Random Article: 10 Anti Jokes

7

posted by -SkySplitter-

Disclaimer: I didn't make any of these. Credit goes to their original creators.

1. Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

A. Get in the car

2. A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink.

"Long day?" the bartender asks.

"No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.

3. Q. What does an Eagle and a mol have in common?

A. They both live underground. Apart from the Eagle.

4. A eend walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The eend doesn't say anything because its a duck.

5. Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

A. Wheres my tractor?

6. A: Knock knock!

B: Come in.

7. Knock Knock
Who's there?
The police, your entire family died in a car accident.

8. Have u seen Stevie Wonder's new house?

No.

Well, it's really nice.

9. Ask me if I'm a tree.

Are u a tree?

No.

10. What do u call a man with no arms of legs on the doorstep?

Whatever his name happens to be.
_____________________________________________
And that's all for now.

ESTME, izfankirby and 5 others like this

Bvb_Sws_TH_BMTH lol, so using these

BlindBandit92 XD

Zeppie I remember when joke number 5 was all the rage back in my primary school....there wasn't a day where you didn't hear that joke xD

jessy_an Hahaha that's really very funny XD

x-Yumi-x3 😂

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Random Gif.

added by NoMoreGas

Source: My Gallery (Originally found across Tumblr)

2

The real police academy

added by x-menobsessed26

Gerhard Mayer`s Art

added by myau

Source: Gerhard Mayer

5

;D

added by r-pattz

Source: tumblr

2

Random people

added by shiriny

2

Random

added by BiteMeCullen107

3

Nick Wolfe

posted by BlondLionEzel

Chapter 1: A Chance Meeting, Karamia!

*San Francisco, California*

Lemuel: *Driving*

Karamia: *Struggling* Let me go!

Lemuel: *Laughs evilly* I shall never let u go!

*Suddenly, something stops the car*

Lemuel: Huh? What the devil was that??!!!

Fire Wolfe: *Appears from a small fire* Let the girl go!

Lemuel: *Grins* Why should I go?

Fire Wolfe: *Hand becomes brand and punches the car* Let her go!

Lemuel: *Gets out*

Fire Wolfe: *Grabs Leumel and throws him 10 feet away*

Karamia: *Sees brand Wolfe* Who are you???!!!

Fire Wolfe: I am a friend *Grabs her and runs*

Karamia: *Screaming*

*The volgende day, Japantown,...

3

EPIC FANPOP RAP BATTLE OF HISTORY! (made door me and ssook78)

posted by hikari_hiwatari

SSOOK78 (Cookie)

VS

HIKARI_HIWATARI (Ozzy)

BEGIN

ssook78

Hey Ozzy i got something to say to you
i can't say something mean to u cause i'm to nice
nicer then u in fact most people will say
yeah that's right u heard from me right now today
your a total bitch
i don't know why we were vrienden in the first place
because u have an ugly ezel face

hikari_hiwatari

oh well Cookie your a real nice friend
i thought u were my bestie seems like it has reaches it's end
you calling me ugly? go look in the mirror
cause i don't know which is meer scary
you of Bloody Mary
you better watch what u say of i'll come for...

2

The Fate of the Ones Who Can't Change Chapter One: Caught in Love

posted by misscrazel

SYVIN

I lay on the gras in the clearing of the woods. Trees rise above our heads and I can hear the trickle of water nearby.
'If someone finds us we're going to be sent to Prison,' Liiel says.
'We're veilig here,' I tell him. 'We'll here The Stalkers coming.'
We have to speak in code, one that The Stalkers don't know. Prison is actually just a camp we would go to. It has a school and a yard and two dorms; girl's dorm and boy's dorm. The Stalkers are the people who send u there. Staff members of the prison. Stalker is a good name for them. They've been stalking me for seven of eight years now,...

3

Nick Reviews Episode 1: Free Bird

posted by BlondLionEzel

Well, this is my first Movie Review, and I shall be reviewing "Free Birds".

Plot: A Turkey named Reggie becomes a "Pardoned Turkey" (it's a real thing, look it up) and enjoys eating pizza and watching TV. Then, Reggie gets kidnapped door a Turkey named Jake to help him go back in time and get Turkeys off the Thanksgiving menu.

Already the plot is ripping off "Chicken Run" in most ways. First off, Jake is like Rocky, Jenny is like Ginger, and the main villain is British.

Score: 1/5

Music: There was actually liked two of the songs, "Up around the Ben" door Social Distortion and "Back in Time" door MattyB...

2

Tell Me Something I don't Know Lyrics

posted by nmdis

TELL ME SOMETHING I DON”T KNOW
Everybody tells me that it's so hard to make it
Its so hard to break in, there's no way to fake it
Everybody tells me that it's wrong what I'm feeling
I shouldn't believe in the dreams that I'm dreaming
I hear it every day, I hear it all the time
I'm never gonna amount to much
But they're never gonna change my mind, no!
Tell me, tell me, tell me something I don't know
Something I don't know, something I don't know
Tell me, tell me, tell me something I don't know
Something I don't know, something I don't know
How many inches in a mile, what it takes to make u smile
Teach...

4

Random DERP story

posted by TotalDramaFan60

It all started when Chloe was in the keuken-, keuken making cupcakes...
Chloe:I'm gonna bake these cupcakes in time for when Sara comes!
(Sara walks through the door)
Chloe: aw, s**t.
Sara:wha?
Chloe:wha?
(Jimmy walks through door)
Jimmy:hi
Sara:jimmy what the h**l are u doing here ur not supposed to be here jimmy:i dont care im stupid
Chloe:yay another stupid person
(derpy comes out if nowhere)
Derpy:WHAT DOES THE FOCKS SAY ? RINGADINGADINGADOO RINGADINGADINGADOO
Fluttershy(is watching in security room)
Fluttershy:what. the. f***k did i just see

THE END

4

Chapter-8: My life... (Teen Fiction)

posted by nivi20997

Rachel's POV:

He was ready to tell me something.

Asking me how come I know that? He patted the place volgende to me.

That means that he wants to say me something.

Ha. I know him better than hos friends. I think.

He inhaled and exhaled air and opened his eyes to look through my eyes and speak.

"I have a girlfriend named, Ruby. I guess u might have met her at the cafeteria at school." He said.

Yeah, I think that's the girl who slapped me and asked me nit to talk with Andrew.

I slowly nodded.

"Did she hurt u very badly? Sorry. I came to know that just now."

"No, that's okay..." I zei trailing off.

"Erm......

3

top, boven 10 coolest cars

posted by Seanthehedgehog

IDK why, but I guess I'll be writing certain top, boven 10 artikels for anything. That's pretty much what I've been doing so far. Anyway, here's my top, boven 10 favoriete cars of all time

10. Honda S2000

It's a nice sports car, with racing modifications, it could be a fairly good race car. Not only in video games, but in real life as well.

9. Dodge Charger

I'm not talking about those new chargers, though ther are cool. The charger on this list, is the one from the late 60's. This is one of the best muscle cars anyone can get their hands on. It has been featured in many films with car chases that are liked...

6

My life... : Chapter-5 (Teen Fiction)

posted by nivi20997

Rachel’s POV:

That evening while leaving school, I heard girls talking about beauty contest that was going to take place in another two weeks.

All I wanted to do was to go home pagina right now and complete reading Julius Caesar book.

What a good plan Mark Antony had towards the assassinators!

As usual, I got my locker cleaned and walked towards the cafeteria to have a sip of coffee.

Enjoying my coffee, I sat down and heard someone call out my name.

I just turned back and saw the angel.

Announcement to ladies and gentlemen: Andrew was calling out my name.

He came closer to me and zei “I want to talk...

4

My life... (A teen fiction)

posted by nivi20997

Rachel's POV:

Hi guys, my name is Rachel Stewart. I have got a huge crush on Andrew Fedrer, the guy volgende door from the very first dag he saved my life from a poisonous snake. But later only I came to know that he did that to attract Vanessa Han.
He is one of the hottest guy in our school. He has gone out on a datum with every single girl in our school and that big lijst includes even Vanessa Han. Okay that happened last week.
Like I already told, he has gone out on a datum with everyone. Wait, not everyone. I didn’t go out with him.
WHY??
I am a nerd. And also a big bookworm who is always stuck with...

5

a Tumblr rant about the earth

posted by justinfangrrl

I did write this on tumblr. It's both opinion and fact. More-so on fact. Say what u want. But don't be rude.

***

A rant for the earth~ Idle no meer

-just a rant, reblog if u wish/if u love the earth- //read if u want

Jeez, I was having a conversation with my mom (a social studies teacher) about racism and how odd it is that somehow all the corrupt, stupid people get picked to be a Country’s leader. [This isn’t always the case of course, but it happens meer than it should]

I can honestly say that Stephen Harper is probably the most despicable, corrupt, moronic, pathetic excuse of a Prime...

4

Strange Sisters Forever Chapter 6: Eve's House

posted by Draculaura10

"See you!" Emma zei turning the corner on her bike. Eve and Mellissa waved in reply. The rest of the school dag went door pretty quickly for them. "Eve, can I see your place? We've seen mine and Emma’s just not yours." Mellissa asked. "No, my room would be, uh, too messy. Maybe some other time," Eve zei panicking. "Gosh, okay then. I'll see u tomorrow." Mellissa replied. "There's something Eve's hiding... and I'm going to find out!" Mellissa thought.

Mellissa followed Eve to a small one story house that looked warm and cozy. Mellissa hid behind the side. Eve turned around in Mellissa's...

3

Strange Sisters Forever Chapter 5: Wednesdays with Winters

posted by Draculaura10

The volgende dag was Wednesday, which meant they met with Ms. Winters again. "I'm kind of scared!" Emma whined. Mellissa and Eve rolled their eyes. “Come on, Emma!" Eve threw back her head. "Fine." Emma replied back.

When it was time, Ms. Winters pulled them inside the classroom. "We're going to learn your abilities. Eve, u first. Think bats." Ms. Winters said. Eve got up and closed her eyes. Fangs shot out of mouth and her once small human frame morphed into a bat. "Squeeeeeak! Squeeeaaaak!" Eve tried to say.

"Nice job, Miss Dipalo.Now Mellissa. If u don't already know, u have super strength,...

2

Unraveling the mysteries of the interwebz: What do I mean when I say lol?

posted by youngtraveler

First off, I’m trying to convey that I find your statement of remark funny, even though I may of may not be laughing behind this screen. Some people are too lazy to laugh, of just do it to make them think that they like u in order to get something out of you. Those kind of lolers are NOT your friends, I repeat NOT. For those who are clueless about what I’m talking about, “lol” is internet slang for laugh out loud and is probably the most used word on the internet and about 90% of internet denizens use this slang word in their daily online conversations, blog posts, comments, etc....