The time seemed to go door too fast that night. I stared at the ceiling. My mind so blank, yet so complex with thoughts. I knew that I just wasn't ready for this. Abortion isn't even a option though. It doesn't matter whether u drown your baby in the bathtub of nip him the butt, murder is murder. Omg! What if I end up a cray mother like that?
I shook my head furiously. No, that won't be me. I will love and take care of my child. How exactly I'm going to do that I'm not sure. I'm too much a chicken to tell Emet. I would completely ruin his future. That boy has his college fund in the bag. He is so smart and amazing at sports. Imagine if he were to throw all that away to work at McDonald's and support me and this "thing". I just can't do that to him.
What about me? I'm advanced in all my classes and I've been dreaming of the universiteit of Texas since I was like 7 years old. I can't attend UT with a baby. I wanted to travel and see this vast creation God has made. I can't do that with a baby. I'm a teenager who has no idea what I'm doing. Guess that's no excuse. I feel pretty hopeless right now.
Who would I tell first? (Other than Lette)...Could I tell Emet before my own mom? But then again Emet could help me approach my mom if he knew first. Ughhh, I don't know what to do! I'm only a teenager. This wasn't what I would've thought of when I thought of high school. There goes the nest four years. Kiss them goodbye.
I shook my head furiously. No, that won't be me. I will love and take care of my child. How exactly I'm going to do that I'm not sure. I'm too much a chicken to tell Emet. I would completely ruin his future. That boy has his college fund in the bag. He is so smart and amazing at sports. Imagine if he were to throw all that away to work at McDonald's and support me and this "thing". I just can't do that to him.
What about me? I'm advanced in all my classes and I've been dreaming of the universiteit of Texas since I was like 7 years old. I can't attend UT with a baby. I wanted to travel and see this vast creation God has made. I can't do that with a baby. I'm a teenager who has no idea what I'm doing. Guess that's no excuse. I feel pretty hopeless right now.
Who would I tell first? (Other than Lette)...Could I tell Emet before my own mom? But then again Emet could help me approach my mom if he knew first. Ughhh, I don't know what to do! I'm only a teenager. This wasn't what I would've thought of when I thought of high school. There goes the nest four years. Kiss them goodbye.
January 20, 1815
Journal,
It’s my birthday, Journal. I’m thirteen. Sasha attempts to smile for me, and I cry when she succeeds. Even though her teeth are yellow, and her lips are marked with blood, she looks better than she did earlier. Her gums swell, but she still manages to speak. Nastea laughs for the first time in days, at seeing Sasha smile. My birthday is going better than I expected it to. I do not ask for gifts of cake. I only ask for me and my sisters to survive through this.
Bye Journal,
Nadia
Journal,
It’s my birthday, Journal. I’m thirteen. Sasha attempts to smile for me, and I cry when she succeeds. Even though her teeth are yellow, and her lips are marked with blood, she looks better than she did earlier. Her gums swell, but she still manages to speak. Nastea laughs for the first time in days, at seeing Sasha smile. My birthday is going better than I expected it to. I do not ask for gifts of cake. I only ask for me and my sisters to survive through this.
Bye Journal,
Nadia
Normally, this style just isn't me, but I feel like I needed to release all of my wrath, turning it into sadness, eventually.
So, I'm not an emo poem writer, but I just wanted to publiceer this piece I literally just wrote.
I am broken
There's no one left to fix me.
All hope is lost
There's so much I will never be.
I am broken
My world has been shattered.
All hope is lost
I am nothing, destroyed and battered.
I am broken
The world around me falls apart.
All hope is lost
There is no chance for a new start.
I am broken
I have been left here on my own.
All hope is lost
There's no one else; I am here alone.
I am broken
The pain is too much for me to bare.
All hope is lost
In the end, the others just don't care.
I was broken
No tears remain in my fearful eyes.
All hope is gone
My world ended with nothing but lies.
So, I'm not an emo poem writer, but I just wanted to publiceer this piece I literally just wrote.
I am broken
There's no one left to fix me.
All hope is lost
There's so much I will never be.
I am broken
My world has been shattered.
All hope is lost
I am nothing, destroyed and battered.
I am broken
The world around me falls apart.
All hope is lost
There is no chance for a new start.
I am broken
I have been left here on my own.
All hope is lost
There's no one else; I am here alone.
I am broken
The pain is too much for me to bare.
All hope is lost
In the end, the others just don't care.
I was broken
No tears remain in my fearful eyes.
All hope is gone
My world ended with nothing but lies.