slim shady

just dont give a fuck

lose yourself

the way i am

mockingbird

infinite

stan

not afraid

without me

just lose it

i hope u like this one better than the first one please leave a commentaar if u like od dont like it i want to hear your thoughts :P

2

The Evil Teddy bear: Teddy bier reveals to be Evil

posted by darktheheghog

previously on The Evil Teddy Bear: Tina saw a Cute looking Teddy beer and picked up from the self but when she put on the counter to buy it the sales man straight away took it off of the counter and zei it wasnt for sale but then Jenni had an awesome idea and managed to get the Teddy beer the sales man gave the girls the Teddy beer for free but after they left and while they were walking the Teddy beer evil chuckled and its eyes turned red...

Tina unlocked the door to their house (forgot to mention that their also sisters)and they all walked in Peter put the Teddy beer ontop of the book case...

6

10 Amazing Facts about Love

posted by wakana

1. People are meer likely to tilt their heads to the right when kissing instead of the left (65 percent of people go to the right!).

2.The oldest known love song was written 4,000 years geleden and comes from an area between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers.

3.One in five long-term love relationships began with one of both partners being involved with others.

4.Falling in love can induce a calming effect on the body and mind and raises levels of nerve growth factor for about a year, which helps to restore the nervous system and improves the lover’s memory.

5.Love can also exert the same stress on...

6

My Current top, boven 11 Female 'Celebrities'.

posted by EmzLovesCheryl

Cheryl Cole and Nicola Roberts.

Not that anyone's interested, but here are my current top, boven 11 female 'celebrities'.

1. Cheryl Cole. (yeah, I didn't think you'd be surprised.)
-Words just can't describe how much I love this woman. If I try to then I'll take up this entire article.

2. Amy Lee.
- She has the most stunning voice, and she's absolutely beautiful; Evanescence wouldn't have ever been Evanescence without her. She's amazing.

3. Avril Lavigne.
- I'm a big fan of her music. She's cool, she's cute, and with all this, she has amazing hair. :3

4. Hayley Williams.
- She also has amazing hair, like all the people on this lijst actually....

5

Online Dating

posted by TruBerries

**Before I begin, I would like to say that I'm writing this out of experience so y'all don't be thinking that I'm guessing, putting other people down who did of are doing this, of that I'm being absolutely rude about it, which I'm not.**

In everyone's life, we all want someone that we want to have, hold, and love and never having that feeling of ever being alone for the rest of our lives. We all know that it takes time and patience, but the thing about it is that there's people out there that jump head first into generating a relationship out of thin air with someone he/she has just met online....

4

21 Funny Quotes =P

posted by Bella_Dhampir

1. "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."

2. "If Barbie is so popular, why do u have to buy her friends?"

3. "People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world," (Calvin - Calvin and Hobbes)

4. "There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable diseases and his mother's age. " (Benjamin Spock)

5. "Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman." (Kathy Lette)

6. ""Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!" (Homer Simspon)...

1

Emo poems

posted by invadercalliope

Hello i'm InvaderCalliope!
Emo Poems:
Poem number 1:
My tears are a sign of my fears,I've been drowning all these years.
I have to break out from this pain,Have to free me from this chain.
My hart-, hart is filling up inside,I cannot run,I cannot hide.
Hate is filling up my mind,Its love i cannot find.
Poem number 2:
My vrienden call me emo.
My mom makes jokes.
My sisters are worried.
I'm not emo i say.
Stop making jokes.
They're not very funny.
No need to worry.
I promise i'll tell.
The End

5

Billboards top, boven 100 Songs of 2010

posted by lexie2635

1-TIK TOK-Ke$ha
2-NEED u NOW-Lady Antebellum
3-HEY, SOUL SISTER-Train
4-CALIFORNIA GURLS-Katy Perry Featuring Snoop Dogg
5-OMG-Usher Featuring will.i.am
6-AIRPLANES-B.o.B Featuring Hayley Williams
7-LOVE THE WAY u LIE-Eminem Featuring Rihanna
8-BAD ROMANCE-Lady Gaga
9-DYNAMITE-Taio Cruz
10-BREAK YOUR HEART-Taio Cruz Featuring Ludacris
11-NOTHIN' ON YOU-B.o.B Featuring Bruno Mars
12-I LIKE IT-Enrique Iglesias Featuring Pitbull
13-BEDROCK-Young Money Featuring Lloyd
14-IN MY HEAD-Jason Derulo
15-RUDE BOY-Rihanna
16-TELEPHONE-Lady Gaga Featuring Beyonce
17-TEENAGE DREAM-Katy Perry
18-JUST THE WAY u ARE-Bruno...

5

Billy Connolly's 14 things i hate about people

posted by SarBear1579

NOTE EVERYONE I DID NOT MAKE THIS!!

* People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

* People who are willing to get off their arse to zoek the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

* When people say "Oh u just want to have your cake and eat it too". F*cking right! What good is a cake if u can't eat it?

* When people say "it's always the last place u look". Of course it is. Why the f*ck would u keep...

16

meer blonde jokes

posted by karpach_13

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can u tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The bedieningshendel, joystick is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her meer attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do u say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are u boys all in the same band?
A3: Do u guys all play for the Green baai, bay Packers?

Q: How do u make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde...

23

I LOVE u IN DIFFERENT LANGUAGES

posted by scarlet009

1. Afrikaan -- Ek is lief vir jou!

2. Albanian -- Te dua!

3 .Amharic -- Afekrishalehou!

4. Arabic -- Ohiboke( male to female )

Nohiboka ( female to male )

5. Armenian -- Yes kez si'rumem!

6. Basque -- Maite zaitut!

7. Bengali -- Ami tomake bahlobashi!

8. Bosnian -- Volim te!

9. Bulgarian -- Obicham te!

10. Catalan -- T'estimo!

11. Creole -- Mi aime jou!

12. Croatian -- Volim te!

13. Czech -- Miluji tev!

14. Danish --Jeg elsker dig!

15. Dutch -- Ik hou busje, van je!

16. English -- I love you!

17. Esperanto -- Mi amas vin!

18. Estonian -- Mina armastan sind!

19. Farsi -- Tora dost daram!

20. Filipino -- Iniibig kita!...

1

First Two chapters of my Law & Order: Criminal Intent fanfic scrambled

posted by Jeffersonian

My partner, Robert Goren, and his leg is that he does that moment, because the volgende thing I need a abandoned warehouse.
Eames, help me turn over the head and everything goes black.
My partner, Robert Goren, and slip into a warm water feels good, and begins to my house.
I blink twice before I get a better look at where have I just happen to my house.
I know, somebody hits me over the head He's got a shower.
I get lonely.
I get lonely.
I want to the crime scene.
The body of grey sweatpants, and over.
I need a tad bit too much.
I can't believe I just zei that, I unlock the same apartment building...

nytimes

posted by pikachu00

Crossword puzzles are drawn puzzles that are usually in the shape of a square of rectangle. The puzzle is filled with black and white squares. The goal of a crossword puzzle is to fill the white boxes with the antwoorden to a series of questions. Most crosswords include numbers in the white squares so the player can match each vraag with a specific answer location. The shaded squares are used to separate the answers. The antwoorden that go into the white boxes are written across and down, with separate clues for each direction. The antwoorden will interlock with one another, so correctly answering...

1

the corona virus song

posted by pinkbloom

I will always remember
The summer of covid 19
Yeah, it ruined my whole year
And it just went like this,
No it's never been worse than summer
Of covid19
We were only 11,
But acting like doctors
like we aren't in present.
Drinking from plastic cups,
singing this is forever and ever,
well I guess that was true.

Dancing in my home
in the middle of the night.
Listening to our muziek and jams
partying in our little bed
and it went like this,
OoPs I got coronavirus, I'm gonna die die die,
HOLD UP

Now we're under covers
Fast vooruit, voorwaarts to 18, me and my bed are meer than lovers.
Yeah my bed's what I need when we are holding...